Our Mommyhood

Posts Tagged ‘Stay At Home Dad’

Megan, Guest Writer, Twinsomnia

When my husband and I first found out we were going to have twins, we were so overcome by the excitement of it all that our brains stopped working.

That lasted for a few weeks.

After that, we emerged from twin shock and started to think logistics.  The first point being – how in the heck were we going to afford all of these kids?  And by kids, I mean the still-gestating twins and their already-existing 12 month old big sister.

When it comes to producing offspring, you can’t say we’re not overachievers.

At the time, my husband was running his own home remodeling business, and I was working a 9 to 5 (more like 8-7) gig as a junior associate at a big law firm.  We were doing just fine financially, so I had no worries that we’d be able to swing a couple of extra kids, no problemo.  But then I got out my calculator and multiplied the cost of Ashley’s weekly daycare by 3.  And then I proceeded to freak.

Good grief, the cost of 3 infants in daycare is astronomical!  If only my egg had known before spontaneously dividing into two separate babies, I’m sure it would have acted more responsibly.

But what was done was done.  So, I started researching alternatives.  We flirted with a home daycare for awhile, but frankly that wasn’t much cheaper.  We researched nannies, but just found the whole process overwhelming.  And then it hit us.

Maybe I should quit my job and stay home with the kids.

And then it hit us again.  Me quitting my job would be the most financially foolish thing we had ever done.  Even more so than that time we dropped a couple hundred dollars on a Roomba.

I didn’t want to believe it.  But you can’t argue with the facts.  I was a lawyer. I had job security.  I carried the health insurance.  I had student loan debt from law school that needed to be paid off.

And, I made more money.  And, if we were really trying to do what was best for the kids, we needed to think of our financial future.  And, even though we tried to dodge it, it hit us square on the nose this time.  Maybe my husband should give up his business and stay home with the kids instead.

I can’t say that the thought of it didn’t hurt.  Even with all the facts laid out nicely before me, a huge part of me was silently shouting “But I’m the moooooooooooom!  I’m supposed to stay home!  I want to stay home!”  But life doesn’t always work out the exact way we pictured it to be.

And for that, I’m grateful.  Because in these non-stereotypical roles my husband and I have taken on, we’ve challenged ourselves and grown more as individuals, as a couple and as a family than we ever would have if we’d gone down a more comfortably familiar path.  And at the end of the day, we’re pretty lucky that one of us is able to stay home with the kids at all, even if it can’t be me.

Plus, my husband rocks the stay-at-home-dad thing.  He might not always think so, but I do.  And I’m pretty sure our three kids agree with me