Our Mommyhood

Posts Tagged ‘advice’

After my last soul searching post about starting out on my own, it was time to move on to part one of the journey.  Am I ready? 

As a business owner in the past, there were many lessons I learned along the way.  Time for those tough questions – (or more commonly known as the REALITY CHECK! )

 Do I have the time it takes to run a business?

Self employment doesn’t mean more free time.  When I started my first business, I thought it was going to relieve some of the stress of my corporate job.  Freedom and fun!  It was fun, but freedom it was not. 

True, I wasn’t tied to a desk all day, but I worked longer hours and more holidays than ever before.  No more paid vacations or sick time, not to mention there wasn’t anyone to take over when I was out. 

Do I have the resources to handle many job roles at one time?

Multi-tasking is key.  Not having resources to hire administrative help, I found myself wearing many hats.  Accountant, Billing, Customer Service, Manager, and sometimes even the Clean Up Crew – just to name a few of the roles.

Do I have a support network?

Family time and work time co-mingle at times.  It is important to have the support of family, many times I have relied on them to help when I was over committed.  Being self employed would be better labeled as – “family” employed”.  “No man is an island” and this become evidentlly clear when trying to run a business. 

Can I handle the stress?

Self employment doesn’t mean there isn’t stress, it is just different.  Financials, overwhelming work loads, market changes, inventory…..  all of this and more was on my mind.  I became more honest with myself.  When something didn’t go as planned or failed, I had to determine why and fix it.  No more trying to place blame elsewhere or wasting time focusing on the problem - solutions had to be found immediately.  

Do I have what it takes to be successful?

Determination, dedication and passion!  I believe these three things make the difference between successful entrepreneurs and those who “tried it once, but it didn’t work out”.  Commitment to my business and passion for what I was doing, kept me motivated.  Even on the bad days, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. 

The verdict is in – YES!  I can do this and now on to part 2 – PLANNING! 

This article on the 10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Starting a Business was very useful in this process.

 

Shannon Henrici – Entrepreneur, Creative Marketer, Brain Stormer Extraordinaire and MOM

By Kristi, Contributor, Live and Love… Out Loud (@tweetingmama)

When disasters like the devastating earthquake and tsunami that rocked Japan on March 11, 2011 unfold, the world comes to a standstill. Horrific scenes infiltrate our once peaceful lives; we become inundated with emotionally jarring images in the media and talk of tragedy fills the air.

Devastation of this magnitude is difficult to process even for adults, so it should come as no surprise that children often feel scared, confused and helpless as well. During times like these, our children crave reassurance, answers to their questions and a sense of feeling safe and secure. Talking them through these catastrophic events is key to providing them with the safe haven they so desperately want and need.

AP Photo/The Yomiuri Shimbun, Hiroaki Ohno

Talking With Your Children, The Basics

As a mother of 4 children ranging from toddler to teens, when it comes to fielding questions and engaging my children in conversation about catastrophic events, it’s important for me to tailor my responses according to their age and maturity level. But no matter your child’s age, there are a few basic elements that should be incorporated into your discussion, including:

Ask questions. In order to ascertain their feelings and their understanding of the event, ask your child what he might have seen or heard. Facts can often get lost in translation so this is the perfect time to clear up any misunderstandings he may have.

Acknowledge and encourage your child to share their feelings. It’s important for our children to know that no matter what they’re feeling in the wake of a disaster, those feelings make perfect sense and are totally normal. Create an open door policy in your home by encouraging your child to share his feelings.

Be honest. Though how much you divulge to your child is dependent on their age and maturity level, honesty is key. Keep in mind that there’s a thin line between being honest and saying too much. It’s important to take great care in sharing information with your child that isn’t overwhelming or scary.

AP Photo/The Yomiuri Shimbum, Miho Iketani

Talking With Young Children

When talking with young children about catastrophic events, take great care in the amount of information they share. Explaining the basics of natural disasters is a great place to start with children between the ages of 5-10. Use online resources or look for age-appropriate books at your local library that explain the science behind disasters like earthquakes and tsunamis. Talk about what happens during these events and the effect that it has on people.

In addition to discussing the basics behind natural disasters and its effect on people, reassure your child that she is safe. Explain that our buildings are safe and that our country is prepared for emergencies. Talk about the disaster kit you keep in your home and how the extra stores of water and food would help your family in the event of a natural disaster. Most importantly, emphasize that her safety is your number one priority and that the people she loves are there to protect her.

Above all, encourage your young child to talk about her feelings and to ask questions as well. Answer her questions honestly and in an age-appropriate manner that isn’t overwhelming or scary.

Talking With Tweens and Teens

Older children between the ages of 10-19 typically have a more intellectual grasp on the cause and effect of natural disasters. Because they have an understanding of the mechanics and science behind the earthquake and tsunami that devastated Japan, their questions and concerns usually focus on the reasoning behind these events. The “why”.

Explaining that we cannot control or predict when or where natural disasters occur and whom they affect can be difficult. Unfortunately as adults, we just don’t have all the answers and it’s okay to admit that. But it’s equally important to stress that though we don’t always have the answers to those questions and though mother nature is certainly unpredictable, we -tweens and teens included- are equipped to prepare for these events and to react accordingly should they happen.

Talking with your tweens and teens about the devastating effects that natural disasters have on people is also a perfect time to teach them valuable lessons like compassion, generosity and empathy. Encourage your older children to think of ways in which they can help from their own little corner of the world; perhaps by donating one week’s allowance or by organizing a fundraiser of some sort.

Encouraging Your Children To Continue Talking

Natural disasters are devastating, unpredictable and unfortunately, part of our lives. As parents we must create and maintain a safe haven for our children in the aftermath of catastrophic events. Calming their fears by asking questions, acknowledging their feelings and engaging in honest conversation is vital to restoring a sense of safety and well-being in our children’s lives.

Encourage your child to talk about the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan. Ask questions. Be honest. Acknowledge their feelings. And most importantly, hold them close.

Difficult as it may be, experts agree that it’s important to talk with children about catastrophic events like the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan. What tips do you have for parents who struggle with talking to their children about natural disasters?

Kristi is navigating her way through the triumphs and challenges of motherhood and marriage while living it up, loving out loud and laughing it off at Live and Love… Out Loud.

By Melissa, Contributor, Confessions of a Dr. Mom (@Melissa_DrMom)

Seriously, our 5 year old son lobbed this question to my husband and me the other day. We were left speechless; staring at each other hoping the other would tackle this one. After a few minutes of silence and our son showing no signs of leaving to go play, I started in and probably gave him more than he bargained for.

It got me thinking again about stranger safety and all the things we have taught him about strangers so far. A stranger is someone you don’t know. A stranger can be good or bad, there is no way to tell. You do not talk to strangers unless mom or dad is with you. You have your safe people (mom and dad) and those are the only people you ever go with.

These are some absolutes, but of course there are so many gray areas. What about his teacher, his soccer coach, his friend’s mom or dad, and the list goes on…like Santa.

These are people he kind of knows. People he knows about, people he may see on a daily basis, but they are not his safe side adults.

I like the term safe side adults. It gives young children some absolutes in this often murky area of stranger safety. Give your child 3 adults whom you consider safe. These are the only adults that your child is ever allowed to go anywhere with.

There is a DVD on stranger safety called The Safe Side. It is co-produced by John Walsh. This is an excellent informational and entertaining DVD for children ages 4-8. At first, I thought it was silly but then I saw the light bulb go off in my son’s head. He got it. He was able to categorize the adults in his life. I highly recommend this DVD.

Here are some key stranger safety concepts to reinforce in your child. You may need to alter some of these depending on your child’s age. We have introduced concepts in stages. First, at age 3 he could only grasp the concept of a stranger and that was about it. Around 4.5 years old, we started getting more specific:

- A stranger is someone you don’t know. They are “don’t knows”. These people are never safe to talk to or go with.
- A “kind of know” is a person that you know like your teacher or soccer coach but is not your “safe side” adult. You never go with a “kind of know” unless your mom or dad is present and gives their explicit permission.
- Make sure your child knows his address, phone number, and first and last name.
- Teach your child to stay with friends when at parks, school, or other activities. There really is safety in numbers.
-Teach your children that a stranger should never ask them for help. If they do, your child should back away and shout “NO” or “this is not my mom, this is not my dad!”
-Go over practice scenarios with your child. They really do work and this gives your child practice in using his loud voice.
-Teach your child to never leave a store should you get separated. Teach him to go to the checkout cashier to report you missing. Extremely important to tell him to NEVER leave the store looking for you. Remind him that you would never leave the store without him.

This is not the fun part of parenting. It’s the part that gives me knots in my stomach and I dread giving my children “what if” scenarios. However, it’s essential. Please don’t gloss over it.

So, how did we handle the Santa question? We said that yes, Santa is a stranger. If anyone were to approach him dressed as Santa and tried to sway him with the promise of gifts, he knows that sometimes “strangers” can dress up to look like Santa. Seriously, knots in my stomach just writing this, but I went on. Although we love it when Santa visits us on Christmas, he is a not a safe side adult.

I’m just thankful he didn’t ask why it’s okay that Santa slides down our chimney and enters our house while we’re sleeping. We would never let a stranger do that!

Have you discussed stranger safety with your child? Any tips or advice to add here?

Melissa is a part time pediatrician and full time mom of two. She candidly writes about her adventures in parenting on her blog, Confessions of a Dr.Mom

By Alicia, Guest Writer, A Beautiful Mess (@ProjectAlicia)

I often ask people if they scrapbook, both inside and outside of the blogging realm and 90% of the time the answer is no. Hold that thought for just a second.

We live in an interesting time; you can plug a memory stick or a card into almost any computer, drugstore, photo kiosk or download photo apps on your phone and edit your photos with a click of a button. Some even have fancy borders and text features or digital pages that you plug your photo into.

Truth be told, I’ve never considered myself much of a digital scrapbooker. Yet time and time again I’ll slap some photos on a page and people call it scrapbooking.

So, I ask again. Do you scrapbook? If you still say no I want you to consider the following items.

Do you:

Design Cards

Collages

Recipe Cards

Blog Headers

Pages

Double Pages

All of the Above

In my opinion digital scrapbooking is all of the above. The same techniques used to edit your photos are what digital scrapbooking is made up of; it can be as simple or elaborate as you want.

There are many free online editing or scrapbooking programs available that transform photos, make collages or even provide beautiful scrapbook pages or books such as:

• Picnik
• Photoscape
• Shutterfly
• Pixenate
• Splashup

If you want a little more Adobe Photoshop Elements is a great starting point for programs: user friendly, fairly inexpensive, with the capability of producing beautiful results with multiple layers for cards, collages or scrapbook pages.

Most of the pages above are templates or premade pages that I downloaded. This isn’t rocket science and I’m not a tech genius; if I can do this, anyone can.

So, I ask yet again: Do you scrapbook?

Do you have some scrapbooking techniques, or programs you use? Come by the Our Mommyhood forum and tell us about them.

By Signe, Staff Writer, My Baby Clothes Boutique

Are you planning to travel by air this holiday season?  ‘Tis the season for traveling with toddlers.  Whether your child is a born traveler or just  bored and complaining,  “Are we there yet?” before the journey even begins, here are ten tips for easing airline travel with little ones.

Arrive Early
Airports are crowded, weather delays flights and security lines are extra-long; airports are usually anything but cheery during the holiday season.  Do what you can to avoid the extra stress of missing a flight by allowing yourself plenty of time to arrive, park, check bags and stand in lines.