Our Mommyhood

Posts Tagged ‘baby’

By Sarah, Guest Writer, Miss CapaTosta

There is something I find absolutely obnoxious about the way mothers refer to their childrens’ ages in weeks and months when it is not logically appropriate to those who do not have children.  You know the conversation; it goes something like this:

You remark: “What a precious little girl!  How old is she?”

New Mom exclaims: “She’ll be 15 weeks on Monday.”

I think: What?  I’m not going to do that math.  Just tell me how old your kid is.  I don’t really care how many weeks your child has been out of your womb.  I was trying to make small talk; why do you have to make this difficult?

Why can’t New Mom say, “She’s 3 months old”?

Or even better…

You remark: “Wow, your little boy has a lot of energy!  How old is he?”

New Mom states:  “He just turned 21 months old last Thursday.”

I think:  Huh?  Why can’t new mom say, “He’s almost two”?

Yes, I get it.  Doctors refer to ages in weeks and then months for an incredibly long period of time—I guess it starts with the whole, “I’m 26 weeks pregnant thing.”, but come on.  Give it up!  Your kid is months old now—stop referring to her age in weeks.  And after his first birthday, you can give up the months and stick with years!

I know I have some bizarre pet peeves, but does this irritate anyone else or am I just exceptionally touchy?

By Shandal, Contributor, My Life In 3D, (@Shandal)

I think many moms who have daughters have the same inner dialogue with themselves as I have had recently.

“I wonder when it would be appropriate to pierce my baby girl’s ears?”

My only daughter is 1 1/2. Quite frankly, I think my little drama queen would FREAK OUT from the pain! I know she would eventually calm down, but would she understand what’s going on?

Will she think that I’m a mean mama for making someone hurt her?

I need to ask myself if I would I really be doing this for her or me.

After much debate, I’ve come to the conclusion that I would want it for myself because I think it would look pretty; it’s not like my daughter has any idea what earrings even are!  I’ve decided that I won’t have her ears pierced until she asks for that herself. That way my daughter knows what’s going on, and knows that it was her choice to have the pain involved with the piercings.

So, what are your thoughts on this controversial topic?  Do you think it’s selfish for a parent to make that decision for their baby, or completely reasonable?

Maureen, Guest Writer, Tatter Scoops (@tatterscoops)

As a mixed couple coming from two very different cultures, my husband and I already knew we’d be facing some minor adjustments after we got married. But nothing really prepared me for the different motherhood ‘wisdoms’ my country held for me and our son.

Since the day my family in Indonesia learned about my pregnancy, my Mom started telling me the dos and the don’ts. From what food to avoids to what foods to chomp down on veraciously. I never knew those bland tasting mung beans were supposed to make my baby’s hair thick and after two servings, I gave up on them!

At the time, we were still living in that small town of Dothan tucked in Alabama, so it was a bit easier to tune out some of this advice since it was given over the phone, from the other side of the globe. So I still drank cold water or cold ice-teas which according to the myth might make my baby too big – it was summer time for God’s sake! And I didn’t strap my post-baby stomach tightly with a girdle-wrapper-like-fabric many Indonesian moms had to wear because I had a c-section and even if I didn’t, it would be too much of a torture.

Indonesian Girdle

Imagine the horror on my husband’s face if I had followed one of the old wives tales to put scissors under the crib’s mattress to chase away evil spirits? Even worse, the scissors are supposed to go under the baby pillow!

Don’t get me wrong, not all of the advice is bad. Some is actually really good such as the one about the ‘telon oil’ (mixture of cajaput oil, fennel essential oil, and coconut oil). It’s supposed to warm babies and children and widely use amongst Indonesian moms.  We tried a few drops of this wonderful smelling oil and rub it on my son’s chest and tummy every night after bath time. Maybe it’s the oil or maybe pure luck but we never had any gas problem with him.

There were also the traditional ‘jamu’ (traditional medicines) for new mothers that my husband actually got for me. I don’t usually drink them but since he went out of his way and ordered me a box set of them, I swallowed! I’m not sure if they really work or not but I had a very fast recovery from my c-section.

Since we pretty much raise our son as a team being far from both sides of the family, I’m more Americanized and rely on either our pediatrician or my mommyhood bible (aka The What to Expect books) when it comes to how I handle our son. Some of my relatives find this wrong but after awhile my mother accepted my ways of doing things.

The first time we went home for a visit, my aunt called me mean mommy when she saw Lil’ A at his night time feeding – yes, he was still sitting up around the age of 9 months drinking his bottle. Most babies here will drink from their bottles lying down, which is something we never do. So even at 9 months old, Lil’ A was used to sitting up and drink away happily even if he’s tired.

Indonesians are more open to giving out unsolicited mothering advice and sometimes it still annoys me. Although I appreciate their good thoughts behind it, when you’re being bombarded with it and being criticized that you’re not doing it the right way, it can really get to you.

Raising a child with two influential cultures can really get interesting and I have learned to pick out what suits us best and ditch the rest.

by Brook, Contributor, Baby & Sofia (@babyandsofia)

I come from a family of swimmers.  My husband comes from a family of swimmers. We have both grown up living on the coast, where swimming at the beach, at the pool, at the lake, and, well, any body of water, really, is the absolute favorite form recreational activity.  Our mothers took us swimming before we could walk.  So, naturally, I have done the same with our baby boy.  And, luckily, Paolo loves the water.  Bath time is his favorite; he splashes and giggles and kicks and squeals in the tub.  He loves the ocean, the pool, and the lake.  Even when the water feels icily cold to me, he loves it.

What he does not love, however, is water on his face. In. Any. Form.  When I wash off his face in the morning with a warm washcloth, the baby behaves as if I am actively torturing him.  When I wash his hair, any droplets from the rinsing action will send him into a tizzy.  Forget the shower.  He screams at the shower, even if it is only a foot that is under the running water.  As a water-lover, you can imagine my concern.

I decided to nip this little problem in the bud by enrolling us in a Mommy & Me swim class at the local pool.  Maybe with the help of a professional, Paolo will learn to “blow motorboats” and quit freaking out over the occasional splash of water in the vicinity of his face.  I was super excited for Paolo’s first “swim lessons.” I mean, I didn’t plan to have him submerge his entire noggin, just learn to tolerate water on his face.

So off we went, to our 9:30am swim lesson.  There were two other mommy and child pairs, both other children were 2 years old.  And they didn’t seem to love the water as much as my little one, who is still only 9 months old.  So I was feeling pretty confident that we were off to a great start.  The instructor was sweet, and she came armed with a basket of water toys and an arsenal of songs to sing that encouraged water play.  Paolo loved it; he splashed and played and laughed.  At least on the first day.  On the second day, we continued on, singing and playing. I was loving it.  (Well, except the freezing pool water.  This hot Midwest summer wasn’t doing much to warm up the pool!)

By the third day, Paolo was a little more apprehensive of the water games, as he had figured out that they all involved a little splashing.  We tried to “motorboat.” Hah!  He hated it.  The fourth and fifth days went about the same, with Paolo resisting the play and just wanting to cuddle me. (I know, I didn’t think it was possible, but you can cuddle your baby while holding him with you in the water.)

The swim lesson was fun for me, as I was introduced to a few other moms. Being new to the area, we haven’t really met anyone yet, so it was nice to meet other women in the community.  Paolo, however, did not really benefit from the class. He still refuses to let water flow anywhere near his face.  I didn’t force the “motorboat-ing,” so he is not afraid of the pool, but he certainly did not gain any new confidence in the water.

While I wish we could have taught him to allow water near his head, I must say that I am okay with a certain amount of fear on his part.  Over-confidence can be very dangerous for babies and toddlers when it comes to water play.  And let’s face it, Paolo is only 9 months old, with plenty of time to learn to be comfortable in the water.  The Mommy & Me class was fun, but, I must say, we would have been just as happy with our regular trips to the pool, splashing around on our own.

Have you taken a Parent/Child swim class? What your experience?

By Shandal, Contributor, My Life In 3D, (@Shandal)

For any new mamas out there, I have two words for you… security blanket.

It may be a blanket, a bear or even a blanket that has a bear head stitched to the middle of it.  Both of my kids have blankets and they LOVE them!  They’ve been a life saver several times, especially when we travel, go to the doctor, and at bedtime.