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Bullying in Schools – What Can Parents Do
December 18th, 2010 | 
Author: By Signe, Staff Writer, My Baby Clothes Boutique
Parents have a hard time letting go and watching their children blossom into independent individuals. Schools are supposed to be the place for this lesson. But, what isn’t covered in the parenting manual is how do we protect our children from bullying in schools. Bullies have been around forever, this is not a new subject. However the tools for this abuse have extended the reach and affect on our children. Today many suicides have been linked to some type of bullying behavior. Why? What can we do to protect our children?
The definition of bullying is the intentional and repeated harm of someone weaker by a person or group. How can you prepare your child to effectively cope with bullying in all of its forms, at any point in the school day? Use these three strategies to teach your favorite student to how to maintain his power in difficult peer relationships:
Reach Out!
A bully’s main objective is to make his victim feel alone and powerless; make sure your child knows that it is his job to create awareness about any bullying that is occurring – especially the under-the-radar, out-of-the-classroom behavior that teachers do not see or hear.
Help your child to realize that this is exactly what the bully wants him to think, if your child worries that the bullying will worsen if he “tattles.” A bully begins to lose power he or she realizes that he or she will not be able to keep a victim isolated — that the victim is indeed strong enough to reach out and connect with others.
Respond Promptly!
The longer a bully has power over a victim, the stronger the hold becomes. Oftentimes, bullying begins with minor name calling or teasing, but escalates when a bully realizes that his victim will not fight back. Name calling turns into online humiliation. Teasing becomes social exclusion. Threats of violence are realized and your child finds himself in real physical danger. Teach your child that taking action sooner rather than later is the best way to keep a bully at bay.
Reinforce Your Words!
Practice using body language that sends a clear message when coaching your child about how to resist bullying. Use role-play to teach these simple, non-verbal strategies that indicate to a bully that your child means what he says:
• Maintain eye contact
• Keep your voice calm and even
• Stand an appropriate distance from the bully
• Use the bully’s name when speaking to him
Teach your child that looking away, raising his voice, crying, or shrinking back are all dead giveaways that the bully has gotten to him.
The school year is here and bully behavior is surely back in session as well. Teach your child strategies for resisting bully behavior. Fortify your best student with the kind of personal power that no bully wants to bully.
Signe Whitson is a child therapist for over 10 years. She coauthored The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces. She provides her advice to a baby clothes boutique to give back to parents to help protect children. My Baby Clothes Boutique cares about their customers and listens to what they want for their children.
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Very informative post. My oldest child was bullied in middle school. Fortunately, the school he attended had a zero tolerance policy that held the child and parent accountable.
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