Our Mommyhood

Posts Tagged ‘summer’

by Megan M., Contributor, All A Bunch Of Momsense (@taxmegan)

It’s hard to believe that it’s back to school time.

The smell of pink erasers rubs out that of sunscreen and garden soil.

Crayons line up like little soldiers in their box, points as yet unbroken. Bicycles lay discarded in the yard.

Yellow buses and yellow Number 2 pencils replace the fading yellow blooms of Black Eyed Susans.

My children’s eyes shining in excitement, ready to see old friends and meet new ones.

My own eyes glistening with pride as they pour from the bus, eager to share stories of their day.

New shoes, new jeans, new backpacks.

Early mornings, concrete bedtimes, returning to routines that have slipped by the wayside, glossed over for lightning bug hunts and campouts in the living room.

While I mourn the end of summertime, I bask in the joy of learning. Watching my daughter light up as she sounds out a new word. Seeing my younger son puff up with pride as he tells me about an A on a test. Celebrating with my oldest as he nails multiplication facts.  Each time they succeed, I succeed.

For this is part of my job.  Teaching, guiding, celebrating, consoling. Encouraging them to be the people they can be. Helping them set their dreams as high as they want them, and letting them know that I’ll be there to give them a boost so they can reach.

And when they don’t need a boost? I’ll be waiting there at the bus stop at the end of each day.

By Kelly, Guest Writer, the miller mix

When I was growing up, one of the best parts of summer was summer camp. I’d anticipate my week (sometimes two) for months in advance, mark down the days on my calendar, and get heady with excitement when it came time to shop for the supplies list. But my son is a different kid than I was.

Where I was buzzing with excitement at just the prospect of camp, my son is wracked with anxiety. Where I talked non-stop and flitted from one packing project to another, my son has emotional meltdowns and physical tantrums that increase in intensity and duration as camp gets closer.

My son has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). While most people think of children with ADHD as extremely active and highly distracted (which he totally is), this disorder affects more than how a child behaves — it also affects how he processes and reacts to stressful situations. And, for my son, leaving the comfort and security of home is highly stressful.

I am not a mean parent who forces her child to go somewhere he doesn’t want to go. Quite the contrary, actually. My son loves being at camp. Last year, when he got off the bus after his week away, his first words were, “When can I go back?” He wrote a letter that said simply, “You were right, Mom. This is fun! Gotta go. I’m playing spoons with my friends!”

It’s not being at camp that’s the problem. It’s the packing, the leaving, the uncertainty of where he’ll sit on the bus and who will be in his cabin. It’s the worry that he won’t have some crucial item he needs (this year, all 55 of his silly bandz) or that he’s forgotten something. It’s the crushing anxiety that something will go wrong, that things will change for the worse, that nothing will be the same when he returns. It’s the hard-wired inability to process these emotions and stop worrying.

So in the face of this days-long trauma that I see him undergo even when he’s just attending a day camp, we’ve developed an arsenal of skills that help ease his worries. These strategies are extremely helpful for children with disorders like my son’s, but they’re also useful for that first-time camper or the one who is sleeping away for the first time. Give them a shot and let me know how it goes.

1. Involve him in the process. There are many camp opportunities. In my rural area, we have more than 20 to choose from — from one-day camps to weeks away from home. As a novice camper mom, I used to schedule him for as many as we could afford. Big mistake. Now, I sit down with him and ask him which he thinks are interesting.

I don’t ask him which he’d enjoy because he’d tell me none. He likes to be here with the family and he’s anxious of change, so I don’t fall into that trap. Picking out what he thinks is interesting shows me where he’d go if he were a kid who’d admit that kind of thing. Then I choose one per month. That’s all. Three camps out of 20. As he gets older, maybe we’ll move to four — maybe not.

2. Remind him how much fun camp is. Often, children focus on what may be rather than what is. If they start to venture down the “no one’s going to like me” path, steer them toward more positive talk. Bring up their favorite memories to help them focus on what they know rather than what they don’t.

For instance, starting a few weeks before camp, I start reminding my son about all the fun things he did last year at camp. “Tell me again about the archery course,” I’ll prompt, knowing that he excelled at archery. Or, “don’t you hope they play the Cha Cha Slide at the dance?” I’ll say with a smile, knowing that’s his favorite song to dance to.

3. Be gentle with his time. Many parents have the tendency to overschedule their children. I’ve found that children respond to transition and stress better when they have the time and space to think and feel. That means no swimming lessons or long days of errand running or friends spending the night.

Quiet days. Quiet, introspective activities that allow your child to stay calm, which allows his brain to work. For us, it’s days of drawing, taking hikes, watching birds. For you, it might be swimming at dusk, a family bike ride, or puzzles. The point is to not add more stress onto your already-stressed-out child. If you can’t do it all day, carve out some time each evening.

4. Prepare for the worst. Sounds like I’ve been spending too much time with my son, but this really works for me. I expect my son to have major meltdowns, to throw things, to storm away, to refuse to get in the car. Because I expect it, I’m prepared with the tools I’ll need most: patience and compassion. When his face goes dark, I take a deep breath. The storm may pass, and it may not, but I’m prepared because I expected it.

I’ve given up on seeing my kid off to camp with a big smile on his face. I’ve given up on the dream that he’ll want to help shop for supplies or tell others how cool it is that he gets to go. I’ve given up on the anger or frustration that I’ve done all of this work for him to have a cool summer experience. Those are things that are about me — not him. And I laid them down a long time ago.

Here’s what I’ve gotten in return: A much smoother send off process. A kid who loves every minute of camp once he realizes the world won’t end while he’s gone. A camper who returns to me with the biggest smile on his face, days’ worth of great summer camp memories, and a crumpled piece of paper with new friends’ names and addresses. Oh, and a boy who plays a mean game of spoons.

Believe me. It’s so worth it.

In MinneSOOOta, we’re stuck inside for 9 months of the year…so when the sun shines (and it’s above freezing) we venture outside. We slather on the sunscreen and the bug spray and we soak it in…’cuz we know all to well that very, very soon we’ll be stuck inside. Dressed in layer upon layer and hoping our noses don’t freeze and fall off the next time we walk outside.

Anywho, back to summer. It’s awesome.

I am a mother who counts down the days of school WITH my children. The mother who gets just as excited for summer as I did when I was in school. I even went so far as to deny my 8 year old gymnastics this summer because, and I quote, “I don’t want to spent my summer in a gym!”

Hmmmm…now that I’ve written that, I wonder…does that make me a bad mom? I felt a little guilty, at first, when I told her that…but I knew that she would insist on me NOT leaving while she was there, and I’ll be damned if I was gonna sit in recycled air conditioning when I could be sitting beside a tennis court or a t-ball field breathing in fresh, clean air and soakin’ up the Vitamin D!

Now that I’ve confessed that, I sort of feel like I’ve just made myself out to be the “Summer Nazi”.

The, “YOU WILL ENJOY SUMMER WITH EVERY OUNCE OF YOUR BEING, SO HELP ME GOD!” crazy mother.

Uh oh. Will this be yet another thing my children blame me for in therapy when they get older?

Great.

Something else to worry about…

*Shrugs*…In the mean time, I’ve got to get my kids to tennis.

And t-ball…not to mention the beach…golf lessons…Little League…oh, and there’s bug spray to apply, sunscreen to slather…

Guess I don’t have time to worry!

I hope you are enjoying your summer!

By Working Mommy, Contributor, Lessons Learned (@lessonslrndblog)

The perfect summer party isn’t complete without the perfect ribs!! I mean, it doesn’t get any better than having over great friends to share conversation, beers and ribs (sometimes I think I sound more like a guy…but I promise you, I’m not!)!! The Man has a great recipe for ribs…and while I can’t share the EXACT concoction he’s come up with, I can share a few tips for great ribs!!

Tip #1 – MEAT:In order to have the best finished product, your have to start with quality meat. We have found that the best meat comes from specialty markets. Sure, the ribs you could find at Giant, SuperFresh or SafeWay will get you through…but you won’t be truly happy with the result! My favorite is Wegmans – and for those of you lucky enough to have one near you, take advantage of the meat department! Yes, it is a little on the pricey side…but it is TOTALLY worth it! Whatever you do – DO NOT get your meat from a bulk store like BJs or Costco…the quality and consistency of cut just isn’t there…and you will pay dearly for that in the end!

Tip #2 – RUB:The best ribs use a mix of dry and wet ingredients. Get your favorite barbecue sauce out for this one, folks! In this house we like things a little SPICY – okay, a LOT spicy – so our sauce in extra hot! The sauce should always be the first thing put on your ribs…this will ensure your dry ingredients stick. As you will see from the below picture, you really don’t have to worry about the bottom portion of the ribs – focus all of your efforts on the top. Apply a generous coating of sauce and then proceed with your dry ingredients. In our casa, we go with a combination of chili powder, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, garlic power and salt. There are plenty of pre-made rib rubs…so feel free to use one of those. Once you apply your dry items, put on another coating of sauce and another layer of your dry rub.

Tip #3 – COOKING: If you don’t cook your ribs in a smoker, a grill is your next best option. Unlike searing steaks, a super hot grill at 500 degrees is not necessary. You want to make sure you cook your ribs at a consistent 300 degrees. Check your grill every hour or so, just to keep any flare-ups in check. After 4-5 hours, your meaty goodness will be ready to eat! The most important thing to keep in mind is that this is not a quick process…raising the temperature on your grill will not make things move faster – it will only get you burned ribs…and no one wants that! Take your time, keep your cool and enjoy your friends. Once dinner comes around you will have the perfect centerpiece!

Tip #4 – EAT: You can now enjoy your ribs…YUM!!

By Bethany, Guest Writer, Organic Enchilada

It never fails – kids look forward to summer vacation nearly as much as Christmas, and twelve hours into it we hear the first, “Mom, I’m bored.  What can I do?”

We’re all glad for a break from the rigorous schedule of school, but not having to do anything turns into having nothing to do rather quickly.  Kids need to be engaged in something new almost daily or you’ll soon have a couch potato or two on your hands.

So in case you’re suffering from the summer blues already, or just want to be proactive, here’s a list of things your might want to do this summer.

1.  Build a fort in the backyard.  Cardboard boxes, blankets, whatever ya got.

2.  Make Kool-Aid ice.  (Fill an ice tray with Kool-Aid, freeze it, eat it alone or in a drink.)

3.  Fly a kite.  Make your own if you’re feeling ambitious.

4.  Pack a dinner and take it to the park.

5.  For that matter, you could have a picnic right in your backyard, or your living room on a rainy day.

6.  Bake cookies.  (In the morning if it’s hot!)

7.  Let the kids set up a Popsicle or lemonade stand.

8.  Play doctor.  Now, don’t go thinking this is dirty.  You get an old phone and a notebook for making appointments, a card table for a reception desk, maybe a waiting room in the living room and the exam room in the kitchen?  Be sure to have band-aids and gauze for any ailing patients.

9.  Have a bike race.

10.  Or a bike parade!  Let the kids decorate their bikes with streamers and balloons.

11.  Run through sprinklers.

12.  Play-doh creation contest.  See who can build the best alien, wedding cake, longest snake, etc..

13.  Movie day!  Pop popcorn, give out tickets, make posters with show times, invite the neighbor kids.

14.  Make a bug habitat and find some residents for it.

15.  Go to the library.

16.  Tell the kids to plan a talent show for Mom and Dad to watch.  (Or grandparents?)

17.  Let the kids make their own summer scrapbooks and spend three months filling it up!

18.  Read a book under a tree with an apple.

19.  Pick berries at a farm.

20.  Watch for community activities throughout the summer – check your city’s web page.

21.  Water balloon fight, or water balloon volleyball  – two kids hold opposite ends of a towel and launch a balloon across a net or imaginary line, team on the other side has to catch it in their towel and re-launch to the other side.

22.  Sidewalk chalk mural in the driveway.  Make it HUGE!

23.  Sleep under the stars.

24.  Take a walk through the neighborhood, let the kids take a picture with your camera of something they’d like to paint, (a rosebush, a pond, a bug…), and come home and let them paint their representation of it.

25.  Visit an elderly neighbor who might need some company.

26.  Visit Dad at work and go to lunch together.

27.  Play school.  (Sounds awful this soon out of it, but kids love to take turns being the teacher.)

28.  Game day.  Pull out every board game you have and play them all, inside or out.

29.  Drive in movie – have the kids spend a day making cars out of cardboard boxes and park them in the backyard at night and watch a movie outside.  (Just bring an old TV out and plug it in to an extension cord or something.)

30.  Spa day.  Give each other mud facials, manicures, etc.

31.  Go to the community pool.

32.  Invest in a slip n’ slide.  Hours of fun, all summer long.

33.  Teach your kids a new sport – tennis, baseball, whatever.

34.  Learn something new with your kids – chess, cross-stitch, French, anything that strikes your fancy.

35.  Check out a library book about plants and identify some in your neighborhood.  Same could be done for trees and bugs.

36.  Invite friends over.  All their old games and adventures will feel new if they have someone to share them with.

37.  Plant a garden or a flower.

38.  Practice your cartwheels, hand-stands, somersaults, etc.  Attach a ribbon to a dowel and do a ribbon dance.

39.  Make simple scenery and costumes and put on a play.  Or just use your imagination and skip the scenery.

40.  Play hopscotch or jump rope.

41.  Color in a coloring book.

42.  Explore a new part of town – is there a park or restaurant you haven’t tried?

43.  Build a bird feeder out of an empty milk carton.

44.  Go hiking.

45.  Make your own ice cream.

46.  Climb a tree.

47.  Wash the car.

48.  Go to a museum.  I bet you can find a free one near you.

49.  Go camping!  Don’t forget the s’mores.

50.  Have a carnival.  Tell your kids and their friends to make their own game or booth, invite them all to your backyard and have a blast!  Try making your own corn dogs, elephant ears, or snow cones.  (Or all of them if you like to slowly kill your innards like I do.)

What can you come up with?  Think back to when you were a kid – what did you like to do?