Posts Tagged ‘Newborns’

By Julia

Expecting my first child.  Excited, nervous, anxious, scared, overwhelmed. But I did what any first time mom would do.  Read everything.  From “What To Expect” to “Pregnancy Fit” magazine and every website in between.  I joined forums and online groups, getting advice, listening to others’ stories and coming up with my own realization of what mommyhood would be like and how to prepare.
 
(If only I knew…)
 
I had several recommendations to read a certain book (that gets a bad reputation) that deals greatly with getting your newborn on a schedule and most of all, understanding how a newborn’s body and mind operate.  And every person I talked to said it made a world of difference.  I started reading it a few weeks before Hannah was born, but didn’t get far. 
 
She was born. I was overwhelmed.
 
I remember sitting in the rocking chair at midnight one night, in tears, because I couldn’t get her to fall asleep.  I, myself, was beyond exhausted and while I handed my wailing newborn over to my husband, I still found myself deeply wanting to hold her and comfort her.  Afterall, I was now “Mom” and should somehow have all the baby directions memorized.  I wanted to be that mom.
 
I immediately finished reading that book the next day. 
 
I immediately began utilizing some of the concepts and ideas outlined in the book.
 
I immediately felt a sense of peace, control and sanity.
 
While I’m certainly not here to discuss the book, I will tell you some of the things I learned that I believe every parent should know and understand.  And by doing so, just might save your sanity.
 
One of the biggest things that helped me understand my newborn was knowing their bodies ability to stay awake (or lack thereof).  A newborn can usually only stay awake for 20-30 minutes. Knowing this helped me understand that when she was awake for an hour or (heaven forbid) two, I knew she was tired.  I could snuggle, rock, lay her down and know that sleep was what she needed.  As she got older, her wake time would slowly increase.  By 3 months, it was 45-60 minutes and by 6 months it was 90-120 minutes.
 
To go along with understanding her wake time, I had to understand her sleep needs.  We all know newborns sleep.  A lot. But did you realize that they sleep in cycles of (typically) 45 minutes? When an infant wakes up after 45 minutes of napping, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are done sleeping.  Many times the baby will cry, making the parent think that she’s had enough rest.  And while you can attend to your baby when they cry, I found that trying to get them back to sleep was really important.  Most infants need 2-3 hours of sleep at a time. And by rocking, snuggling or letting her fuss herself back to sleep you can “train” her to get back to sleep on her own when she does wake up at 45 minutes.
 
The other aspect to a new baby is the feedings.  Oh, the feedings.  Now, I’m gonna lay this out there… I was not a feed-on-demand parent. Everytime my newborn cried, whimpered, fussed or cooed, I did not nurse her.  If I had just fed her at noon, put her down for a nap and she is up crying at 12:45, I did not feed her.  An infant’s stomach is only the size of a marble.  A marble.  How in the world could I put more in there?  And with many babies already having gastrointestinal issues (my daughter had lots of gas), I wasn’t about to upset it anymore with more milk.  I typically kept an eye on the clock for a 3 hour feeding schedule.  If after 2 hours, she was awake, fussing and her cues were pointing to hunger, then yes, I would absolutely feed her.  I think many parents (especially people who criticize this book) think that we (I) are depriving our child of milk solely for the sake of schedule.  And of course, that is absolutely not true. 
 
When you put everything together and understand wake times, sleep times and feedings, it creates a natural “schedule”. One that saved my sanity, allowed me to keep track of my newborn’s activities and also helped me better plan my days.  Most newborns typically fall in a 3-hour schedule. Nursing for 20 minutes, staying awake for another 20 minutes, then sleeping for approximately 2 hours. As they get older, the wake time extends, but the sleep time stays relatively the same.  How does that happen? Well, around 4-6 months babies can typically go longer between feedings. So by that point, they are now nursing, staying awake for 60 minutes, then napping for 2.5 hours.  That equals a 4 hour cycle.
 
As we all know, some days are bad and some days are good. In fact, I was just talking a friend the other night about her 8 week old and how her little girl naps well for 3 days in a row, then has 1 bad day of poor naps.
 
It’s ok.  It’s ok if you have to feed your baby before the 3 hour cycle. It’s ok if your baby wakes up early.  It’s ok if you have to wake her up to go to a doctor appointment.  It’s OK. 
 
But having a general schedule really helped me understand my babies needs.  So when she wasn’t napping well, I didn’t freak out, nursing her every 30 minutes wondering if she was hungry. It allowed me to rest while she rested, get stuff done around the house and enjoy her time awake.

What were your coping strategies when your children were babies?

 

With 2 toddlers attached to her hip and hair thrown in a ponytail on an almost daily basis, Julia blogs at Work, Wife, Mom… Life. She’s a full-time working mom who tries to balance it all with her faith holding her together.

By Michaela

Dear Abby,

I can’t help but giggle a little as I write that, partly because you are here with us already and also partly because those two words were written by so many people seeking advice from a woman they didn’t know… but that was before your time and maybe one day I will tell you more about it.

Oh Abby, you came to us in a hurry a few weeks ago… but then again everything about you has been that way. We weren’t planning on getting pregnant with you when we did, but you wanted to be a part of our family and BAM! you let us know that we had to get ready for you. Your birth was much the same way… you weren’t supposed to enter this world until four weeks later, but you had other plans (did you want to be there for your daddy’s birthday?). Once you decided you wanted to come out, you made sure that it happened… and happened quickly, almost too quickly!

You stole all of our hearts the minute you were born. Your brother… I was so afraid of how he would react to you, but I shouldn’t have been… your brother is your biggest fan. He showers you with kisses all day long. I hope you know just how much he adores you!

You have both your daddy and me wrapped around your skinny little fingers. I find myself holding you and just staring at your little face and breathing your milky breath (I had forgotten how much I missed milky baby’s breath!). You are such a noisy little thing… always grunting or squeaking… and it makes me laugh listening to you because you sometimes sound like a squeaky toy for a dog. You also like to make the most unladylike noises, which makes your daddy cringe and then laugh and say… “She’s just like her mommy!!”

You’ve changed so much these past few weeks. You’re gaining weight and no longer look as wrinkly as you did when you were born (your daddy went as far as to say that you looked like a wrinkly old woman… and I hate to admit it but you did! That’s one of the drawbacks of being born so small and skinny). You open your eyes more now and when you do it seems like you are really looking at us. I then wonder if those navy blue eyes will turn brown like mine, hazel like your daddy’s or piercing blue like your brother’s eyes (I’m hoping they stay blue!!).

Abby, my little squeaker… I am so happy that you are here with us!!! Just do me one favor… slow down and stop wanting to do everything so quickly!!

I love you,

Your Mama

Share the story of your child’s birth with us!

Michaela is a student, a wife and the mama of a rambunctious toddler and a newborn. She posts regularly at her blog Mama Michie’s Musings, where she writes about her family, her life and her inability to be more like June Cleaver!