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The Car Seat Debate
October 14th, 2010 | 
Author: By Betsy, Editor, Funky Mama Bird (@funkymamabird)
I’m going to open up a big, slimy can of worms right now by talking about car seats. Why the can of worms, you ask? Because I’m not only going to talk about car seats, I’m going to talk about rear-facing car seats and the recommendation to wait until your child hits 30 to 35lbs before you turn them around. Yes, you read that correctly; Car-Safety.org recommends that you keep your child rear-facing as long as possible, which means up to 30 or 35lbs in weight.
It’s no secret that rear-facing car seats are safer; it’s why we all bring our newborns home in a rear-facing car seat from day one. Over the years, the recommendation for when to turn your child around has been pushed further and further out. While the general rule of thumb is one year of age, new car seat recommendations in several states are starting to require parents to keep their children rear-facing until the age of 2.
Car seat manufacturers are also creating car seats that can safely hold your child rear-facing until they reach as high as 40lbs. 40lbs! So why the switch in recommendations? It’s very simple; everyone is safer traveling in a vehicle when they are facing backwards. Small children, who are more likely to receive whiplash and other injuries that could be debilitating or even fatal receive even more protection from the rear-facing position.
When I bought my son’s car seat, I opted for a convertible model; it can take a child from birth to age 10 in one seat. I purchased the model that I did for a few reasons:
- To sit front facing, he needs to be a minimum of 22lbs and 34 inches in height – not a big change over the standard, but my 15 month old hasn’t hit these numbers yet and probably won’t for several more months.
- If I choose, he can remain rear-facing until he hits 35lbs – which at his current rate of growth will mean sometime in Middle School, but whatever; he’s safe.
- It fit perfectly inside the sedan I was driving at the time, with plenty of shoulder room for the big kids to be in there with him.
Surprisingly, despite the recommendations and the fact that car seats today can hold children rear-facing longer, the standard remains to turn your child around once they hit one year of age. In fact, I have received a lot of surprised looks and reactions from other moms who I see at gymnastics or the library whose children are the same age and size as my son, but who are riding forward-facing, when they see how we ride.
While some states such as Massachusetts are debating passing a law which will require you to keep your child rear-facing until the age of two, most people have not heard this recommendation.
So tell me; what age did you turn your child around? Did you hear about these recommendations? If you haven’t turned your child around yet, will you wait until they’re older or follow the standard procedure? Tell us about it in the comments section.
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I waited until both my sons were 18 months to face them forward. I knew they were big enough at that point because their neck muscles were more developed. Also, I don’t think I could have kept them rear facing any longer because they’re legs were hitting the seat.
Now that they are 2 and 4, I will be keeping them in the 5 point harness system as long as I can. Just my thoughts
From what I’ve heard, it’s fine if their legs rest on the seat – studies have shown this has little impact on safety in a crash.
But I agree with you on the 5-point harness as long as possible! My car seat can be used with the harness to 40 pounds, at which point it becomes a booster.
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
My daughter is 17 months and she is still rear facing but I have to admit that I’m surprised by the 30 to 35 lb rule. I asked my pediatrician and he said 25lbs so I’m definitely going to look into this further. I think car rides will be much easier once she’s forward facing but safety is my main concern. Thanks for the info!
Kasey´s last blog ..3 Amazing Days- Walking for a Cure!
I was surprised when I first heard it, too. We recently moved out of Massachusetts, where the big talk was passing a law to make it age 2, which is why I heard of it in the first place. The state we moved to has no such recommendations, so I researched further and this is what I turned up.
Although I agree life will be so much simpler once he’s been turned around!
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
With my oldest daughter we switched her at about 14months because we thought it might make her carsickness better. We were wrong.
My baby is now 13 months and we have no plans to switch her any tome soon. In fact at her one year appoint ment she was too light to switch so we really didn’t have the choice.
I think the laws will always change slower than the safety recommendations because it takes so long to get anything passed with the government. So I try to keep up on the latest recs to be on the safer side.
By the way, what carseat did you get to go birth -ten? I thought they expired after seven years or something like that.
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I have to admit, I’m sure I would have considered turning him sooner if he suffered from car sickness, since it bothers me to ride backwards; thankfully he doesn’t seem bothered.
The are a number of convertible car seats that are rated as high a 100lbs or as high as 12 years. We got the Alpha Omega which is good for 80lbs or 10 years.
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
My daughter is 18 months and still rear facing. She’s a peanut, so I’m thinking we probably will go all the way until 2 – even though car rides would be easier with her facing the other way.
amber´s last blog ..A Little Silence
We’re planning the same thing – Gunne is tall but only weighs about 5lbs so we’ll be waiting until 2 at a minimum.
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
My son just turned 3 and we kept him rear facing until just before he turned 2. Now both him and my daughter who is 6 have the Britax boosters that allow them to be 5-point harnessed until 85 pounds.
It always interests me that they test boosters for their safety but never mention the fact that a 5-point harness is available and is the safest. I see such small children who just use a booster with a seat belt and can’t believe it’s that safe. We will keep our children in their 5-point harness as long as we can. Even with other kids and parents thinking I’m nuts.
The harness for such long stretches is a plus – we had to weigh a lot of options when selecting the car seat, and we did look at those but other options wound up swaying us in the end. I will be keeping him in the harness until the last possible pound!
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
These recommendations were not in place when my kids were at the age to face forward, so they both started right around one year and over 20 lbs. There’s no doubt that rear facing is safer and I’m pretty sure this will become the norm in the near future.
I’m a big fan of keeping kids safe in cars…so I’m all for this new recommendation:)
My 5.5 year old is still in a 5 point harness with a latched in car seat, not just a booster, for this very reason.
Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)´s last blog ..Plea to the Tooth Fairy
I remember being surprised when I first heard the recommendation, because it had been age 1 and over 20lbs for so long.
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
I refer to myself as the car seat Nazi. I kept my kids in 5 point harness seat until they were 4. I like being safer, but wouldn’t a 23 month old be too long/tall to fit rear facing?
Actually it is safe for them to either fold their legs, or rest them against the seat back – I had the same question!
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
We have a britax boulevard and a frontier. Ellie will be harnessed til she’s in middle school!
So will Gunne!
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
OK, I’m going to be the odd man out and say that I turned some of my kids forward before they hit a year even. My first kid was loooong. 24″ at birth and it only got worse from there. By the time he was six months old his legs were all folded up like an accordion in the rear-facing. We left him rear-facing until we had to make a move across three states that took 14 hours. About three hours into the move we couldn’t take the screaming anymore. He had been at it for more than two hours. We pulled over, switched his carseat forward and he was pleasant as could be for the rest of the trip. Poor excuse maybe, but there ya go. Then with the last kid, I just thought, ‘Screw it’, and we turned him around at about eight months. Shame, I know.
Bethany´s last blog ..Your Lie Detector Test
I have to admit, Gunne’s legs are pretty folded already but he hasn’t even hit the height at which I CAN turn him around, so he’ll just have to stay folded a little longer. =) I keep thinking he probably will be happier and not complain so much when I turn him around, but my constant state of anxiety makes me keep him the way he is. =)
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
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I know it was not when she turned one…it was later – like spring or summer.
Mommy Lisa´s last blog ..PINT – Up the WAZHOO!
I love how everybody seems to have come to their own decision, rather than going by the hard-and-fast turns one and around rule.
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
I’m waiting for the 30-35lbs. recommendation, my son is 16 months and rear facing!
Momma Wilson´s last blog ..Family Photoshoot in St Louis
Hi five! Same here. =)
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
Oh my. I’m feeling a little sheepish to admit that I turned Paolo around when we were in Italy. He weighed 22 pounds and was 11 months old. Italian law dictates that the babe must weigh 10 kg, and I followed it. Sometimes I wonder if I should turn him back around…but he just loves looking out the front window and I love not having a cranky baby in the car. But now that he’s up to 24 pounds, I may have missed the boat on this safety issue….
Brook´s last blog ..Birthday bike
Part of me keeps thinking that Gunne would loooooove to look out the front window, but then The Anxiety wakes up and says, no. =)
Betsy´s last blog ..Punkins!
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Our son was holding up his head at birth – literally – so I knew he had a pretty strong neck. Still, we were planning to leave him rear-facing until about the age of 2, even though it was a pretty bad fit in my car. I can’t remember why we eventually caved to the peer pressure and flipped him at about 16 months. We were ride sharing a bit with people who had forward facing installed in their car and had some long trips. He was a little guy and had so many allergies that I wonder if we just wanted him to feel like the other kids in this area.
Ironically, now those same people have rear-facing seats in their cars, so we alternate and i think he likes resting his feet against the back versus letting them dangle!!
Baby #2 is on the way, and now that the public awareness is increasing, I hope we’ll keep the second kiddo flipped the full two years.
My son was holding his head up at birth as well. Although I have to admit, I didn’t correlate that with flipping him around. =) I just felt better about him going home in that gigantic seat because of it.
Betsy´s last blog ..My Son Is a Boy
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Another mom laughed at me at a mommy group when I mentioned i was going to wait till my daughter was at least 28 lbs or two yrs old to switch her to FF. She even dared to say “poor thing” about my daughter. I get why some wpuld think I’m ridiculous, but why chance it? It took me 7 yrs to get pregnant–I’m sure as hell gonna make sure my miracle child stays safe!!!
I feel the same way! People have made all sorts of comments about how much happier he would be if I turned him around. I’m like, He’d be much happier were the unthinkable to happen and we were hit by a truck? I don’t think so!
Betsy´s last blog ..My Son Is a Boy
My little one just hit 21 pounds at 18 months. At one year she wasn’t big enough to turn around.
Our carseat will go to 40 pounds rearfacing, and so will we. We’ll be in the MIddle School parking lot right next to ya!
It is safer. I can’t see any other decision to make. I’ve had comments made also. I just say “this is what I’ve decided”.
I should probably say something along those lines. I mostly just shrug and smile, and if they press I come out with the studies. Although, come on! Why do people feel the need to comment on my parenting this way?
Betsy´s last blog ..My Son Is a Boy
Um, has anyone heard the term “helicopter parent”? I certainly don’t take chances with my children’s safety, but I think we need to take a step back and use a little bit of common sense here.
It doesn’t matter to me when you turn your car seats around; keep them rear facing and folded and uncomfortable until they’re three our four or ten if you want. I don’t pretend that’s any of my business and I hope that my children who are facing forward earlier than that will not be anyone’s business either.
But middle school? Really? Forgive me, but I find that absolutely ludicrous. Middle school kids are a few short years away from driving the cars you’re still going to have their car seats in? I fail to see how that makes any sense at all. Further, kids in middle school are dealing with all sorts of issues from their peers; I am absolutely not willing to open my kids up to the ridicule you have to know they’ll face from kids in their class if they’re hefted out of a car seat in the school parking lot every morning.
There’s nothing wrong with keeping our kids as safe as we can, certainly. And I understand the impulse to want to keep them tucked away inside a little bubble of safety, but it’s not realistic for one thing and for another? It can end up doing them more harm than good.
Parents should absolutely be making these decisions for their own children in the way they see fit, but I hope that there’s a return of reason when we’re talking about issues like this. Because it’s certainly possible to go too far.
I was joking about middle school.
Although, I think that it doesn’t stigmatize a child to use a booster seat if they require it. My step son used his until last year when he was 9 and so did all his friends. A booster and a car seat are two different things.
Betsy´s last blog ..My Son Is a Boy
Okay, I’m glad the middle school thing was a joke; I really didn’t think it was. Phew!
I realize booster seats and car seats are two different things. I have one in a booster and one in a car seat.
Obviously safety is important and our understand of how to keep our kids safe has come a long way. When most of us were babies, our parents didn’t have us in car seats at all, so I’m certainly not arguing that this is a bad thing. I think we just need to be as careful of being hyper protective as we do of being lax. Neither behavior benefits our kids.
Gucci Mama´s last blog ..Way Too Many Fucking Candles
*understanding. Time for Starbucks.
Gucci Mama´s last blog ..Way Too Many Fucking Candles
I waited until 15 months. My son is a big guy — was 29 pounds at his 15 month appt. We ended up switching him at 15 months though because we were going on a 5 hour car ride, and it would be easier for him to be forward facing (and it was!)
I heard about the extended recommendations when he was really young — that is why we waited until 15 months.
I wonder about how the statistics were calculated though… I feel like it was way more likely to get in an accident when he was rear facing because he was so much unhappier. I was always having to grab his toys and give them to him. Now that he is forward facing he is very content.
kassie´s last blog ..Flying
yowsa, your son is a big guy! My 16 month old hasn’t even hit 22 yet. =)
My son is actually pretty content rear-facing, so it never occurred to me that there could be kids upset, which leads to moms not seeing the road which leads to…
You may have a point there!
Betsy´s last blog ..Ive Got Another Confession to Make
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