Our Mommyhood

Posts Tagged ‘Infertility’

By Cheri, Guest Writer

Hello, My name is Cheri from Its So Very Cheri.

Come along on our journey of infertility, a search for something that would work to make us go from a couple, to a family. If you need to catch up, click Part 2. You can get to part one from there.

Continued from:

The night before my scheduled DNC, my girlfriend, the nurse, called. She didn’t want to tell me what to do but wanted to let me know from a medical standpoint and from a friend’s viewpoint what was going on. She had been struggling with whether she should call all week, and I had been struggling with calling her and bothering her. It was the call I needed. I was fragile and very confused at this point. All I could think was “how could I take my baby’s life, if it only had a 1% chance of making it, I had to give it a fighting chance”.

As I talked with my girlfriend, I was able to get some of my questions answered. She had worked in an OB/GYN office while going through nursing school. She asked if she could call one of the nurses from that office and have her call me since she was more up-to-date (my friend was a surgical nurse at the time) on all of that info. God had placed my friend, Tammy, in my life for several specific reasons and this was just one of them. I will be forever grateful.

The phone rang and it was Paula, the nurse. She was wonderful, compassionate, and answered every single question I had. We were on the phone for about an hour and a half. What a precious blessing that lady was.

I got off the phone and went over all the information with my husband. For the first time we were able to make some decisions and talk about options, based on concrete medical advice. It was late, so we headed to bed.

The next morning we got up. This was the day I was to go in for the DNC. We talked a little more and called my doctor’s office to talk with the Dr, who I was told was not available. I explained that I was cancelling the DNC.

The next call I made was to Paula. I asked her if we could set up an appointment for a second opinion. I knew the chances of getting in might be weeks away, but I figured time was on my side. If we lost the baby I could call back to see what I needed to do, and if not, I would go at the first available appointment. Paula told me she had already taken the liberty of speaking with one of their doctors and he told her if I would like to come in THAT DAY he had a few hours and he would block off time for us. When does that happen?

As soon as I hung up the phone, our phone was ringing. It was the first Dr’s office and the Dr. was instantly available to tell me “You were never pregnant. There is no reason for a 2nd opinion. You need this DNC. It is ridiculous to cancel this appointment”.

Until next time….

By Cheri

Interested in being a guest blogger on “Our Mommyhood”? Email us and let us know!

Hello, My name is Cheri from ItsSoVeryCheri. Come along, on our journey of infertility, a search for something that would work to make us go from a couple, to a family. If you need to catch up click

HERE

to read PART 1.

continued from…

The horrible realization came flooding in-I was bleeding. Was I going to
loose this baby that we wanted so much? This little baby that I was
already in love with. Would I be able to tell this little baby how much
I loved him/her?

I called for my husband and told him what was going on. I could tell I
was going into shock. I was cold and shaking uncontrollably. I laid down
on the floor and got my feet up on the bath tub while my husband called
and left a message with my Dr’s answering service.

My Dr was out of town, so one of his female partners called back and told
us she would meet us at a specific hospital, even though we told her it
was not on our insurance plan. Regardless that is where she needed us to
go, so we went.

We waited and waited. She never arrived. The hospital was verifying with
my husband, making sure we had come to the correct hospital. They called
the Dr and she had gone back to bed and fell asleep. She asked that they
have one of the ER Drs check me and then let me know I would need to be
in their office the next morning.

We were told that we had not lost the baby, by the ER Dr. but the Dr who
had sent us there would meet us in the office the next morning. Other than
that, we were given no additional answers to our questions. I was also
told to drink lots of water for the sonogram, the next morning.

We arrived the next morning and another of my Drs partners meet with us.
We figured the other one was too embarrassed to meet us. We had a
sonogram and saw our baby on the screen. tiny but still there, fighting.
We were more hopeful. The Dr came back in and said my blood
work from the night before did not look good, my numbers were a little
lower than they would like and she thought it was best to schedule a DNC
for the end of the week.

My head was spinning. My baby was still alive and they wanted to end it
just because it didn’t look promising. What was I to do-follow my Drs
office instructions or fight.

We walked out of the office with an appointment for the end of the week.
We talked in the car about other options.

A girlfriend, who is a nurse, would have been my first call, for a
friend’s opinion, who was also familiar with medical practices, but her
parents had just sold their home and were moving into her family’s home
while they had a house built. I knew she was busy, TOO busy for my call.

I called the Dr’s office trying to ask questions and get more info, so we
could make a wise, informed decision but I was treated like I should not
question them. I wondered if my Dr realized how they treated people
while he was not in the office.

One night my husband laid his head on my stomach and began talking to our
baby, telling him/her to fight and how much we loved him/her.

I was off work and instructed to stay off my feet. It was hard to watch
TV. Every commercial seemed to be a baby or toddler product or a
pregnancy commercial. It was equally difficult to just rest, with nothing
to keep my mind occupied, my mind could only process what was going on and go over all the WHAT IFs.

The night before my scheduled DNC, my girlfriend-the nurse called. She
didn’t want to tell me what to do but wanted to let me know from a medical
standpoint and from a friends viewpoint what was going on. She had been
struggling with whether she should call all week, and I had been
struggling with calling her and bothering her. It was the call I needed.
I was fragile and very confused, at this point. All I could think was
“how could I take my babies life, if it only had a 1% chance of making it,
I had to give it a fighting chance”.

Until next time…..

By Cheri

Interested in being a guest blogger on “Our Mommyhood”? Email us and let us know!

Empty Arms, Broken Hearts, Hope, Despair, Prayer, More prayer and a life of blessings.

Hello, My name is Cheri from ItsSoVeryCheri. Come along, on our journey of infertility, a search for something that would work to make usgo from a couple, to a family.

As I walked down the aisle toward my Prince Charming, I had a heart full of hope for our future. We didn’t know what twists and turns life would take us on but we knew we could make it through anything with God by oursides.

I am a planner. I had planned every detail of our wedding, I designed myown wedding dress, I sewed thousands of beads and sequins by hand, onto mydress….I planned it all out. That is what a planner does.

I am a planner and I have lists, not just on paper but I have plan A, B & C with subtitles, in my head & if anything goes wrong, I know what to do, to jump into action to rectify the situation. Prince Charming used to be very relaxed, no plans. Vacations, for him, were decide whereto go and you can decide each day what you want to do. Me, on the otherhand would research events, looking at which days would be best by location and events. We both have come a little more to the middle but Iam still very much a planner and Prince Charming is very much a FRANKLIN PLANNER guy, now.

Things were going well. We had the house and our careers. We had been married a couple of years, when we decided to begin our family.

A few months had gone by and nothing.

I began doing some research and was taking my temperature and keeping records every day. A year had gone by and nothing. The fear of having a doctor tell me I would never have a child was more than I could bear. I began reading more and mapping out a 6 month PLAN. I decided to give myself 6 more months–6 more months of taking my temperature, timing,praying, hoping….for 6 more months. If nothing happened after 6 more months, I would schedule an appointment with a fertility doctor. For aplanner–this is soooo difficult. You can not fix this situation, you cantry things but nothing is concrete.

5 months into my 6 month PLAN, I was pregnant. I called my doctors office but they couldn’t get me in for 3 more weeks. Prince Charming was out oftown. My girlfriend went with me to pick him up at the airport and Istood with a sign as he came off the airplane that said “WELCOME HOME DADDY”. It took a little while for it to sink in.

We were thrilled. We told our parents. Everyone was excited.

2 weeks later, I woke up in the middle of the night, in terrible pain. I was half asleep and was dozing in and out. I finally woke up enough, from the horrible pain and walked into my bathroom. The horrible realization came flooding in- I was bleeding. Was I going to lose this baby that we wanted so much? This little baby that I was already in love with. Would I be able to tell this little baby how much I loved him/her?

Until next time…..