Our Mommyhood

Posts Tagged ‘lessons learned’

Elizabeth, Guest Poster

The eyes of every parent in the place were on me. They were staring me down, glaring at me, for subjecting my child to the ultimate danger: a deep, dark swimming pool.

The way they were looking at me, you’d have thought I was letting my daughter leap into a bottomless pit. Yes, I know she’s only 22 months old, thankyouverymuch. Yes, I know she’s not wearing water wings. Chill.

My husband was treading in the water below, patiently waiting for our almost-two-year-old to make this monumental leap of faith. My child’s a fish; she smiled the first time we gave her a sponge bath in NICU, started taking swim lessons at the local Y at six months old, and proudly blew bubbles in the big kid pool just last week. So when she asked me if she could go off the diving board like the “big kids”, how could I say no?

That’s the thing about raising self-confident kids. You have to let them try things, even if it terrifies you (and all the judgmental parents around you). You have to let them make their own mistakes.

For instance, when my daughter was only 18 months old, she wanted desperately to wear the Dora The Explorer underwear I’d bought for her. She wasn’t anywhere near ready to potty train, but she was insistent that if I let her wear the underwear, she would be able to make it to the toilet on time. She didn’t– in fact, in just one day, she peed on my couch, her car seat, and the kitchen floor– but the more important part of this story is, she tried.

A few weeks ago, DH & I took her to a Mexican restaurant. While we were eating the spicy salsa (free chips, yum!), she decided she had to try whatever mommy and daddy were eating. I knew the salsa was too intense for her. DH knew the salsa was too intense for her. But we handed the salsa over, and let her try it out for herself. She nearly gagged, and gave us both a look that said, “What were you guys thinking????” But, again, she tried it.

Life is one long lesson; we’re always learning something. Whether it’s mastering a new skill (like multiplication tables) or practicing a new talent (like ballet), life is a comedy of errors. It’s learning by trying, and yes, by failing. I truly believe that in order to raise a self-confident, independent, courageous child, you have to give them the room to– literally– jump.

So back to that diving board. I watched as she curled her ten little toes– the ones I proudly counted on the day of her birth, noting the perfection of each one– around the edge of that long plank. She looked down at her daddy in the water, then back at me, studying us for any sign of apprehension. I nodded at her, smiled bravely, and gestured for her to jump. Then, my baby counted to three– “wahhhh, tooooo, freeeeeee”– and leapt.

Jump baby, jump.

Elizabeth is a content writer for Online Schools who gives advice on the pursuit of education and living a healthy life. In her free time, she enjoys chasing her daughter around the house non-stop, while trying to launch her blogging empire simultaneously.

By Toni, Contributor, Hemp and High Heels (@ToniSue)

Silly, silly me. After having moved out of my parents house and lived on my own for thirteen years, nine of those being in houses that were rented/military homes, I thought I knew exactly what I did and didn’t want in my first house. In that amount of time, I had lived in four apartments, and six houses. I had seen the good, the bad, the ugly and taken detailed notes along the way.

When it came time to buy our first house, I would not make the foolish mistakes you always hear first-time home owners making. I was careful to get a set interest rate, a safe neighborhood, good school district. So, what did I do wrong?

Everything else.

I took the first house that was just “ok”. It didn’t have everything on my wish list. (In truth, it had very little on my wish list) While it may not have made my heart sing, there was nothing wrong with it. It was a new- build, with a warranty, in a quiet neighborhood.

Sold.

Here’s the thing about “just ok” houses. They can turn into “How soon can we sell this house?” really quickly.

The one thing I wish someone would have told me is to slow down. Hold out for a little more “OOO!” and little less “Ehh…”. There is absolutely wrong with my house. The problem is that I call it a “house”. Not HOME.

When making a purchase in something so important, you want to make sure that not only is it a financially sound choice, but it needs to also make your heart skip a beat in a good way. You should love your home. Want to be there. Want to fix it up to show off it’s beauty, not to make it so you sorta like it.

Your home should equal love. It should reflect you. My house is like a vanilla cone. Nothing wrong with it. It will quench an ice cream craving. But, does it make my heart happy? Not at all. I would have much preferred a Cherry Garcia with whip cream and cherry on top. Vanilla pales in comparison.

The moral of the story? It’s a very exciting time, when you purchase your first home. Don’t let that excitement get in the way of common sense, and don’t forget that this is something you might have to live with for the rest of your life. Give it more thought than you do when ordering dessert.