Our Mommyhood

Archive for September, 2010

The winner of our Reading Kingdom giveaway is: Susan (suelee1998 @ gmail.com)

Congratulations!

Please send your contact information to ourmommyhood@hotmail.com

A big THANK YOU to all who entered!

By Dana, Guest Writer, My 3 Little Ducks (@my3littleducks)

I love the ending of a good movie. Not the normal movie ending, but the tasty little tidbits that some directors give after the movie ends; a glimpse into the future of the characters you just fell in love with for two hours. The best movie ending EVER was The Hangover . If you have seen it you know exactly what I am talking about; what made it great was that everything was in “snapshot” format.

I feel like I walk through my day in that format taking snapshots of my kids, animals, friends, family, nature, etc. Just like all moms, I am absolutely my kids’ biggest fan and their own personal “crazy” paparazzi.

What if someone took snap shots of me during the day? What would they be? What would the caption say?

I’ll tell you what they would say…

Last month’s caption would have read:

Mom finds pile of dog poo at bottom of stairs in the AM and then pukes on it when trying to clean it up with a dust pan. 

Seriously… That did happen, and it did suck!

Because I was living, or at least trying to live life at the time I didn’t even think of it as memorable moment until my amazing friend was having a bad day and she called me and said “I just a had my-dog-pooed-on-the-floor-and-I-puked-on-it day.”  I was sad to hear she was having a bad day, but laughed because she referenced my bad day.

Who was there to capture that priceless poo moment? No one; even Colin, who was the only one up, didn’t see it go down.

What about all of those great times my friends and I sat around my table laughing, chatting and laughing. I would love to have pictures of that. Those great snapshot pictures where someone is leaning back laughing. Someone is pouring a glass of wine and someone is slapping the table because they are laughing so hard.

As mom’s we do so many things throughout the day that are sometimes bizarre, usually always needed, but most of the time never shared with anyone else except that lucky stranger that saw it go down. But almost always another mom would love to hear about, hopefully did the same thing and now can laugh about it.

Go SHARE!! SHARE with each other!! Tell stories, make fun of yourself, and laugh at yourself.  It takes a village to raise these amazing kids we all have. The biggest thing I’ve learned from my village of women is that we need each other. We need each other’s baggage. We need to laugh and cry together.

Whoever your village is, go take care of them! They will always take care of you.

by Brook, Contributor, Baby & Sofia (@babyandsofia)

I have taken on the green movement in the same way that many women treat their full-time jobs.  I research to find the best eco-friendly products and do-it-yourself projects. I recycle.  I avoid chemicals and plastics. I shop at the co-op instead of the grocery store. I only serve organic food to my baby.

I could go on, but don’t worry, I won’t.  I know that going green is a very personal decision, and one that has different degrees of meaning for different individuals.  I have the time and resources to find the “greenest” route that I can for my family, and I know that not all moms do.

I also know that many women are interested in living a more eco-friendly lifestyle, so I have put together a list of ten easy ways to be eco-chic.  Being green is easier than ever, and I hope these simple tips will help to lead you to a more environmentally-friendly life.

1. Buy a water filter

Say sayonara to thousands of plastics bottles and their harmful chemical effects. If you love having water on the go, Wal-Mart and Target both sell an adorable, reusable BPA-free plastic to-go cup for grown-ups.

2. Say no to plastic

Boycott plastic shopping bags at the market. (Personally, I think they should be illegal!)  Most grocers sell durable, reusable shopping bags for 99 cents.  I especially love Trader Joe’s bags because they are made from recycled plastic bottles.  If you are looking for something a little more high fashion, you would love the shoppers from the eco-chic company, Make Love Not Trash.

3. No spend day

Institute a spending freeze at least one day each week. If you mindfully choose to not spend money one day every week, you will minimize impulse buys and cut back on gas consumption.  Your pocketbook will be happier, too.

4. Get a plant

Reduce indoor air pollution and purify your home naturally by keeping at least one green houseplant in each room.  Any green plant is great, but the best indoor plants for this purpose are:

~ Areca palm
~ Rubber plant
~ Peace lily
~ Australian sword fern
~ English ivy
~ Janet Craig dracaena
~ Boston fern
~ dwarf date palm
~ reed palm
~ weeping fig

5. DIY cleaner

Instead of using a harsh, chemical cleaner everyday, make your own non-toxic multi-purpose cleaner.  I swear by this solution and use it for everything, from my baby’s highchair to the bathroom sink:
Simply mix together the following ingredients and pour into a medium-sized spray bottle:
~1 1/2 cups water
~1/2 cup white vinegar
~1 teaspoon biodegradable dish soap
~3/4 cup hydrogen peroxide
~splash of lemon juice

I love this cleaning solution so much, especially because there are no harsh chemical fumes for my baby to breathe in while I am cleaning up.

6. Used before new

When shopping for new books or toys for your little ones, stop at a consignment boutique before you go to Target or Wal-Mart.  My local boutique has a fabulous selection of books, toys and even clothes for babies and children, and they only carry items that are in great condition.  Not only will this save you money, but you are recycling in the truest sense of the word.  Added bonus: you can cut back on unnecessary waste generated from the excessive packaging that comes with most brand-new toys.

7. Give the gift of green

When I have a gift to give, I try to give a green gift. My favorites are the Silver Spiral Bowl from The Spiral Foundation, and Rich Rainforest Organic Gourmet Fudge, for sale at Organic Echo.

8. Unplug

Be mindful of energy consumption in your home.  One sneaky electricity consumer is your mobile phone charger. Unplug it when you are not using it.

9. Go local

Buy your produce locally. Your food will be much fresher and you’ll leave a smaller carbon footprint.  Farmers’ Markets and Co-ops not only have a fabulous selection of organic and locally-grown produce, but are way more fun than a trip to regular old grocery store.

10. DIY Beauty

If a mani/pedi is a must for you, like it is for me, don’t give it up. Instead, just bring your own nail polish.  OPI now uses a non-toxic formula, free of the toxic trio: toulene, formaldehyde, and Dibutyl Phthalate.  Or, if you are a do-it-yourself woman, give yourself an easy all-natural manicure:

1. File nails evenly, and follow with a thorough wash with warm water.
2. Soak fingertips in organic apple cider vinegar for 10-15 minutes.
3. Apply organic olive oil to entire nail bed and cuticle; massage to absorb and allow to dry.
4. Using a fine grade buffer, buff nails evenly, moving in one direction. (Not back and forth.)
5. If you prefer, apply non-toxic polish and allow to dry.
6. Moisturize hands with a fragrance free heavy hand cream.
7. Admire your gorgeous, all-natural manicured hands.

So these are my easy go-green tips!  What do you think?

What do you do to keep your home healthy and Earth-friendly?

By Michaela, Contributor, Mama Michie’s Musings, (@MamaMichie)

I coerced my husband to start playing a video game again after he had quit playing it almost two years ago. If you or any of your loved ones play World of Warcraft (also known as WoW or World of Warcrack), you know just how much of a life sucker time consuming this game is.

So why would I purposely talk my husband back into playing it?

Because he was bored, and constantly felt the need to tell me so.

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Ray had gotten me addicted to the crack that is WoW shortly after we met. He hesitantly showed me the game and the character he had. When I didn’t bolt out of his apartment, screaming, he figured it was safe and played while I watched. Eventually, he had me build a character on his account and that’s where my addiction to the game began. From there I got my own account and we would play together in the online world of the game. It was fun and entertaining, and although we were playing a game, we were spending time together.

Fast forward to two years ago.  We had been playing the game on and off for a few years and decided to finally call it quits. I was about to give birth to Noah and knew that we wouldn’t have time for WoW once he was born. Ray found other video games to play that weren’t as time consuming, but he always seemed to finish them quickly.  Too quickly.

And then a few months ago it began.

“Honey, I’m bored.”

“(Sigh)…there are no good games out, I’ve played them all. I’m bored!”

“Bored… so bored!”

And so it went… on and on and on and on. One day, I couldn’t take it any longer and talked him back into playing WoW. I knew exactly what his playing meant.  It meant that he would get sucked back into the game and I would no longer hear those two words.  Well at least not as often.

(Oh yeah and I started playing again too… but not nearly as much as my husband… someone has to care for our children after all!)

Does your other half get bored quickly and what does he do to occupy his time?

By Signe Whitson, Guest Writer, My Baby Clothes Boutique

Do you regularly leave a “Honey Do” that your husband routinely ignores?  Are emotionally-charged conversations often shut down with the words “Fine” and “Whatever?”  If you and your husband communicate anger and hostility through undone errands and botched chores, then passive aggression might be the third wheel in your marriage.

Passive aggression is a deliberate and masked way of expressing covert feelings of anger.  It involves a variety of behaviors designed to get back at another person without the other recognizing the underlying anger (Long, Long & Whitson, 2008).  While some parents believe that squashing anger is the “socially appropriate” thing to do for the sake of the children, unexpressed anger in the long run is destructive to intimacy in a marriage and a poor model of self-expression.

Do you recognize any of these passive aggressive phrases in your marriage?

“I’m Not Mad”

Passive aggression is motivated by a person’s fear that his life will get worse if others know about his anger.  To mask his feelings, the passive aggressive person relies on denial.  Even when questioned directly about the emotions that his body language and angry smile often betray, a passive aggressive person will insist, “I’m not mad” rather than seize the opportunity to communicate in a direct and emotionally honest way.

“Whatever”

Sulking and withdrawing from arguments are primary strategies of the passive aggressive person.  Rather than talk about what is bothering him, the passive aggressive person uses phrases like “Fine” and “Whatever” to shut down communication and repress anger.  The damage to the relationship occurs because there is nothing more powerful than an unexpressed thought over time.

“I’ll Take Care of It”

Weekend “To Do” lists are a common source of resentment in families.  No one relishes the thought of doing chores, yet everyone knows that in order to maintain a home and keep a family running smoothly, there are certain tasks that each family member must accomplish.  To keep the (short-term) peace, a passive aggressive person verbally complies with task lists and chore requests, but behaviorally delays their completion.  By procrastinating, postponing, and stalling, the passive aggressive person avoids getting into arguments but succeeds in frustrating others.

“I Didn’t Know What You Meant”

For those passive aggressive spouses who want to take their hidden hostility to the next level, intentional inefficiency is the name of the game.  Forget procrastination—performing chores in a timely but unacceptable manner is often a much more effective (and lasting) strategy for discharging anger in an indirect way and never being asked to perform that specific chore again.

For example:

Tom is watching football on TV when his wife asks him to run to the grocery store for a few staple items.  She hands him a list.  He agrees to go and turns off his game, in the last quarter.  He returns home with six boxes of Pop Tarts and two gallons of chocolate-flavored soy milk (the list said “Breakfast Foods”) along with a variety of other condiments and creatively wrong non-food items.  He flashes his wife an angry smile and feigns shock when she grumbles over his purchases.

Sound like an exaggeration?  It happened to my neighbor!  And guess what—she has never asked her husband to run to the store for her since!

Case in point; passive aggressive behaviors can be quite effective in the short-term when it comes to avoiding tasks and frustrating others.  In the long-term, however, unexpressed hostility is dangerously destructive to marriage and intimacy.  As the ultimate obstacle to honest communication and direct expression, passive aggression is the silent killer of healthy feelings among family members.

Signe Whitson is a Licensed Social Worker who has worked with families and children for over 10+ years. She specializes in passive aggressive behavior, she co-authored a book on this type of behavior, “The Angry Smile“.