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Out Of The Comfort Zone
November 2nd, 2010 | 
Author: By MommieV, Staff Writer, My Little Slice of Mommie Heaven (@MommieV1)
I was in my car driving home. I had a lot on my mind; my little one had come home from daycare the day before with a fever and I had canceled Open Lab for the second Thursday in a row. I was feeling guilty and worried that perhaps a student would get annoyed and talk to my Division Chair, even though I provided them with an alternative Open Lab to attend and they don’t have lab exams for at least three more weeks. Plus Fall Break was immediately following, so would they really show up? Besides, my baby was sick and I wanted to get home to her. So with all of this on my mind, along with the errand I was running on my way home for my mom who was watching my sick baby, I heard a news story on public radio.
A male college student committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington bridge after his roommate surreptitiously streamed video of him having sex with another man live on the internet. I felt sick at my stomach; in that moment I could feel the immense pain that man must have felt. How much shame.
I shared the NPR link on Facebook and wrote “This is one of the most shocking and utterly sad things I’ve heard in a long time”, because that was the only way I could think of to convey how I felt. Several of my friends echoed messages of tolerance and acceptance. But if everyone is so accepting and wants people to be more tolerant, how do we still have children that think it’s funny to publicly shame someone like that?
I periodically read Lesbian Dad’s blog, written by a lesbian mother. She begins to provide some answer to that question at this end of her commentary on the ongoing bullying of LGBT youth. It is a comprehensive look at some of the resources aimed at support for this widespread issue. At the end of the post she discusses the way that being a bystander in a situation like this is like being a bystander at a more overt life-taking event. Thankfully she also lists a number of ways that everyday families can begin to contribute.
Why is this issue so important to me? After all, I’m not gay (despite what some of my family members wonder about my single-mother status).
First, the Welcoming School’s curriculum that she mentions covers family diversity; all kinds of families. That concept is important to me, because I want my family to be considered as normal as other families by everyone I encounter. I support tested curriculum in the schools that help to teach diversity in family situations and lifestyles.
Second, I am scared to death that my daughter will one day be bullied for something that is beyond her control. In the eighth grade I experienced a bullying event that led to my experiencing irrational fear for my life. I don’t remember a lot of details about the ongoing event, but the only thing that stopped it was that the principal of the school was a member of my church and somehow one day I realized he was powerful enough to help me. Bullying is rampant, devastating and needs to be stopped.
Third, like a guest commenter at Scary Mommy wrote recently, it’s possible that my daughter will grow up to be gay. I want her to grow up in as accepting an environment as humanly possible – in my home, in her school and in the world.
Please inform yourself; have a conversation with your children about people who are different, people who are gay and how it’s not nice to hurt them just because they are different. Because it doesn’t just affect single families, it doesn’t just affect gay families and it should be the responsibility of all families to stop it before it hurts someone we love dearly.
I’ll get down off my soapbox now. After all, I still have a feverish toddler, a sink full of dirty dishes, a wet bag full of dirty diapers and a paper to write. I didn’t say that doing something outside the routine of daily life would be easy; only that it’s necessary.
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Yes, I agree. Great post and I do believe it’s so important to have these conversations with our children. They need and crave that guidance from us. Otherwise, they may be tempted to just go along with the “crowd” or the “bully”. It’s our job to teach our children kindness for everyone. It really does start at home.
Thanks for spreading the word
Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)´s last blog ..Teething Bites
You’re the first blog I’ve read that had even talked about this horrific event (and I read a lot of blogs). My sister is gay and is my son’s godmother. My son loves her like crazy, and he grew up with her- yet I still had to have a talk with him about making fun of a gay male student. I overheard him and his friends talking about a gay young man, and it was shocking to me. My son was punished, this will not be tolerated in my family.
Lisa´s last blog ..EVIS MD LED Light Therapy updated Tue Oct 26 2010 7-42 am CDT
[...] Out Of The Comfort Zone | Our Mommyhood [...]
The financial aspect in being a single mother is enormous and the demand and pressure of that unexplainable urge to give everything that you can just for your kid to have a good future.
This article I read so much sympathy. But they do not do this.