Our Mommyhood

Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Parents often think that they have to do everything by themselves. They think that they don’t deserve any help when trying to achieve a proper work life balance. There is a reason there are other people in your life. Some of them are anxious to help you succeed. The rest of this article will give you some tips on how you can get some help on your quest to get some balance back in your life.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

If you don’t learn anything else from this article, learn this point. There are only 24 hours in a day. Sometimes you have to ask for help to do the things you need to do. If you have to ask a friend or a family member to keep your kids for a few hours it is not the end of the world. Everyone in the family benefits when you have time to take care of yourself. If you have to ask for help to get a proper work life balance, then ask.

Assign some of the household chores to your kids

You can assign some age appropriate chores to your kids. This gives them some responsibility and helps clear your plate at the same time. Now I can’t tell you what to assign to which kid. You know your kids better than I do. It helps to have a chore chart so no one forgets what they are supposed to do. You may have to supervise the first few times they do the chore to make sure it is done correctly, but once they get it down, you can get some other stuff done while they take care of housework.

Hire professionals to take care of things you don’t like to do

Sometimes it may be necessary to hire a cleaning service. You may need a cleaning service to get your place ready for a party. You may need to have someone come in once a week to do major cleaning while you and your family just maintain everything during the week. If yard work is your hated task, you may need to hire someone to take care of your yard. This may sound expensive, but it is worth it to know you have freed that time you usually spend cleaning or taking care of the yard up for some family fun.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. If you really get in a bind, ask some of your friends for help. If you are trying to work from home, outsource some tasks to other professionals. Even if you are working on a job you can hire someone to do things that you are not good at or don’t want to do. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Rather it is a sign that you are smart enough to focus on things that you are good at and let someone else take care of the rest.

DeAnna Troupe contributes advice for Our Family World, a magazine for busy moms who need to find family balance.

By Nicole, Contributor, The Sleepy Time Gal

I remember the days before having children when I could take care of the cooking, baking and tidying quite swiftly and effortlessly.  As children came, I often fought the idea of making my two roles work together, that of homemaker and mother.

Now with four little ones at my feet and knees, and many things that need doing, I’m happily seeing the magic and necessity of combining the two roles daily.

With one day a week set in place for all of our family’s baking to be done, my children are accustomed to helping in the kitchen with the gathering, measuring, pouring and such.  But the most recent addition is for them to follow through with the process by cleaning up alongside Mama.

There are the coveted jobs like doing the hand washing and wiping down of tables and counters.  As long as a broom is visible, one of my 20 month-old twins picks it up and at least pushes items around on the floor. These motions are preparing her for her bigger roles in the household when she’s a little older.

I’ve noticed a pleased sense of accomplishment from my older children in being totally involved and trusted in many of the processes of keeping up a home. They experience the process of making, baking, cleaning and finally, with great anticipation, the tasting, after all of the hard work and efforts.  Aren’t these the lessons of life that matter most?

Nicole Shiffler is a mother to four young, active daughters. She loves creating with her children, creating for her children, and introducing them to the many beauties of life.  Her blog, The Sleepy Time Gal, is her attempt to capture those moments through her thoughts, photography, and creations.

By JJ Keith, Contributor, JJust Kidding (@jj_keith)

My mother likes to brag that she didn’t even have a stroller when her two eldest children were tiny. My sisters, two years apart, were taken everywhere simply hoisted under my mother’s arms. This raises so many questions: Could strollers have really been that expensive in the late 70s? How did she deal with my oldest sister, who would become a champion of track and field just a few years later, running off? Why didn’t my dad carry one of them?

Now I have two small children of my own, the eldest of whom is likely to be a champion of track and field in just a few years. I’ve spent some time picking apart the assertion that it’s possible to take two teeny kids out in public with no strollers or carriers or anyone else to help. Times have changed since the late 70s, much to the detriment of parents. Back then if a kid wandered off in the grocery store a kindly person would probably just help the stray find her parents, but today such a catastrophe would be remedied with a visit from either the police or CPS, and most certainly accompanied by an indignant lecture about the nearly averted abduction.

But more importantly, all my mom’s “ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways” stories of child-rearing conveniently overlook that her own mother lived just a half mile down the street from my family and my grandmother was a frequent and prodigious babysitter. I can’t personally attest to what my parents did before I was born, but I know that if I drove by grandma’s house on the way to the grocery store I’d always shop alone. It’s rough schlepping two children around, especially since one of them is drawn to busy streets like they were paved with molasses. It was tough taking out my semi-feral toddler when it was just her, but now that there are soft spots to protect and I’m hefting around two different sizes of diapers, the ballgame has changed.

Far from my mother’s (probably fictional) one-under-each-arm approach, I have a veritable armory of strollers and carriers to assist me in keeping my nutty kiddo out of the street. Sometimes I simply push them both in the double stroller, but when pressed by a tsunami of fussiness, I’ve resorted to carrying the toddler in an Ergo on my back and the newborn in a sling on my front. That’s 35 pounds of child and let me tell you, it’s not the kind of thing you want to do when you’ve recently spent nine months watching your ab muscles stretch and dissipate.

So now, pushed to my limit, I’ve succumbed to the leash.  Though leashes are seen by some as the ultimate symbol of excessively restrictive parenting, I’ve found the reality to be quite the opposite. It is the perfect compromise for a child who wants to run loose but constantly needs to be yanked out of the road. It is far less restrictive than strapping her into a stroller or carrying her and it has the added bonus of wearing her out. The glaring judgment of strangers is a small price to pay for the marriage of freedom and safety. Also, it’s shaped like a koala and is pretty cute. She loves it; she puts it on herself.

Still, I just might some day spin a yarn about how I hoisted her brother and her, one under each arm, and carried them around (barefoot in the snow and always uphill, natch). It makes a much better story than admitting she drove me bananas and I resorted to walking her on a leash.

JJ Keith is a stay-at-home parent to a prodigiously mischievous toddler daughter and a relatively subdued infant son. She sometimes works as a college writing instructor and periodically takes freelance writing jobs, but she spends most of her time trying to find a balance between respecting her childrens’ budding independence and enforcing the “no eating dog food” rule.

My mother likes to brag that she didn’t even have a stroller when her two eldest children were tiny. My sisters, two years apart, were taken everywhere simply hoisted under my mother’s arms. This raises so many questions. Could strollers have really been that expensive in the late 70s? How did she deal with my oldest sister, who would become a champion of track and field just a few years later, running off? Why didn't my dad carry one of them?

Now I have two small children of my own, the eldest of whom is likely to be a champion of track and field in just a few years. I've spent some time picking apart the assertion that it's possible to take two teeny kids out in public with no strollers or carriers or anyone else to help. Times have changed since the late 70s, much to the detriment of parents. Back then if a kid wandered off in the grocery store a kindly person would probably just help the stray find her parents, but today such a catastrophe would be remedied with a visit from either the police or CPS, and most certainly accompanied by an indignant lecture about the nearly averted abduction. 

But more importantly, all my mom's "ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways" stories of childrearing conveniently overlook that her own mother lived just a half mile down the street from my family and my grandmother was a frequent and prodigious babysitter. I can’t personally attest to what my parents did before I was born, but I know that if I drove by grandma’s house on the way to the grocery store I’d always shop alone. It’s rough schlepping two children around, especially since one of them is drawn to busy streets like they were paved with molasses. It was tough taking out my semi-feral toddler when it was just her, but now that there are soft spots to protect and I’m hefting around two different sizes of diapers, the ballgame has changed.

Far from my mother’s (probably fictional) one-under-each-arm approach, I have a veritable armory of strollers and carriers to assist me in keeping my nutty kiddo out of the street. Sometimes I simply push them both in the double stroller, but when pressed by a tsunami of fussiness, I’ve resorted to carrying the toddler in an Ergo on my back and the newborn in a sling on my front. That’s 35 pounds of child and let me tell you, it’s not the kind of thing you want to do when you’ve recently spent nine months watching your ab muscles stretch and dissipate. 

So now, pushed to my limit, I’ve succumbed to the leash.  Though leashes are seen by some as the ultimate symbol of excessively restrictive parenting, I’ve found the reality to be quite the opposite. It is the perfect compromise for a child who wants to run loose but constantly needs to be yanked out of the road. It is far less restrictive than strapping her into a stroller or carrying her and it has the added bonus of wearing her out. The glaring judgment of strangers is a small price to pay for the marriage of freedom and safety. Also, it’s shaped like a koala and is pretty cute. She loves it. She puts it on herself.

Still, I just might some day spin a yarn about how I hoisted her brother and her, one under each arm, and carried them around (barefoot in the snow and always uphill, natch). It makes a much better story than admitting she drove me bananas and I resorted to walking her on a leash.

By Mama M., Staff Writer, My Little Life (@5CrookedHalos)

As a “MOM” (no, not “Mother of Multiples”, but “Mother of Many”…hmmm, maybe we need to change that. Mother of Lots? Gobs? Oodles?) I learn a lot everyday. I never stop learning and while you’d think that I know a lot about parenting after all these years (read: kids), most of the time I’m fumbling through this “parenting” thing just like a first time parent.

By Mama Michie, Staff Writer, Mama Michie’s Musings (@MamaMichie)

When your children are as close together in age as mine are, you don’t get many chances to take a peaceful shower by yourself. Since my kids are on a one up/one down nap schedule and I can’t leave them unattended, it means that I usually have one, if not both of my children in the shower with me. It’s not all bad though; it means that I have two (or three) bodies cleaned in the same time that it would usually take me to clean one, well maybe just a little longer.

Noah was sick recently, and when he gets sick he tends to spike high fevers, like 103.5F – 104F! Since that was the case, he was given (lukewarm) baths more often than usual to help try to lower his temperature. Because of this, it came as no surprise to me when he requested a bath one morning a few days later, and naturally, I welcomed the chance to be able to shower with one less body in there with me later on.

I put Noah in our Master Bath tub since the kids bathroom is a bit torn up right now. I then sat myself down in the doorway between our bathroom and the Master bedroom, where Abby was trying to crawl around. It was the perfect place to be, since I could keep an eye on both kids at the same time. Noah was lifting his toys out of the water and telling me what they were; he may have been a late talker, but he sure is making up for that now!

Imagine my surprise then to see the next thing in his hand. He looks at me all innocent, while extending his little hand and saying “Mama this?!” Let’s just say what he held in his hand was brown and it was not chocolate! I quickly got him out of the tub while going over where we do and don’t go poopies.

Shortly after that I found myself once again in the shower, with two little bodies in there with me. Oh well, it was worth the try.

What unexpected or unwanted parenthood badges have you earned?