Our Mommyhood

Posts Tagged ‘Breastfeeding’

By Kristin, Editor, Taming Insanity (@taminginsanity )

I never thought I’d be comfortable taking my boobs out in public.

Even at Mardi Gras type events I was not one to lift my shirt. It’s not just that I’m a prude. My boobs are normally the size of small planets. They have their own gravitational pull as evidenced by the amount of stuff I find in my bra when I take it off. Whipping them out regularly, even for beads, is not a fun experience. It’s an ordeal.

Cut to pregnancy. They were no longer SMALL planets. They were large enough to house sentient life forms. And eventually I had to feed people with them. So, given the hugeness of them, the pain, and my innate insecurity about them, I was not a fan of nursing in front of an audience. I hid myself in corners and retreated to bedrooms whenever possible.

But, life as a mother doesn’t really care about your insecurities. I soon found myself in situations where I needed to feed a screaming baby. I covered up and took the plunge. Ultimately, I figure people would rather have me discreetly care for my child than hear a baby cry. Plus, my child needed to be fed.

And the world just kept on spinning.

Full disclosure: when I started nursing, I told myself that if it wasn’t working, I’d stop. I felt no guilt about the idea of not breastfeeding. However, I am lazy and cheap. I did not want to pay for formula or wash bottles.
All the amazing benefits of breastfeeding were great but we had a little bit of a false start with it. If it hadn’t been for my laziness and frugal nature I probably would have quit. I have never been strongly on one side of this issue or the other. I’m pro-choice when it comes to formula.

As motherhood and nursing progressed, I became increasingly comfortable with my body. With the beauty of what I could do. With the hours of bottle washing it saved me. With simplicity. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

I found however, that not everyone shared my opinion. Some people squirmed in their chairs when I even mentioned breastfeeding. Recently, Modern Family’s Julie Bowen tried to share a photo of her breastfeeding her twin boys on the talk show The View. She was denied the right to do so as the photo shared too much nudity.

When I heard this, I was confused. It’s a talk show for women – have these women not seen boobs before? I didn’t really get what all the fuss was about. The photo was not lurid at all in my eyes.

The article I read in The New York Post said this about why The View has tackled more controversial topics than this in their day. It seemed odd to me to shy away on this topic but again I don’t work in television.

Really, I’m starting to think the breast vs. bottle controvery isn’t about what’s best for baby and mom. I think it’s mostly about boobs. I think America may be afraid of them. But only when a human is using them to live.

Or when they have their own gravitational pull. Whichever.

So what do you think? Is it a big deal to see someone nursing?

By Julia

You’re weeks away from giving birth. You’re counting down the day til your beloved maternity leave; when you can be home and relax and spend wonderful, beautiful, peaceful hours with your sweet new babe.

Crying, screaming, feedings, wakings, spit-ups, throw-ups, diapers, bibs, more crying, a little sleeping, an outting once a week and before you know it… POOF! Your maternity leave is over.

Oh, the day you go back to work. That dreaded day. And while your leave wasn’t nearly as stress-free as you hoped, it certainly beat being at work.

Most first time moms fear going back to work. A deadly fear. A fear that no one else on the face of the planet has ever watched a baby before and would therefore not know how to take care of your child. And this is especially tough if you’re an OCD-Mom like me. Strict napping times, precise feedings, and heaven forbid, don’t forget tummy time!

So, when the thought of leaving your baby with Grandma (she’s so old-school), your sister (she’s not even a Mom!), a day care provider (too many germs), or (gasp) your husband, you get shivers up and down your spine.

But life after maternity leave can go smoothly. As a full-time working mom who’s done it – twice – I survived in one piece.

1.) Don’t Call 10 Times A Day.
Or even five. Or three. If your babysitter (spouse, sister, Mom, day care) needed something from you, they will call. Besides, calling every hour only makes you more of a wreck:

10am phone call: “What? She only slept for 45 minutes? She never does that! Ohmygosh, she’s going to be so crabby. Did you rock her? Sing to her? She must sleep!”

11am phone call: “Did you feed her yet? Well, yes, you should’ve fed her early, she woke up early! (rolling the eyes) She’s probably starving, poor girl!”

1pm phone call: “Why is she crying? Did she poop yet? She’s probably constipated. Are you supposed to give a 3 month old prune juice for constipation? Did you swaddler her correctly at naptime? That’s probably why she woke up early. Oh dear, it’s 1:00. She should be in bed!!”

Yes, admit it, you’ve done that before. Take a deep breath and let the caregiver do the caregiving. Calling every 15 minutes will only make you call more and more and more. I learned quickly that if I went the entire day without knowing that my daughter only napped for 45 minutes when it should’ve been 2 hours, I was much more calm. It’s not like you can up and leave work at every little mishap anyway, so just learn to realize that not every day is going to be a perfect day. But baby adjusts well.

2.) Go back to work when you’re ready!
I realize some of you don’t have much of a choice. With my first, I took 3.5 months off. It was perfect timing. My daughter was feeding well and sleeping through the night. With my second, I only planned on taking 8 weeks and thought that would be plenty. Boy, was I wrong!! My son was not nearly as good a sleeper so I spent many a time getting up at 4:30 to console/feed a crying baby and then have to turn around and go to work. It was exhausting. I definitely could’ve called my HR department and pushed my leave back a little longer. And next pregnancy, I will definitely shoot for at least 3 months!

3.) Use your break time usefully.
Especially if you’re still getting up in the middle of the night. Find a break room, sneak out to your car, or close the door to your office and catch some shut eye. You’ll feel refreshed and better about getting through the rest of the day.

4.) Have a pump schedule (and room!) ready (if you’re breastfeeding).
When I first started pumping for my daughter, I was in a women’s exercise locker room. I felt exposed and embarassed. Ladies walking in and out and while most of them were probably moms themselves, I was a new mom. This wasn’t natural for me yet. With my son, I was able to get a key to a rarely used room and put a sign on the front that said, “Room in use. Do not enter.” I also pumped at the same time every day that I would normally nurse my baby. It wasn’t exact because, you know, meetings run late and unexpected things come up. But for the most part, I stuck to the schedule. And honestly, I hated pumping. I begrudgingly trudged down to that room 2-3 times a day. But in the end, I was glad I did. (I had over 700 ounces of frozen breast milk stocked in our freezer!!)

If you’re not nursing, Still take 10-15 minutes (perhaps at her normal feeding time) to relax, read a chapter in a book or an article in a magazine and get your mind off things. Or, if you know it won’t make you miss her too much, show off pictures of your new bundle to all your doting do-workers.

5.) Enjoy your time at home.
If you can, avoid bringing work home. It will make actually being at work, more miserable because you will feel like you can’t get away. When you get home, enjoy time with your baby, and your spouse. Play on the floor, read the same book over and over, stack blocks so she can keep knocking them down. Those are truly the moments you will enjoy. If you’re always doing work-related stuff, work will be a drag.

Remember, you can survive life after maternity leave. In fact, as your babe grows older, you will have precious moments that make going to work (and coming home) so enjoyable. My 2 year old daughter would look out the front window and yell, “Bye Mommy! Love you!” while giving me the sign for I love you. Melted my heart and made me smile the entire way to work. And those, my dear friends, are moments you will never forget.

With 2 toddlers attached to her hip and hair thrown in a ponytail on an almost daily basis, Julia blogs at Work, Wife, Mom… Life. She’s a full-time working mom who tries to balance it all with her faith holding her together.