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Blabbing the Big News and Other Facebook Overshares
January 28th, 2011 | 
Author: By Honey B, Staff Writer, The Honey B (@thehoneyb)
Now that Marmot and I have actually made the decision to try to get pregnant, I’m onto the next big question: How do you decide when to announce that you’re pregnant? And should you do it on Facebook?
* My BFF Junebug told me at 9 weeks, but after having a miscarriage at 7 weeks two years prior, her Mom and I are the only ones who knew until almost 20 weeks.
* My friend Mal hid it from the office until someone finally pulled me aside and asked if she was pregnant- to which I said yep, six months along!
* My sister-in-law announced to family at six weeks, and on their blog and Facebook at ten weeks.
* I have a Facebook friend who announced it (with pictures) the day she got a positive test.
Oh the dilemmas!
Before I started blogging, I had no idea that infertility was so common which can make Facebook announcements really hurtful. But on the flip side, I love hearing the latest news in friends lives (isn’t the entire concept of Facebook?) and I would be sad to miss it.
On the other hand, I have a FB friend who pregnancy-overshares. To the point that by the time we got to the 10 weeks update, I actually thought OMG we’re only a quarter of the way there and I’m already sick of her pregnancy!
But on the flip side, I don’t blame her. What an exciting time! The risk of miscarriage is so much higher in the first trimester, but who can be quiet for 12 weeks?
On the other hand, I totally see Mal’s point in keeping quiet until its just obvious; it doesn’t make it seem so long (How far along are you, should be almost time soon right? Oh, well actually, another 12 weeks to go!) and nobody needs to know you have hemorrhoids (pregnancy-related or otherwise) on Facebook. Ever.
see more Failbook
So don’t tell too early, and don’t update FB too often, but make sure to tell people so they can be happy with you and soon enough that they don’t feel like you’re hiding it, but don’t overshare. Help!
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I had both my boys before Facebook took over. (That makes me feel old but I promise I’m not!) But I told everyone at about 6 weeks, as soon as I got the news. With my second child, we faced the possibility that he would have Down’s syndrome. We kept that quiet until we knew more, simply because we didn’t want anyone to worry. Personally I love seeing FB updates from my pregnant friends. I have several friends who struggled with infertility, and I love celebrating their pregnancy, and in some cases, their adoption journey.
I hear from people all the time complaining about the women who boast on FB about their pregnancies. These women have fertility issues. But I think FB is a tool to keep you and your friends in the know about each other. Like anything else, over sharing is going to get your ass defriended or just plain hidden from their wall.
My cousin (whom I never see in real life) announced this week on Facebook that she was pregnant. I think it’s a great place to let out of town family & friends know your news – after you’ve told immediate family & friends in your own way.
Honestly, the infertility aspect of it never crossed my mind. I’m so naive.
First off, you need to make sure you tell all important parties before you post on facebook. Your sister, or mom or whoever is gonna be mad if they don’t know first. And I think to tell when you are showing is a good plan. Of course, I showed when I conceived, so everybody knew about my pregnancies pretty early.
The infertility aspect of sharing pregnancy news via Twitter or Facebook never crossed my mind until recently. I can certainly understand how that kind of news and 40 weeks worth of constant updates on all things pregnancy-related could hurt a person who’s experiencing infertility.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by OurMommmyhood, OurMommmyhood. OurMommmyhood said: New Our Mommyhood Post!: Blabbing the Big News and Other Facebook Overshares http://www.ourmommyhood.com/2011/01/28/pregnancy-announcement/ [...]
I waited until I saw the heartbeat before announcing my current pregnancy. My last was before Facebook days. I never thought about being sensitive to those who couldn’t have children. While I respect and sympathize with their struggles, I hope that even my “just facebook” friends would share in my joy as I would in theirs.
And as for that dirty little “H” word, I just blogged about some recent troubles I experienced. Overshare? Probably.
Oh well, nothing about my body feels very private after having a child. After boobs flying out everywhere and a whole room of people seeing my hoo-ha, all privacy is out the window. I still wouldn’t make my facebook status, though
Our OB suggested 12 weeks, another time when your chance of miscarriage drops. . We opted to wait until 20 to go facebook official though. We told my parents on Fathers day by putting our 8 week ultrasound into a grandfather card. The wait to tell them was terrible!
We waited until I was 10 weeks along with Brayden and had seen the dr, had an ultrasound, etc. It is an exciting time, but I have a hard time getting excited until I have legit proof that there is something in there!