Our Mommyhood

Posts Tagged ‘toddler’

By Sarah, Contributor, The Stroller Ballet (@strollerballet)

I find it particularly difficult to eat out with Peanut. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t. The “terrible twos” are nicknamed such for a reason. And I’m never totally sure when she’ll blow. Or over what. Pre-motherhood, I imagined myself as that woman who would take her toddler everywhere. Oh, how times have changed. Now I’d prefer to hide in the bedroom with a blanket covering my head, pan of brownies on the bedside table. Anyway, I guess the cat’s out the the bag. Sometimes, I lack control. I think the best of us do (I hope the best of us do).

Recently, we attempted lunch. “Attempt” being the operative word. In retrospect, there were warning signs. It had been a long morning. With lots of stimulation, including a trip to the Central Park Zoo. She hadn’t really rested (save for a quick 20 minute nap on the subway). But we had the magic tablet (ipad) complete with full length “Thomas the Tank Engine” movie. And it was an incredible, beautiful, spring day in New York City. I thought it just might be ok.

It wasn’t. At all.

First, she wanted the ice from my husband’s glass of water. Actually, she wanted to pick up the ice with a fork and attempt to eat it. Logical, perhaps, to a two year old. Not nearly appropriate (or tidy), though. From there, things went progressively downhill. To the point where I became “that” mother in the corner of “X” Cafe, frantically attempting to wrangle a shoe-less toddler. I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment as we quickly exited. I’d never been openly glared at in a restaurant. Until then, of course.

We walked home, quietly. Peanut was dirty, angry and foul. Frustrated and discouraged, I wondered who this child was and where she had come from. “Let’s cut through the playground,” my husband suggested. He took Peanut out of the stroller, placing her on the ground. And as she watched the children play, around her, the unthinkable happened.

Her mood improved. She smiled. She laughed.

We exited the park, and I was struck with the realization that this afternoon was so transient. “Do you realized we’ll tell her about today, one day, when she’s all grown up?” I asked my husband.

Indeed, we won’t forget. Because we are parents.

It isn’t always pretty.

But even these moments are part of our experience.

By Melissa, Contributor, Confessions of a Dr. Mom

Toddlers and not napping are three words that never go well together. And yet, right around the ripe old age of two, many children start to put up quite the fight when it comes to naptime.

Does this mean they don’t need a nap? Should I make my child take a nap? Help, my toddler doesn’t nap anymore!

These are questions and pleas I hear all the time from mothers in desperate need of that one to two hour window of reprieve. Sleep is important for all of us, this much we know. But, how exactly do we make a toddler take a nap? As you and I both know, we really can’t make a two year do anything. The art comes in the form of gentle coercion and setting the magical scene that will translate into a solid and predictable nap time.

Sounds simple right? Believe me; I know this can be quite the struggle. My son gave up his naps right before he turned three. This seemed way too early for me, especially since I had a newborn on my hands and rest at that point was not just a luxury, it was a necessity. Unfortunately, his naps never magically reappeared. I cursed the nap gods, but realized he was catching all the zzz’s he needed at night.

So while trying to determine whether naps are gone from your life forever or whether you’ve simply hit a bump in the road, the first thing you have to ask yourself is: how many hours is my child sleeping at night?

Children between the ages of 2 and 3 need about 11-15 hours of sleep within a 24 hour period. This is such a huge range and if you’re lucky enough to fall on the latter end of the spectrum, your child will most definitely still be taking a midday snooze. I, however, had a wonderfully active toddler who clocked 11 hours at night and apparently that’s all he needed. If I was fortunate enough to lull him into a nap, it always came at a price, namely a super late bedtime. So, I no longer enforced his nap time.

Now if you’ve determined your toddler still needs a nap because he starts showing you signs that he’s sleepy, such as eye rubbing, yawning, zoning out or is easy to meltdown, then in spite of his resistance, naps should still be part of his day.

Create a nap time routine that is a mini version of his bedtime ritual. Give him fair warning, too. Tell him that after his snack and some coloring, it’s time for a nap. Children this age refuse naps because they can. It’s an opportunity for them to exercise some control over their world. By letting him know what to expect and prepping him with a nap time routine, he can better accept what is to come.

Still won’t nap? Start instituting quiet time. Even if he’s ready to kick those naps to the curb, he would still benefit from some down time. You will, too. Tell your resistant napper that he may play quietly in his room with books, cars or puzzles. Let him know that you will set a timer and that he can come out to play after an hour.
I have been doing this with my three year old daughter recently as she has started to resist naps. About half the time, she ends up dozing off, and on her own terms. Quiet time is completely working in our favor.

As you can see, nap scenarios vary from one child to the next. Some will stop napping at age two, while others will be on the verge of entering kindergarten and still crave a midday nap. The key is determining your child’s sleep needs and making sure she gets it within a 24 hour period.

The bottom line is this: nap or no nap, children and parents need down time during the day. Whether this comes in the form of a nap or quiet time will depend on the needs of both you and your child.

When did your child give up napping altogether? Did you benefit from some quiet time?

Melissa is a board certified pediatrician, mom of two, writer, blogger, and child advocate. She is author of Confessions of a Dr.Mom, her personal blog where she writes about motherhood, parenting, and children’s health. Candid parenting moments are included.

By Brook, Staff Writer, Baby and Sofia (@babyandsofia)

My toddler loves technology. I know conventional wisdom says that we must keep our children away from too much television and computer time, but I beg to differ.  My SmartPhone is my toddler’s favorite toy.  Talking on Skype keeps him in touch with both sets of grandparents, who happen to live in opposite corners of the globe.  (Literally.  They live 12 time zones apart.) We love watching Curious George on PBS during breakfast. Oh, and I just bought my little one an $8 Buzz Lightyear “laptop,” which he absolutely adores.  (Did I mention this new MacBook look-alike buys me 5 minutes to answer my email? It’s glorious.)

I do understand that little ones shouldn’t be glued to the TV or to video games. In fact, I only let Paolo watch a few select programs on PBS during the week and Baby Einstein videos. (Currently we have been watching the farm video in Spanish; Paolo loves the cow sock puppet.  He thinks it’s absolutely hilarious.) Other than that, he’s not really allowed to watch anything else on television, and at 15 months he is clearly too little for video games. (I’ll have to tackle that when the time comes.)

At the same time, in this day and age, technology is a part of our lives, and teaching moderation is an important lesson.  Without Skype, Paolo would barely know his grandparents. With one set in southern Italy, the other in Hawaii and us in the Midwest, video chat has been an absolute lifesaver.  Not only does he know his relatives’ names, faces and voices, his Italian language skills are reinforced by chatting with his nonni in Italy.

I’ve read some articles condemning parents for letting their children play on their SmartPhones, saying the screens are the same as watching TV. But Paolo loves to play with mine; he pretends to make phone calls and babbles away into the receiver. He laughs and laughs, and make-believes that it’s for me, passing the phone my way to play along with him. And it keeps him happy and busy during errands or in the car. As a mom, what more could I ask for from a SmartPhone?

When it comes to toddlers and technology, I say moderation is key.

What is your method?  How do you feel about your little ones spending time with technological devices?

By Brook, Staff Writer, Baby and Sofia (@babyandsofia)

This past month my baby and I passed a major milestone:  I stopped nursing him and have exclusively moved to cow’s milk.  I had read that weaning your baby could be a little challenging, a little emotional.  For me, though, it has been an enormous adjustment.  And not only for me, but for Paolo, too; at fourteen months he was completely attached to nursing.

After Paolo was born, I did not experience even a moment of post-partum depression. I had never been happier or more fulfilled in my entire life. I felt like I finally had found the perfect place in my life. Last month, though, I decided it was time to wean the baby. He used nursing not only as his primary source of nutrition, but also as his primary method of soothing.  Besides falling asleep during a car ride, the only way I could get him to fall asleep was to nurse him. I started to realize that Paolo would not be one of the babies who would naturally grow out of breastfeeding. Or, if he did, it would be as a 3- or 4-year-old. And while I loved the closeness and bonding during nursing, I know that it would not be practical for me to nurse Paolo for the next 2 or 3 years. Especially as I’d like to have another baby, and nursing while being pregnant does not sound like a walk in the park.  (My last pregnancy was not exactly super easy.)

So, last December I cut nursing sessions down to twice a day. After a few weeks, I cut back even further, to only before bed.  (Which made naptime a real struggle, but Paolo eventually got used to it.)  With the New Year, I took away the bedtime nurse. Paolo was none to pleased about. After a few days of crying fits, he finally started to learn that a sippy cup with chocolate milk while cuddling with me was relaxing enough to fall asleep.

(Side note: I found that using half chocolate milk/half whole milk worked like a charm; Paolo started asking for it instead of nursing. I’ll start cutting less and less chocolate milk as he adjusts to not nursing.)

In addition to the struggle of trying to teach Paolo our new routine, I started feeling very hormonal. Extremely hormonal, really. It was a very weird and uncomfortable feeling. As I weaned Paolo, my hormones levels shifted, leaving me with emotional changes.  And it really took me by surprise. And I don’t think that the dark, cold winter weather has been all that helpful.  In short, it hasn’t been easy.

As time goes on, we are both getting more used to this adjustment. It’s been really hard for both us to not have our special time together. Paolo still gets fussy at night; I can tell that he’s not sure what he wants, but he knows he’s missing something.  Hopefully soon this will pass, too.

Weaning a toddler is tricky, but now that I’ve gone through it, I hope to be more prepared the next time around.

If you nursed your baby into toddlerhood, what was your experience like?

By Kristi, Contributor, Live and Love…Out Loud (@TweetingMama)

Breastfeeding is a journey. One that’s riddled with challenges, setbacks and at times, criticism.

Early on in my pregnancy, I made a commitment to give breastfeeding a valiant effort. Twenty-one months later, what started out as a valiant effort has become what I consider one of my proudest moments in parenting. It’s been an amazing journey – one that I’m still on, in fact – but it hasn’t been easy. Through trial and error and with the help of some amazing folks, my journey through breastfeeding has been a successful one.

Navigating My Way Through Challenges and Setbacks

Like most expectant mothers, I spent the majority of my pregnancy preparing for the arrival of my baby. Purchasing a slew of baby clothes, getting regular prenatal care and learning everything I could about breastfeeding – proper latch-on technique, various nursing positions and the amazing health benefits for both mother and child. I was pumped about breastfeeding, so to speak, and genuinely ready to give it a go.

Then my daughter was born.

The thing is, when it comes to breastfeeding, all the preparation in the world can’t prepare you for the real thing. Breastfeeding is really hard work. It requires commitment, support, practice and patience. And a desire to work through the challenges and setbacks that will inevitably present themselves along the way.

Eleven months into breastfeeding, I hit a major road block: biting, teeth-scraping and painful nipple tears threatened to bring my breastfeeding journey to an end. After many tears and a whole lot of trial and error, I learned that if baby was latched on properly, it was impossible for her to clamp down on my girlie bits. In order to heal my painful tear, I stopped nursing from the injured breast and at the advice of a friend I turned to hand expressing my milk through the duration of the healing process. Within a couple weeks, I was able to nurse from both breasts again.

As most women who’ve breastfed through the teething stage can attest, biting and teeth-scraping can be a huge challenge to overcome. The pain associated with these types of injuries can be a deal-breaker. I’ll admit that one point, I considered throwing in the towel. Boy am I glad that I didn’t.

Riding the Wave of Criticism

I’ll never understand why the same people who get excited when they hear about mothers nursing their newborn babies, become critical of those who choose to nurse beyond 6 months and into the toddler stage.

“You’re still breastfeeding her? Are you kidding me? How old is she now? When are you going to stop? Doesn’t she have TEETH?” Famous words from my mother.

And your mother, her next door neighbor, your best friend and that little old lady at the mall. You get where I’m going with this. When it comes to breastfeeding everyone has an opinion, many of which are fueled by misconceptions. Fortunately, the only opinion that matters is my own and that of my child.

Yes, I’m still nursing my 21-month old toddler. We’re both reaping the amazing benefits and enjoying the special relationship that comes from breastfeeding. My daughter is happy and healthy and we’re both extremely comfortable with our decision to continue to nurse. In fact, we plan to do so until one of us waves the white flag. Until then, no amount of criticism will bring this journey to an end.

Sure, this breastfeeding journey has been riddled with challenges, set backs and even criticism. But with commitment, support, practice and patience I’ve succeeded in what has become one of my proudest moments in parenting. I wish the same for you.

How long have you been breastfeeding? What type of criticism or challenges and setbacks have you’ve faced?

Kristi’s navigating a sea of teenage hormones, dirty diapers and a family with ever-changing needs while blogging about it all at Live and Love…Out Loud.