Our Mommyhood

There are few people who dare to utter what they really think in cases where other people are present or tension suggests an argument could be on the cards. In situations such as these, it’s often much easier to leave a note or write a letter when confronting someone.

More than ever this type of passive aggressive behavior is demonstrated via the internet. You can write a blog or send an email with no fear of the recipient being confrontational or demanding immediate action about it. You’re free to give your opinion or rant about something or someone, and you can choose to ignore the repercussions. It’s like having your own digital messenger, and no one hurts the messenger.

In the adult world, this conduct may seem perfectly acceptable, and in some cases sensible; to maintain a certain safe distance from the subject. However, where teens and children are concerned, there appears to be a worrying epidemic of bullying or cyber-bullying emerging.

Most people are likely to have had first-hand experience of bullies, or at least bear witness to their tactics in real life; but now you don’t have to be the big tough kid, nor is it quite so easy to identify the tell-tale signs. Nowadays you can bully someone anonymously from your computer or mobile phone on the most public of platforms with the rest of the world for an audience. And this is exactly what’s happening.

Some bullies prefer to post rumors, videos, embarrassing information or lies, and others utilize technology to take intimidation to a whole new level; recording threats, violence and physical abuse for the purpose of sharing. With the ability to spread fear beyond the classroom, infiltrate the home ‘safe zone’, this evolved form of bullying is proving dangerous on many levels.

What brings someone to use the internet to say things they wouldn’t say to someones face? Well, it’s easy, safe, and convenient. It allows festered resentment or anger to be expressed in an instant. But essentially, the core motivations for bullies operating online are the same in real life situations – to push an individual down and play upon a person’s insecurities, in addition to making themselves feel better by pointing out the flaws of others, or somehow trying to prove to others that they are better or superior.

Unfortunately, online bullying is a problem without an easy solution. The internet has seen a massive shift in social interaction that is likely to continue affecting the ways in which people communicate. On one hand it’s a great way for individuals who find social situations difficult to find and speak to others of a similar nature and for friends and family to keep in touch more readily, however, there are many opportunities for information to be misconstrued, tone of voice to be ‘misheard’ and messages to be exaggerated or distorted too.

Perhaps with time however, organizations will be able to help weed out the bed eggs on the web, good intent will prevail over bad, and the population will start to hone their false information radars and apply privacy settings to protect themselves from the darker characters on the web. By collectively looking out for our fellow online communities, limiting the permanency of comments, and reducing the audience size available to such passive aggressive individuals, perhaps the value / satisfaction of such behaviour won’t be worth it anymore.

An open discussion and an awareness of the damage that can be done can certainly help to improve some situations. However, prevention is better than the cure, and maybe we as individuals should consider, “if you wouldn’t say something to someone’s face, maybe you shouldn’t say it at all.”

This post was produced by Amy Greenacre on behalf of Broadband Choices comparison site, for comprehensive and impartial advice.

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