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The Good Things About Being A Single Parent
April 8th, 2011 | 
Author: However, there are some benefits to being the only parent. Really, I’m serious. The trade-offs for having to give every single bath, medicate every single fever, comfort every single nightmare and read every single book?
1. Control. Yes, I am a control freak, so being in control means alot to me. But what I mean here is control over parenting. I don’t have to compromise. I don’t have to agree. If I want my kid’s carseat rearfacing until she’s 26 years old, that’s my decision. I don’t have to convince another parent. If I don’t want my kid to watch tv at night, all I have to do is turn it off. If I don’t want my kid to eat a certain food, all I have to do is not have it in the house. Like most parents, I don’t have a lot of control over what happens to my kid when she’s out of the house. She eats what they feed at daycare (except eggs because of allergies), she watches tv if it’s on when we’re visiting. At home, however, I get to call the shots. I don’t have to agree with anyone else, because I’m the only adult who lives there. It helps cut down on the arguments.
2. Attachment. There are many perceived and anecdotal benefits to attachment parenting. My daughter and I are pretty attached to one another (understatement). I can’t tell you if being a single parent makes us more attached than we would be if there were another parent in the mix. I can tell you that being a single parent has helped facilitate a deep attachment that I hope serves as her foundation for a life of other healthy attachments beyond me.
3. Being There. Not having another parent around means that I can’t call in a pinch hitter. When there’s a snack at daycare for the next colored-holiday-of-the-month, if I want her to have a parent there, I have to show up. But that also means that I don’t miss it. I don’t miss the pink gooey cupcake face on Valentine’s Day. I don’t miss talking to the other mommies about how great our kids get along. I don’t miss watching the caregivers interact with my daughter, or seeing her interact with her friends and classmates.
Previously I talked about how important it is to have a support system. It is impossible to expect yourself to do it alone and still do it well. But even with support, you are still the only parent. And that’s not a bad thing.
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I’ve always felt guilty for having similar thoughts. I am married and my husband is great but sometimes I think how much easier it would be if there werent two decisions to consider when it comes to raising our daughter. One idea we HUGELY disagree on is homeschooling – I’m all for it, he’s all against it. We still have a few years to work this out, but for now its like the looming elephant in the room.
Thanks for sharing your perspective and pointing out that support is key – Parent of all types, from single to couples always need to remember to have a good support system.
Don’t forget to mention that you don’t have to feel underappreciated because the other parent won’t pick up any slack. I actually had less stress with the kids once my ex was not around. Everything just got done, rather than giving him chances to step up and being disappointed every time!
Michelle Saunderson´s last blog ..Busy Wednesday
I agree wholeheartedly. While it is positively exhausting doing it all alone, I love making all the decisions and having her raised exactly they way I want.
A little late to the party but I’d have to agree with the writer and those that have commented thus far. I too feel guilty about this at times.
Never late! Always good to hear input. Thank you for joining in!