Our Mommyhood

Do you remember the first time someone called you a name? What about the first time your childhood friend told you that she didn’t want to be your friend anymore? These scenarios are very real in every child’s memories. They can shape or even destroy their future.

I just read the best article at the Business Insider, Getting Shouted at Makes You Work Harder, But Not Smarter. They researched a number of students and tried different methods for delivering the same message – one with anger and the other neutrally. Anger seemed to cause the students to think only in black and white and remain focused on the anger, it blocked all creativity in their problem solving.

I hope I am the kind of mother that passes on valuable wisdom to my daughters.

Want to feel sorry for yourself today? Sometimes I just have these feelings, no matter what I try to do to change it.

20 year reunion update from Signe. A therapist’s view on going to her high school reunion, dread turned into fun!

Celebrating the important moments in life, family. Seeking shelter in the storms of life.

Angels on earth? Do you believe? I have some good examples to make you think.

Dealing with toddler tempers and learning to control your own. Angry toddler vs. angry mom.

Let’s admit it. Dating before marriage was fun, exciting, and just plain fun!  When the honeymoon phase fizzles out after the wedding date, it’s easy to get sucked in to every day life and lose the fire that pulled us and our hubbies together.  Work, kids, chores, and millions of activities allow us to use [...]

By Betsy, Editor, Funky Mama Bird, (@funkymamabird) I love Mom’s Night Out. No. That’s not strong enough. Mom’s Night Out is my lifeline, my oxygen, my one and only chance to get out of the house some months. To put on lipstick and heels and feel like someone other than “Mama” for a few hours. [...]

By Julia Magnusson, Staff Writer, It’s Not Like a Cat (@notlikeacat) The plan was to run a winter half marathon, followed by a fall marathon, followed by an ultra in 2012. After all, I’d run a ton when Max was a baby; in fact, I dramatically increased my distances because I could never get him [...]

By JJ Keith, Staff Writer, JJust Kidding (@jj_keith) I was pretty shocked when my sister, who I always thought of as a seasoned mom, asked me for a diaper. Shouldn’t a mom of three remember to bring diapers? I mean jeez, what is the learning curve on this stuff? Back then, when my oldest was [...]

Lucinda Watrous, Staff Writer, My Baby Clothes Boutique Have a new baby in the home? Making your own baby food is a quick, easy and economical way to make sure your baby gets all the nutrition he or she needs. All you need is a selection of fruits or vegetables, some storage containers and something [...]

By Sarah, Contributor, The Stroller Ballet (@strollerballet) I find it particularly difficult to eat out with Peanut. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t. The “terrible twos” are nicknamed such for a reason. And I’m never totally sure when she’ll blow. Or over what. Pre-motherhood, I imagined myself as that woman who would take her toddler [...]

By Melissa, Contributor, Confessions of a Dr. Mom Toddlers and not napping are three words that never go well together. And yet, right around the ripe old age of two, many children start to put up quite the fight when it comes to naptime. Does this mean they don’t need a nap? Should I make [...]

By MommieV, Staff Writer, My Little Slice of Mommie Heaven, (@mommiev1) I find myself, as a busy single parent, complaining. A lot. Every cry in the middle of the night, I have to answer. I don’t have the benefit of waiting to see if the other parent also hears and wakes. I don’t have the [...]

By Honey B, Staff Writer, The Honey B, (@thehoneyb) The Mommy Club is an elite group, open only to those who willingly (or occasionally unwillingly) take on the task of raising a child. Membership Criteria A willingness to go through labor and delivery, or the excruciating process of adoption. A solemn vow to raise your [...]

By Betsy, Editor, Funky Mama Bird (@funkymamabird) Like a lot of parents of toddlers I know, we are in the thick of potty training just now. I don’t know how it’s going for the rest of you, but my kid is stubborn. Kid has a bladder of steel and will actually hold all of his [...]

By Mommie V, Staff Writer, My Little Slice of Mommie Heaven, (@mommiev1) I have always been a visual learner. In college, I could read an entire paragraph in a book and not understand it. Then I would look at the accompanying diagram or figure and presto, it made sense. When I started teaching college science, [...]

By Honey B, Staff Writer, The Honey B (@thehoneyb) A very popular line of conversation at work is of course kids. What are they doing these days, pictures, cute stories and in my case, are you going to hurry up and have one already? I’m honestly not sure what it is, but it really cracks [...]

By JJ Keith, Staff Writer, JJust Kidding (@jj_keith) Last week I swabbed the floors, hid the laundry, put out a bowl of fruit and hosted a play date at my house for other mothers of two kids two and under. One of the moms grew up abroad and has ample family and household help. She [...]

By KLZ, Guest Writer, Taming Insanity, (@taminginsanity) I married young. I met the man of my dreams and saw no point in dragging it out just to be “old enough” to get married. I had a child young. Our family didn’t seem complete without a baby and we made good money, so why wait? That [...]

By Melissa, Contributor, Confessions of a Dr. Mom (@melissa_drmom) Last month, my son came home with a letter from school: Lice have been discovered in your child’s classroom. Ugh. Welcome to kindergarten. It was bound to happen. Head lice are extremely common in school age children. Head to head contact and being in such close [...]

By Kristi, Contributor, Live and Love… Out Loud (@tweetingmama) Two years ago, I was completely confident in my decision to undergo a tubal ligation. As a matter of fact, the decision to do so was somewhat of a relief. Never mind that I was backed into a corner by fear and uncertainty. As far as [...]

By Signe, Staff Writer, My Baby Clothes Boutique As early as the pre-school years, children begin to form “theories” about how the world works, including feelings about people with differences and disabilities. Children’s theories develop through a combination of real-world experiences and information shared by trusted adults. As a parent, one of the best ways [...]

By Mommie V, Staff Writer, My Little Slice of Mommie Heaven (@mommieV1) This has been a tough winter. I live in an area that has dodged most of the winter snowfall, but it’s still been cold, gray and miserable. On top of that, it seems like everyone has The Sick. It came to our house, [...]

By JJ Keith, Staff Writer, JJust Kidding (@jj_keith) Early on in my stint as a mother, a friend presented the following parable: she knew one mom who swam Scrooge McDuck-like through a vault of cash, rolled with a “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” kind of crowd and had a staff of nannies and housekeepers at [...]

By Allison Gamble, Guest Writer With childhood depression and teen suicide at an all time high, you may feel like you need a psychology degree to coach your kids through their adolescence. However, just a few tips from the psychology field can go a long way. Psychology is the study of mind and behavior and [...]

By Kristi, Contributor, Live and Love… Out Loud (@TweetingMama) Preparing teens for the huge responsibility of driving can be an intimidating and nerve-wracking experience. As a former insurance professional, I spoke to teens at local high schools in my community about the importance of safe driving. It was an exciting opportunity and one that I [...]

By JJ Keith, Contributor, JJust Kidding (@jj_keith) My wildebeest of a two year old just clomped up to me wearing a pair of my boots and offered me an invisible “nack” out of the palm of her hand. Swoon. Part of what makes children such spectacular little creatures is the way in which they, as [...]

By Julia Magnusson, Staff Writer, It’s Not Like a Cat (@notlikeacat) You know that line in the Pink song “Sober,” the line that goes, “Please don’t tell me that we’ve had this conversation / ‘Cause I won’t remember—save your breath ‘cause what’s the use?” Today I was walking in the neighborhood with baby Ben in [...]

By Brook, Staff Writer, Baby and Sofia (@babyandsofia) This past month my baby and I passed a major milestone:  I stopped nursing him and have exclusively moved to cow’s milk.  I had read that weaning your baby could be a little challenging, a little emotional.  For me, though, it has been an enormous adjustment.  And [...]

By Kristi, Contributor, Live and Love…Out Loud (@TweetingMama) Breastfeeding is a journey. One that’s riddled with challenges, setbacks and at times, criticism. Early on in my pregnancy, I made a commitment to give breastfeeding a valiant effort. Twenty-one months later, what started out as a valiant effort has become what I consider one of my [...]

By Betsy, Editor, Funky Mama Bird (@funkymamabird) I got my first tattoo at the age of 17. A small Celtic rune that means love, I had it done in the Pit of Harvard Square while I napped on a bench. While I spent most of my 20s regretting it, I embrace it now as a [...]

By Mama M., Staff Writer, My Little Life (@5crookedhalos) There was a time in my life when I took menial things for granted. For example: Sleeping in a bed All. By. Myself. Alone, with nary a wee little knee, bony little elbow or over-sized head jammed into my back. Nights of uninterrupted sleep, when I didn’t have [...]

By JJ Keith, Contributor, JJust Kidding (@jj_keith) I worry that I’ve unfairly pigeonholed my “spirited” almost-two-year-old. I first began to doubt myself when her preschool teachers reported on her extraordinary helpfulness. “She’s like a waitress,” they said, “always delivering everyone their sippy cups.” “Really?” I said. “My kid?” And then I noticed the helpfulness at [...]

By Signe, Staff Writer, My Baby Clothes Boutique One of the greatest gifts my daughter received this year was a subscription to an online magazine – New Moon Girls Online. The mission of this magazine is to help young girls discover and honor their true selves. I first discovered New Moon Girls (and their sister [...]

By Melissa, Contributor, Confessions of a Dr. Mom (@Melissa_DrMom) During the winter when colds and the flu are in full swing, one of the most common questions I get from parents is, “What can I give my child for her cough?” Understandably, parents want to ease their child’s symptoms and help them sleep better. However, [...]

By Honey B, Staff Writer, The Honey B (@thehoneyb) It seems that considering becoming a parent can turn a woman into a dreamer. I’m not the brightest at times, but even I smile at some of the fantasies that we ‘Pre-Mommies’ indulge in. The most common are vowing to never allow your child to misbehave [...]

By Julia Magnusson, Staff Writer, It’s Not Like a Cat (@notlikeacat) As of this writing, I have run four times since my knee surgery. In fact, it’s like life is normal again;  I met my trail-running group last Sunday for a trail run, met my old running partner for a midweek three-miler and met my [...]

By Mama Michie, Staff Writer, Mama Michie’s Musings (@MamaMichie) Before the kids came along, Ray and I would have date nights almost every weekend. We almost always went out to eat on Friday nights and spent most Saturdays and Sundays either riding around on the Harley or just going out and doing something. While I [...]

By JJ Keith, Contributor, JJust Kidding (@jj_keith) My mother likes to brag that she didn’t even have a stroller when her two eldest children were tiny. My sisters, two years apart, were taken everywhere simply hoisted under my mother’s arms. This raises so many questions: Could strollers have really been that expensive in the late [...]

By Signe, Staff Writer, My Baby Clothes Boutique Parents have a hard time letting go and watching their children blossom into independent individuals.  Schools are supposed to be the place for this lesson.  But, what isn’t covered in the parenting manual is how do we protect our children from bullying in schools.  Bullies have been [...]

By Mama M., Staff Writer, My Little Life (@5CrookedHalos) As a “MOM” (no, not “Mother of Multiples”, but “Mother of Many”…hmmm, maybe we need to change that. Mother of Lots? Gobs? Oodles?) I learn a lot everyday. I never stop learning and while you’d think that I know a lot about parenting after all these [...]

By Brook, Staff Writer, Baby and Sofia (@babyandsofia) **Editor’s Note: This is part two in a series on raising your child to be bilingual. Go here if you missed part one.** I was raised in an English-speaking family. As a child, the idea of learning an entirely new language was both fascinating and seemingly unattainable.  [...]

By Sarah, Contributor, The Stroller Ballet (@StrollerBallet) If there’s one thing parenting classes don’t prepare you for, it’s the number of times you will eat your words. Happily. Whether you were adamant against pre-packaged foods, plastic toys or a host of other evils (evils loved by children everywhere, of course), odds are you’ve broken down [...]

By Megan M., Staff Writer, All A Bunch of Momsense (@taxmegan) I contemplated a career change recently. Only for a minute, because the reality is that I love my job and the flexibility it provides me, but I had a moment. You’ve been there, too, I’m sure of it. That moment where someone does something [...]

By Megan M., Staff Writer, All A Bunch Of Momsense (@taxmegan) It’s amazing how much time real life sucks out of our days. After the kids went back to school a few weeks ago, it was time for us to kick off our own “back to school” period at my job. My work hours kick [...]

By Betsy, Editor, Funky Mama Bird (@funkymamabird) I’m going to open up a big, slimy can of worms right now by talking about car seats. Why the can of worms, you ask? Because I’m not only going to talk about car seats, I’m going to talk about rear-facing car seats and the recommendation to wait [...]

By: Leigh, Guest Writer, Jersey Diva Mom (@jerseydivamom) While I’m an adoptive mom and would gladly extol its virtues, I wouldn’t say I’m expert material; a passing glance at my blog would call key parenting skills into question. So while “expert” is beyond reach, “adoptive mom who lost it a couple of times on strangers” [...]

By Signe Whitson, Guest Writer, My Baby Clothes Boutique Do you regularly leave a “Honey Do” that your husband routinely ignores?  Are emotionally-charged conversations often shut down with the words “Fine” and “Whatever?”  If you and your husband communicate anger and hostility through undone errands and botched chores, then passive aggression might be the third [...]

By Mama M, Contributor, My Little Life (@5CrookedHalos) That IS the question. Here in Minnesota, the birthday cut-off for attending kindergarten is September 1st. If you happen to have a child with a summer birthday, I promise that you will hear every argument for and against sending your child to kindergarten when they are five years old. It’s [...]

By PV Lundqvist, Guest Writer, PV Lundqvist (@PVLundqvist) The problem with writing a post about wives and mommyhood is…I’m a guy. I see these roles from the outside. Their effects only. So instead of imagining that I can know what another human being is thinking, feeling, experiencing, I would like to illustrate how the typical [...]

By Michaela, Contributor, Mama Michie’s Musings, (@MamaMichie) They always tell you it only takes a second for something to happen. Just.one.second. I, unfortunately, found this out for myself. Thankfully everything turned out okay, but in my two years of being a mother, it was – and hopefully will remain – my worst mommy moment ever. [...]

by Julia, Editor, Work, Wife, Mom… Life! (@julialadewski) As school rolls back into session and moms are busy running around packing backpacks and school lunches, driving one kid to soccer and the other to football, and trying to squeeze dinner in there somewhere, it’s hard to find a minute to breathe. {Deep breath in……… Out.} [...]

By Mama M, Contributor, My Little Life (@5CrookedHalos) I need to see a show of hands.  All of you who’ve ever seen a child off to high school, raise your hands. Okay, good. Now that you’ve identified yourselves, let’s talk. My baby. Well, not really my baby, but you know what I mean…metaphorically speaking (because [...]

Kristi, Guest Writer, Live and Love…Out Loud (@TweetingMama) Marriage is a sacred union – one that thrives on love, honesty and a mutual respect. Two people with two totally different personalities come together as one in the name of love. Promises are made. Rings are exchanged. They kiss and ride off into the sunset. Then [...]

By Betsy, Contributor, Funky Mama Bird (@funkymamabird) I spent this past Friday night in the company of some fun and charming ladies, three of whom happened to be pregnant. I wound up leaving that night with some serious pregnancy envy and a burning question in my mind: How do you know when you are ready [...]

By Dalia, Guest Writer, (@GenXMomBlogger) I ask myself often, when did this happen?  When did my life become so busy?  I remember when it was so easy…I remember when I had so much time.  I continually search for the tips on how to balance it all.  You see, I want to do it all.  Most [...]

By Mama Michie, Contributor, Mama Michie’s Musings, (@MamaMichie) Noah was never a good sleeper. He was always a fan of short naps and has slept through the night only a handful of times. It took us what seemed like forever to get him to fall asleep on his own while in his own bed. We [...]

By Amy, Guest Writer, The Adventures of JAMC And so it begins.  You stare with starry-eyed wonder at your newborn, and feel something wonderful stir within you.  So many plans and ambitions run through your head for this little one who has immediately taken your heart.  But…what if your plans are changed?  What if the [...]

by Honey B, Contributor, The Honey B (@thehoneyb) Today I was thinking about all the reasons why I want to wait and finish the Baby Bucket List before I get pregnant. Part of it is just wanting to feel prepared, and get some things off my plate before I take on the monumental task of [...]

By Michaela, Contributor, Mama Michie’s Musings (@MamaMichie) As a child I dreamt of being a ballerina when I grew up… later on I wanted to become a pediatrician. When it came time to go to college I studied German, with the intent on getting some sort of business degree… then I moved to Germany after [...]

By Betsy, Contributor, Funky Mama Bird, (@funkymamabird) I’ve never really had trouble making friends. I’ve met people in school, in work, at the gym. I’ve even made some friends through blogging that became Real Life friends. So I’m not sure exactly what happened, but somehow after I had my son I stopped making friends easily. [...]

Kristi, Guest Writer, Live and Love…Out Loud (@TweetingMama) Motherhood is a gift. Though extremely taxing, it’s one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have. We spend years unconditionally loving, nurturing and encouraging our children. Our mission? To raise responsible, honest and compassionate adults who contribute their very best to society. Sounds easy, right? I [...]

by Honey B, Contributor, The Honey B (@thehoneyb) Sometimes you come across a warning on a post about What Does a Mucus Plug Really Look Like Anyway? and there is the disclaimer at the top about TMI, and a plea to the father of said blogger begging him to please skip this post?? Oh the [...]

By Cori, Guest Writer, Cori’s Big Mouth (@cori_shelley) Hi!  My name is Cori and I am so excited to be a guest writer, especially because I’m not a mommy!  So you may be wondering why am I writing a post for a mommy blog?  I’m here to share my story as a nanny, a nanny [...]

By Cheri, Guest Writer, It’s So Very Cheri Help me come up with names for each of the chapters. Click the button and it will take you to the page that has each of the chapters. Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Continued from: The next morning we got up. This was the day I [...]

by Brook , Contributor, babyandsofia (@babyandsofia) Airplane rides with a newborn is quite an experience, and it only seems to become more of a “treat” as the baby grows. My husband and I took our first airplane ride with our baby, Paolo, when we went on vacation six weeks after he was born.  Yes, when [...]

Megan, Guest Writer, Twinsomnia When my husband and I first found out we were going to have twins, we were so overcome by the excitement of it all that our brains stopped working. That lasted for a few weeks. After that, we emerged from twin shock and started to think logistics.  The first point being [...]

Dana, Guest Writer, My Three Little Ducks (@my3littleducks) February 24th 2007 was the day that everything changed. It changed how I parented my 3 week old. It changed how I was a sister, a daughter, a mom and wife. That was the day I lost my dad to cancer. That was the day I became [...]

by Megan M., Contributor, All a Bunch of Momsense (@taxmegan) We have pets. Currently, we own two dogs and are tolerated by one cat. There is no denying we are pet people – we’ve always had animals. When my husband and I met, we each owned a dog, both Dalmatians. Shortly after we purchased our [...]

Elizabeth, Guest Poster The eyes of every parent in the place were on me. They were staring me down, glaring at me, for subjecting my child to the ultimate danger: a deep, dark swimming pool. The way they were looking at me, you’d have thought I was letting my daughter leap into a bottomless pit. [...]

By Mama M, Contributor, My Little Life (@5crookedhalos) I have long called my first child my “guinea pig”. Not knowing what the heck I was doing, everything was an experiment. Still is. I mean, GOSH! I’ve never had a 14 year old before…but I’ve done every age under that…and some twice. Wait…some 5 times! FIVE? Oh [...]

By Michaela, Contributor, Mama Michie’s Musings (@MamaMichie) Noah loves his sister. Before she was born, we had our doubts as to how he would react to her, but they were washed away within minutes of her birth. He showers her with kisses many, many, many times a day. He kisses her as soon as he [...]

By Krista, Guest Writer, Not Mommy of the Year, (@notmommyofyear) I always knew I would be a working mother.  It wasn’t rocket science after looking at our checkbook and it wasn’t really a hard decision to make.  I grew up with a mother who worked but who attended every one of my sporting events and [...]

By Megan, Contributor, All a Bunch of Momsense (@TaxMegan) Did you dream? Did you think about what it is you really WANT? Good. Now, let’s talk about some smart, simple ways to get there. These are not “get rich quick” things, and honestly, most of it is going to be pretty common sense. Let’s start with [...]

By My Baby Sweetness, Guest Writer I admitted this on my blog and now I’ll admit it here too.  It’s true – I’ve started dating.  And my husband… he knows…  Now I could go down the path of saying he’s ok with it because I’m dating women now, but I won’t (that didn’t count!).  I’m dating [...]

There is an amazing book out there that can really help boost your relationship with your partner or anyone for that matter. It’s called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The book explains that everyone has a primary way of expressing their love. As a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, Mr. Chapman was able to identify each of these languages.

By Liz, Editor, a belle, a bean & a chicago dog (@bellebeandog) Greetings and welcome to the *New* Our Mommyhood!! Our Mommyhood is a vibrant, diverse community of women who are moms, bloggers and writers.  It is a place for moms  - regardless of their stage in the game of Motherhood - to share their experiences and ideas about being [...]

By Cheri, Guest Writer Hello, My name is Cheri from Its So Very Cheri. Come along on our journey of infertility, a search for something that would work to make us go from a couple, to a family. If you need to catch up, click Part 2. You can get to part one from there. [...]

By Michele, Guest Writer, Papoe With two young daughters in my parenthood tool belt, I am constantly searching for useful resources about the ups and downs of raising strong and confident girls. Recently I came across a website that is unique in both its focus and its range. ParentingPink.com is a rare find, a sort [...]

Ask any random group of 100 women what their number one New Year’s Resolution is, and I am willing to bet that at the top of that list “Lose Weight”. I would know, it was mine for many years.

By Beth, Contributor, Funky Mama Bird It’s 3pm, the teething baby is wrapped around my leg, simultaneously bouncing up and down and licking my knee. A cat is trying to get into my lap while the other one hurls on the floor behind me. Before I can turn around, a chat box opens on my [...]

First of all let’s make it clear that I’m not a hippy! I’m not a huge astrology fan, I’m just your normal amount of an astrology fan. I don’t go looking for my daily horoscope or anything. If I happen to come across it, it’s usually wrong and has absolutely nothing in common with what’s going on in my life at the time.

By Natalie, Editor, Mommy of a Monster (I Mean Toddler) & Infant Twins (@mommyofamonster) Hi! I’m Natalie, and this is my first time posting as one of the new Editors In Chief. I’m excited to be a part of such a fantastic community and to have the opportunity to learn and share with other women traveling [...]

By Tonya, Guest Writer, Letters for Lucas My son is turning one in a few days and that just seems crazy! Where did this year go? 365 days… poof, gone! Most days felt like an absolute eternity, while others simply flashed right before my eyes. I think I’m still in complete denial that I’m someone’s [...]

By Poppy, Guest Writer, Funny Or Snot (@funnyorsnot) In my high school yearbook when I was asked what I would be doing in 10 years, I was quoted as saying “married with 16 kids, be a housewife, PTA President, drive a station wagon, be spanked when I’m bad, and have to beg whenever I want a new [...]

My husband and I had been talking about changing our cable for years. At first he wanted to switch over to satellite… he drooled over the sports packages that they offered. Year after year passed though and we were still with our cable provider.

When Noah was born we contemplated cutting cable all together. We had become Netflix fans and were watching a lot of movies… the thing that stopped us from doing that though was the sports.

Greetings from the Editors of Our Mommyhood! As you may have noticed, things are starting to look a bit different around here.  Myself and 3 other women recently assumed the position of Editors-in-Chief, and have been working tirelessly ever since. But before I get into some of what we have in store for you ladies, [...]

By Kristin, Editor, Taming Insanity (@taminginsanity ) I never thought I’d be comfortable taking my boobs out in public. Even at Mardi Gras type events I was not one to lift my shirt. It’s not just that I’m a prude. My boobs are normally the size of small planets. They have their own gravitational pull [...]

I know it seems as though Spring just arrived – and really, it took a little extra time getting here this year – but it is never too soon to start planning those Summer vacations!! If you’re looking for “the usual” vacation spots – then keep on moving…BUT if you’re looking for something different – then you’ve come to right blog post!!!

I was so nervous. I don’t know why. I mean, I really like this person. So why was my stomach in knots?

To avoid being shot down in person, I approached them by email. Perhaps the thought of saying “no” over the internet is slightly less humiliating.

I turned 27 years old this month. I will never forget this birthday. From now on it will be referred to as “The Birthday that a gray hair showed up within a month of my big day”. Major sads.

Did you know that if Stay-At-Home Mom’s got a paycheck for the jobs they do, they would be paid 134,000 dollars a year!

There is nothing like the taste of home-grown veggies! Fresh, pure and full of flavor…store-bought produce just can’t compete.

Ladies and Gents, it’s time to take control – if not of the finances themselves, we’re going to take control of our level of involvement, and awareness. And if you are married, this is a team event.

I’m gonna level you here…all my life I wanted to be a stay at home mom (still do, in fact), just raise babies and love ‘em up ’til they can bring me home some grandbabies.
But, sometimes…life just doesn’t turn out quite the way you plan.

My head was spinning. My baby was still alive and they wanted to end it just because it didn’t look promising. What was I to do-follow my Drs office instructions or fight.

Seriously, people. We’ve lost touch with what’s appropriate vis-a-vis the rowing machine. Mr. Fatty McButter Pants in the bright yellow spandex hot pants? I’m looking at you.

Once upon a time… quite a while ago… I spoke about this “tradition” on my personal blog. This “game” has become something incredibly meaningful to my family.

See, in my mind, I’m brilliant. I can envision this glorious piece, be it a radio ad or printwork. It’s beautiful. Michelangelo would be jealous.

Then, there is the real world.

Memphis is home to the World Championship Bar-B-Que Cookoff Competition on the banks of the mighty Mississippi River every May. I was raised in a family that competed every single year in this competition. For five days every May, my life revolved around the mighty god Pork.

That is why everyone’s jaw hit the floor a year ago when I announced that my household would all become vegetarian. The next day.

In the course of getting to meet people, it is only natural that I get asked basic questions: Are you married? What do you do for a living? Any kids? When I answer that last question, and I say how many children I have had, without a doubt people always want to know more because there are so many. It’s usually at this point, that the conversation turns a little odd.

Since I already know which way it’s going to head, I can brace myself for how to handle it. Since you, dear readers, do not, let me fill you in. See- I was a surrogate.

My husband’s wedding ring has been collecting dust on a shelf in our bedroom for months now. It doesn’t fit him anymore because he was a whopping 40 pounds heavier on the day we were married than he is today.

Does it bother me? Yeah, a little bit. It’s the only thing that symbolizes that he is a married man to the public.

I step off the treadmill and lean over to pick it up, and the unthinkable happened…

I farted.

It was like when time stands still in the movies, and you’re thinking- that did NOT just happen.

You never know how it feels to walk in another mom’s shoes… until you have been there.

Things were going well. We had the house and our careers. We had been married a couple of years, when we decided to begin our family.

A few months had gone by and nothing.

It’s getting warmer. Here they come – those images we’re inundated with every spring. You know… young, lithe, tan models. Skin glowing, hair shining, teeth gleaming. There they stand sporting cute little skirts, or short shorts, or heaven help us, swimwear.

Anybody else ever want to punch one of ‘em square in the face?

If there were ever an issue with what we found in our kids’ diapers or potties, or if we noticed them having a lot of difficulty in that area, would we hesitate to get things checked out? Probably not. We’d make appointments, take our kids to specialists if necessary – we wouldn’t rest until we figured out what was wrong.

So why, dear friends, do we hesitate when it happens to us?

You’re weeks away from giving birth. You’re counting down the day til your beloved maternity leave; when you can be home and relax and spend wonderful, beautiful, peaceful hours with your sweet new babe.

Crying, screaming, feedings, wakings, spit-ups, throw-ups, diapers, bibs, more crying, a little sleeping, an outting once a week and before you know it… POOF! Your maternity leave is over.

As is the case with so many school systems, ours has hit a financial crunch. Faced with cutting over $4 million in the immediate future, a list of proposed changes was released. On a Friday. There was going to be a Community Meeting held the following Wednesday, where we would be allowed to voice concerns, ask questions, and get a few answers.

That Community Meeting? It was being scheduled for the day AFTER the school board was to vote on the proposed cuts.

I had been feeling all of these things for weeks… months… and yet how do you describe what it feels like to someone who will never get to experience it for himself? If you’re a mom, how would or did you describe the feel of the movements to others?

Have you noticed how, instead of being supportive of one another, some women act like they are in constant competition to be nominated woman/mom/wife of the year? Everything you have done, they have done bigger and better. Their kids are better than your kids. Their house, car, husband, diet, blah, blah, blah.

I had no reason to expect the arrival of my daughter would be any different. I had no idea I would yearn for the blissful ignorance of having a healthy, full term baby. You see, when my daughter was born so, so early and so, so tiny, I found myself thrust into world I knew existed but never expected to enter. Becoming the mom of a preemie means entry into club that no one wants to be a part of. Instead of money, dues are paid in learning medical terminology, explaining the meaning of “adjusted age” to everyone you meet, and redefining your understanding of the word strength.

By Toni

I am fortunate enough to have in my possession a Second Edition (Fourth Printing) of the “Betty Crocker’s Picture Cook Book” that is in mint condition. It is from the year 1956, when women didn’t have the luxury of such things as washing machines and dish washers. In it, I found a page titled “Special Helps” with all sorts of fun tidbits to help the modern woman of the fifties make her day run more smoothly. I thought if they worked for the ladies of the fifties, whose to say it wouldn’t work for the modern woman of today? The gems I found are such as: