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Preparing My ADHD Teen for Driving: A Mother’s Fear
February 28th, 2011 | 
Author: By Kristi, Contributor, Live and Love… Out Loud (@TweetingMama)
Preparing teens for the huge responsibility of driving can be an intimidating and nerve-wracking experience. As a former insurance professional, I spoke to teens at local high schools in my community about the importance of safe driving. It was an exciting opportunity and one that I excelled at, but when it comes to preparing my teenage son for driving I’m a complete mess.
You see, my 15 year old son Andre has ADHD and preparing him for the enormous responsibility of driving a motor vehicle scares me to death.
Jaw Dropping Facts About Teen Drivers with ADHD
According to the Edge Foundation, the statistics surrounding teen drivers with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, otherwise known as ADHD, are jaw dropping.
Compared to other teens, teen drivers with ADHD are…
- Seven times more likely to have been in 2 or more accidents
- Four times as likely to be at fault in the accident
- Four times as likely that those accidents involve injuries
- Twice as likely to receive a speeding ticket
- Five times as likely to receive a traffic citation
And most disturbing of all: “Families of teen drivers with ADHD have a higher risk of serious injury or death of their child.”
Serious injury or death.
I’ve every right to be afraid.
ADHD and Fears
After extensive testing, Andre was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 6. His symptoms include difficulty focusing, following multi-step directions and processing information quickly. He’s easily distracted, fidgets and is almost always in motion. At times, Andre is also impulsive and acts without any regard for the consequences. His symptoms are managed on a daily basis through the use of medication and a lot of hard work on Andre’s part in maintaining self-control. But despite the success he continues to experience through the use of medication, Andre’s challenges with focusing and impulsiveness remain.
Along with my fears.
The ADHD teen driving statistics don’t lie. They’re incredibly sobering and downright terrifying. Even more terrifying is the fact that the same set of skills that are required to make one a safe driver are the same skills that have been affected by Andre’s ADHD: ability to focus, plan ahead and follow through and remaining on task.
What if Andre can’t react quickly and defensively to avoid an accident? What if he makes lane changes without looking for an all-clear beforehand? What if he becomes distracted by the muscle car riding alongside him? What if the bird flying overhead catches and holds his attention in bumper to bumper traffic? What if…
The fears and “what ifs” are many, but one thing is certain: Driving is a life skill that Andre needs in order to live on his own someday.
Preparing Teenagers for Driving Despite the Challenges of ADHD
Teenagers with ADHD have an additional set of challenges to overcome when learning to drive. Teaching teens like Andre to overcome and work through those challenges is a huge undertaking and plays an essential role in establishing safe driving practices.
Here are a few important steps that parents of teens with ADHD should consider:
Determine whether or not your child is mature enough for the responsibility of driving. When it comes to teens withe ADHD, maturity level is far more important than legal driving age.
NEVER allow your ADHD teen to drive without medication. Ever. An additional dose may be necessary for late night driving, though late night driving should only be allowed once the driver is experienced enough.
Talk with your teen about the challenges he’s experienced while driving. For instance, ask him about any distractions that may have come up during his drive. Helping him identify some of those challenges and triggers is important in creating self-awareness.
Establish driving rules:
1. Driving should be restricted to necessary trips.
2. Radio and cell phones should remain powered off while driving so as to avoid distraction. Cell phones should only be used when vehicle is off.
3. Passengers should be prohibited until your teen has adequate experience.
Creating incentives, establishing rules and guidelines and acting as your child’s ally are all important things to consider when preparing your ADHD teen for driving. With encouragement, guidance and lots of practice, your teen will be well on his way to becoming a safe driver.
Letting Go
In spite of the “what ifs”, the horrible statistics and my crippling fears, I’m determined to provide my son with the opportunities and life skills he’ll need in order to lead a productive and successful life on his own someday. Preparing Andre for driving is one of the many challenges I’ll continue to face as the mother of a teen with ADHD.
Tomorrow it’ll be something else, but today I’m letting go. I’m letting go of my fears and preparing my ADHD teen for the huge responsibility and privilege of driving.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced while teaching your teen to drive? Are there any safe driving tips you could offer to parents of teens with ADHD?
Kristi is navigating her way through the triumphs and challenges of motherhood and marriage while living it up, loving out loud and laughing it off at Live and Love…Out Loud.
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This was very informative. Thank you for writting this. Good luck with Andre and all of the challenges you face ahead.
Dolli-Mama´s last blog ..Bucket Swing!
Thanks Dolli-Mama! We’re going to need all the luck we can get. Have a great day!
Kristi, Live and Love Out Loud
@TweetingMama
Kristi {at} Live and Love Out Loud´s last blog ..Who Knew That a Poop Plant Would be the Perfect Tourist Destination
I don’t have any advice because I am not at this point yet. I am trying to help GC through his oldest getting his learner’s in 22 days though. Ay-yi-yi. Thank you for the tips. They are excellent tips, honestly, for drivers of any age.
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Thank you so much Drama Mama!
Kristi {at} Live and Love Out Loud´s last blog ..Who Knew That a Poop Plant Would be the Perfect Tourist Destination
[...] and I embark on the next phase in preparing Andre for life on his own, I sit here in complete fear. Teaching our ADHD teen to drive will certainly be challenging and scary. I’m afraid that he’ll get hurt. I’m [...]
Kristi,
This is a subject that I have been questioning for quite some time. Before I had started the process with my son, I searched our DMV website to see if there were restrictions, additional laws, special classes for such drivers and I found that there were none. I was shocked at this. I then wondered how many drivers are on the road that perhaps should not be? Scary. My son does not have an official diagnosis of ADHD, but certainly has some ADD characteristics along with a learning disability which has been labeled as “expressive receptive language disorder”. He is 18 now and has had his license for a year. When he was your son’s age we started the discussion of driving. He flat out asked me if I was going to hold him back from learning how to drive because of his “learning disability”. I told him absolutely not, but forewarned him that it would certainly take longer for him to learn and that he would have to expect to be very patient and not compare his experience with anyone else’s. A parent’s goal, regardless of a learning disability, is to teach their child to be independent in the world. In no way did I feel that I should hold him back from learning, despite my fears and concerns. I felt that it was my responsiblity to start him off while he was still under my wing and vowed that we would do everything possible to make sure that he was given the knowledge and experience to take the responsibility on. We started by going over the drivers manual together. We must have read this manual together at least a dozen times. Hightlighted areas, made notes and mapped out different driving scenarios. When I was comforatable with the fact that he understood the content of each chapter, my husband then started familarizing him with the car and all of its functions. We played by the book and did not take him on the road or in a parking lot until he obtained his learners permit. He had to take the written learners permit test three times before he passed. It was quite a gruelly and frustrating process. Mentioned in the article is the need to have a certain level of maturity. I full-heartedly agree with that from our experience. My son certainly had times of frustration, but was mature enough to accept the fact that he really needed to work harder at this and really understood the importance of the privilege to drive. We stressed over and over to him that it was a privilege. This was a key factor in the process, and believe me I strongly feel in order to do it right, it has to be a process. It certainly takes extra effort on everyone’s part. He finally obtained his learners permit and was able to start out on the road. This was something that was not easy for me to do with him, so my husband started him off. He was very patient. After a couple of months, we signed him up for driving school. Driving school was really just a repetitive course of everything that he had already learned with going over the driving manual so rigorously. They took him on the road for a total of 8 hours. My husband and I took him on the road for at least 100 hours. We combined night driving, rainy day driving, highway driving, and every scenario that we could. I will say that if we had just signed him up for driving school and thought that would be enough, we would have been very wrong. I don’t think that a lot of parents realize that the driving schools don’t really give them all of the experience that is needed. I know my husband and I didn’t realize this. After going through the whole process, we couldn’t have imagined just sending him to driving school and thats it. He required so much more than that. Every kid is different though. When we felt he was ready for the test, we told him that he needed to get a job before he could actually go for his test. He found a job and then we let him take his test. He failed the first on-road test. The day of the test, it was pouring rain outside. He did not back into a space correctly. He was discouraged at that point, but took the test a month later and passed. He then had to take the written test (the same one for the learner’s permit). He took it and passed. So all in all we started the whole process in September after he turned 16 and he received his license in April when he was 17. It took a year and half, but we feel that we have given him the best foundation and instruction that we could. Regarding cell phones – One rule that we agreed upon is that the cell phone gets turned off and put into the back seat before he gets in the car. He respects this rule. This is habit for him now and has worked. We did a lot of talking about different scenarios and still do. Although he does not take medication for focusing, my son is constantly reminded to “stick to the task at hand”. It is hard to know if your child, despite his/her diagnosis is OK to learn how to drive. You want them to be safe, and everyone else on the road for that matter. You also want them to be able to successfully gain their independence. I guess each parent knows their child and needs to know when and if they are ready. We all know that there are no guarantees, but we have to do our best, right? That would be the “letting go” part which I find the toughest. I wish you luck with Andre!
[...] Nerve-wracking driving lessons [...]