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Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet, Give Me Something Good To Eat…Please!*
October 18th, 2010 | 
Author: By Bethany, Contributor, Organic Enchilada
Halloween seems to be the ceremonial opening of the holiday season, which for my family means lots of opportunities to practice our manners.
With four boys, I feel like I might never be able to stop whispering reminders to say, “Please”, “Thank you”, and “Excuse me”. I’m fairly certain it’s a job I’ll have to keep up until they are grown and become their wives’ problems, because even in adulthood my own husband prefers to high-five his sons after a robust fart instead of discreetly excusing himself.
Rather than make it a chore for me and a two month long nag-fest for my boys, I try to make a little game out of practicing manners over the holidays. The “Polite-Olympics” if you will. There are four events and as many winners as are deserving at the end of each round. The prize is simply the honor of not being chastised by embarrassed parents.
Halloween is the opening event, so we take it easy. Before we head out in our skeleton masks and vampire teeth we all practice a few choruses of “Thank you!” Bonus points are awarded for a cheery, “Happy Halloween!” The champion of this round will be the one who remembers to thank the candy-givers at every single door, even if they’re only handing out Tootsie Rolls or Smarties.
Thanksgiving brings with it special circumstances in the manners department. Prior to arriving at Grandma’s house, my husband and I remind our children of proper dinner conversation rules. We are never to speak of boogers, poop or butts while people are eating. We also do not look at food someone has prepared, wrinkle our nose and proclaim it “disgusting”. (Unless we’re presented with store-bought pies. Those really are disgusting and shame to anyone who brings one to a Thanksgiving dinner.) Thanksgiving is a lengthy event which often involves keeping clothes clean and belches quiet, so to emerge in the end with their honor intact is a major triumph for our courteous contenders.
Next, we have Christmas. It’s the big deal; the main event. The equivalent of the four man bobsled, where we all have to work together as a team to make it through an entire month filled with parties and presents and politeness to even the most obnoxious friends and relatives. The Manners Marathon is almost complete. Of course, we teach our boys about Baby Jesus and the true meaning of the season, but as part of our etiquette training we also teach them to accept any gifts they might receive with graciousness. Each boy knows that if he gets a book from Aunt Ethel while his brother gets a Lego set, he is to ignore the injustice and thank his Aunt Ethel for the book as though it were on the top of his Santa Wish-List. Additionally, he will not sport a sour, sulky face if clothing of any kind should appear under any wrapping paper, complain when old people want to hug him or call him by the wrong name, and he must swear to not sing made-up, inappropriate words to any religious carols. Anyone who comes out of December alive and without welts from repeated spankings deserves a gold medal.
Finally, we have New Years Eve. We’ve kind of thrown in the towel at this point, so mostly we just teach our kids that it’s only OK to make fun of drunk people behind their backs. That’s more for their own safety than out of politeness, though. Consider it a Closing Ceremony to our lengthy Polite-Olympics; time to kick back and let the farts fly for another ten months.
How do you reinforce good manners during the holidays?
Bethany spends her days attempting to survive her four young boys and is always on the lookout for a better hiding place for her chocolate stash. So far, the kids have sniffed it out every time. She blogs at Organic Enchilada, but you won’t find any tips there for going green. The only Earth Bethany has the time to worry about is how to get the mud and grass stains out of the boys’ good pants.
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What is it with guys and the post-fart high-five??
Julia´s last blog ..What It Means to be an Old Guy
SO funny Bethany!! I love it…the Polite Olympics
I wonder who will take home the gold?
Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)´s last blog ..Crossroads
The launching of my new book “Because, It’s Just Good Manners!” is scheduled to coincide with Freedom from Bullies Week. The launch will include a challenge to students to practice good manners for one week. Businesses and families will be challenged to “bully” schools to participate. October is also National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, the YWCA Week without Violence is October 16-22, 2010, and the BigMarch Against Bullying is scheduled for November 15, 2010.
Book will be a free download from our website – http://columbiacountypc.org/GoodManners.aspx
Me, most likely, with my amazing cover-ups and backpedaling.
Bethany´s last blog ..Another Monday Treat
I had to laugh at the Halloween example. It brought back memories of last year, when we visited a house that gave out pencils and raisin boxes. I realized too late we were the bad parents who forgot to give the manners speech before going trick-or-treating. We will not make the same mistake this year!
On New Year’s Eve my MIL helps the kids cut up paper into tiny pieces of confetti, then at fake “midnight” (because we don’t want them to stay up that late, we want them to go to bed so the real party can begin) they spend about 15 minutes throwing it up into the ceiling fan, then collecting it off the floor and doing it again. And then my MIL finds it in the carpet and couch cushions for the next 6 months. How’s that for teaching proper manners?!
I love the confetti idea! We always set the clocks ahead by about two hours on New Year’s Eve so that the kids will think its midnight when really it’s only 10:00. No one’s ever the wiser, and then the hubs and I often go to bed before midnight or just say, “Oh, happy New Year…” as we try to stay awake during a DVD. We are serious party animals.
Bethany´s last blog ..What Would You Do
Wow. I am in awe of your manner-building skills…
Side note: Can I get a High Five?
I love the polite Olympics! My boys are just getting to an age where teaching manners is a must. I’m taking your advice and running with it this holiday season – thanks!
OK Bethany, I read your article. My Brother Rocks!! Literally when he farts!!
Boys and manners…who knew??! Bethany, you are the bestest person to write this post. Seriously. I love the Manners Olympics, and it does start with Halloween. I have always made sure my kids said “Trick or Treat” nicely and “Thank you!” (even if the creepy adult has an ankle bracelet and bad candy). And it does ramp up from there…..
Great post!
Sherri´s last blog ..Soccer- Its Whats for Breakfast
[...] a Contributor, is using Halloween as an exercise in manners. Her 4 boys will be getting a lot of practice saying “please” and “thank [...]
This is such a great idea. My girls are young but with the older one we are constantly reminding and working with her on manners (the youngest isn’t talking yet so we can’t be too mad at her!). Definitely going to stay on top of her during the Holidays.