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Debate: Baby Ear Piercing
August 31st, 2010 | 
Author: By Shandal, Contributor, My Life In 3D, (@Shandal)
I think many moms who have daughters have the same inner dialogue with themselves as I have had recently.
“I wonder when it would be appropriate to pierce my baby girl’s ears?”
My only daughter is 1 1/2. Quite frankly, I think my little drama queen would FREAK OUT from the pain! I know she would eventually calm down, but would she understand what’s going on?
Will she think that I’m a mean mama for making someone hurt her?
I need to ask myself if I would I really be doing this for her or me.
After much debate, I’ve come to the conclusion that I would want it for myself because I think it would look pretty; it’s not like my daughter has any idea what earrings even are! I’ve decided that I won’t have her ears pierced until she asks for that herself. That way my daughter knows what’s going on, and knows that it was her choice to have the pain involved with the piercings.
So, what are your thoughts on this controversial topic? Do you think it’s selfish for a parent to make that decision for their baby, or completely reasonable?
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I never thought earrings were that painful. Honestly.
You could call it selfish, but I had my Baby Girl’s (now 6) pierced when she was 3 months old. Why you ask? I have never know a little girl who didn’t have to argue to get her ears pierced. Usually they ask at an age that a parent doesn’t think they are responsible enough to take care of them themselves. Often then the parents hold them off for awhile or use it as an unrealistic leverage “If you can show me you can do your chores this next year without reminder, you will prove yourself responsible. Then you can get your ears pierced.” Let’s face it, that’s unrealistic.
I also thought about how many of my friends fidgeted with their earrings once their ears were pierced. Several of them got ugly enough infections, they had to let the holes close back up, and eventually beg for another shot with get them pierced. I can imagine that conversation.
My husband and I discussed getting her ears pierced, we decided: it would prevent arguments in the future. Together we could prevent infection. She would grow up not playing with the earrings, because she would not know they were there (until she was older).
To be honest, this has all worked out for us. She didn’t even scream when they got pierced. We were able to keep them infection free by following the basic directions. She never acted like she knew they were there until she was four. She still doesn’t play with them, in fact she likes to wear the same pair of earrings for months at a time. She loves having earrings.
I think piercing at 3 months was the right choice for our family. Call me selfish, I can take it.
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Can you believe that I had never really thought about that?! But it’s ok, I have a little boy and hopefully it’ll be a LONG time (never would be ok) before he asks to have an ear pierced
I’m going to guess that the majority of moms get the ears pierced before the baby can asks for herself. But you’re right that it’s probably because the mom thinks that it’ll be pretty. Is this similar to a needle?! I think the pain is immediate, but the baby doesn’t really remember it once it’s done. But then again, it’s purely for looks, perhaps letting the little girl decide for herself would be better… humm…
I know I had mine done before I was one. I clearly don’t remember the pain and I love that the piercing never ‘closes’. I did however get a second hole done on each ear about 10 years ago. I CLEARLY remember THAT pain! And the holes are gone…
Can’t wait to read the replies from the girl-mama’s
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I didn’t get my daughter’s ears pierced for two reasons. I was worried about the pain and possible infection and just didn’t want to add to all the things that could possibly go wrong… ya, I worry way too much sometimes. The second reason is because I can remember the day I got my ears pierced. My mom took me and I felt like such a grown up knowing that she finally agreed to take me. It was so exciting and I kind of want Abby to feel the same, if she chooses to get her ears pierced.
On the other hand, I do think it’s absolutely adorable when little ones have their ears pierced so even though it’s not my choice, I pass no judgement!
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I thought about it when M was born, but at that point, I was just plain too tired to do it. (Three kids under three. Tired!) Eventually, I decided to just let her decide when she was ready, which was this summer! She’ll be 7 in October, and a couple of months ago, she asked me about how old I was when I had mine done (I was 10), and if it hurt (told her it pinched for a minute, but then was fine, and if she could get hers done.
I did make her wait a couple of weeks once she decided she was ready- not because I wanted her to prove a level of responsibility, but because she was going on a trip with my dad and step-mom, and I didn’t want to add one more thing to the list of stuff they would need to deal with with my three kiddos! After they returned, we headed to the mall, she picked out her starter studs, and a couple clicks later – Done! She was so proud of herself, and her new earrings, and she does a great job remembering to clean them and turn them.
I totally get it, and agree that it’s super cute to see little ones with sparkling little stones, but we waited!
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Hmm… Well I don’t have daughters, so I don’t speak from experience. But I do think earrings look tacky on newborns and always have.
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I don’t know, it never occurred to me Not fetting my little girls ears pierced, in fact I am going to have it done at the pediatricians office when she is old enough, she’s only 6wks right now. I can totally understand though, not wanting to have them done, or waiting until she is old enough to make that decision herself.
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I had both of my daughter’s ears pierced at 4 months old. To be honest I really didn’t give much thought to the issue. Like one person above says, most girls want their ears pierced anyway. And, if by some reason they don’t, they can take them out and let them close up. I guess I would have an issue if parents were having their boys ears pierced (which wouldn’t surprise me these days). I guess it is all choice and maybe a little double standard. I can see both sides, but I honestly don’t see a huge deal in getting your daughter’s ears pierced if you want to.
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My husband and I made the decision to wait with the purpose of making it a special occasion. We have not set an age or responsibiity requirement, but it’s something we want our girls to be able to decide for themselves and we will celebrate it with a special day.
Honestly…I think the wee one would look cute with earrings – but I don’t want to be the one to take care of them. I remember when I first got my ears pierced – many moons ago – and they require a LOT of maintenance…no thank you!! I have enough to worry about!!
Until very recently, perhaps because my mom pierced all three of my sister’s ears before 4 months old and mine at 6 when I remembered how painful it was, I thought it was A-OK to pierce a baby’s ears. Now, though, I’m pretty dead set against it. It is, in it’s most basic form, body mutilation, and that’s a decision I want my daughter to make for herself.
When I shared this opinion with my mom, she told me I was a crazy hippie. LOL.
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Hubby and I have agreed that our daughter can get her ears pierced when she is old enough to ask. I remember getting my ears pierced and it was such a special day for me. If she decides to pierce her ears, I look forward to sharing it with her.
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Shan, As you know, I got Brooklynn’s ears pierced when she was 1 yrs old. Jay told me that it was up to me to get her ears pierced. Brooklynn did a tremendous job when we got them done, a little crying but nothing too dramatic. I did however, give her some tylenol before we got the job done. In my opinion, it is what you want to do with Dai’s ears. Waiting till she is able to understand what is going on might make it better, but at the same time, if she knows whats going on it might scare her even more. But, that is just me. I say, do what ever you want to with her ears! If you do wait, it might make a good mommy daughter spa day. make a day of it and take her out to get them done, then after go get mani/pedi’s!
luv ya
Momma Kell!!
I think it depends on family tradition and also personal preference really.
Where I am from (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil), little girls get their ears pierced at the hospital the day they are born. The mom’s just bring the earrings and it’s a done deal.
When my daughter was born here, I brought earrings to the hospital with me thinking it would be the same way. Silly me!!! When I gave the earrings to the nurse and asked her when they were going to pierce her ears, she gave me the weirdest look, and said that here they don’t do that… I though it was so strange, I don’t want my little girl to look like a boy without earrings. So 5 days later I took my newborn Sophia to get her ears pierced with some little stone earrings. The lady at the jewelry shop said she had never done anyone so little but she was so excited! Sophia was sleeping and when the lady pierced she DIDN’T even wake up!!! Best part about them being that little is that, they don’t know how to reach for their ears yet, so there is time to heal and you can treat it yourself.
Gosh Shandal – is it really controversial? I think people have way too much time on their hands if this is a controversy. Now, “Housewives of New Jersey?” – that’s what I call controversial . . .
I got my daughter’s ears pierced when she was 9 months old – it happened quickly – she cried for less than 15 seconds and then she sucked on a lollipop and was happy (I bet people might think it is also controversial that I comforted her with sugar at such a young age).
I think if you wait too long – its tougher. My mom took me to get my ears pierced at the mall at a Spencer’s when I was 4 years old. I still remember it – Spencer’s Toy and Hobby always had those freaky masks hanging around – like halloweeny type things – and they all still play a role in my traumatic memories. I went CRAZY.
I think there is like a window when they are young where you can do it – but then if you miss that window – you should probably wait until they want to do it on their own – that’s just my humble opinion.
xoxo,
Kiran
hello sister. I enjoyed reading this about ear piercing! I have never thought of that before. Mom pierced my ears when I was 4 or 5 I believe and I know I loved them. Whenever I see babies with pierced ears I feel strange. I think age 4, 5, 6 is a good age for ear piercing.
My uncle is an ear-nose-throat doctor and facial plastic surgeon. Had I even THOUGHT of piercing any of my three girls’ ears when they were babies he’d have killed me. He put the fear into his daughters and all the nieces. So many infections can result, not to mention that the placement can be off when they’re this little and end up looking odd when they’re adults. Luckily, I never wanted to. Infants with pierced ears was never my thing. I got mine done when I was 11. Hubby says 12. We’ll see which age wins out, not that there’s a big difference there.
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I couldnt do it. Mine were done when I was an infant and of course I do not remember but I would rather wait until my child was old enough to ask. I hate seeing my baby cry. I am a huge wimp.
I think it’s really of no consequence. My mom had both of my sisters ears pierced on the way home from the hospital and never thought anymore about it. I think that if she doesn’t like them at 5, 6, 7, 8, 12 or whatever she can always take them out. And if its because of the pain its no more painful than shots. Better now then at 8 when she can remember.
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I’m with you, I say wait until they can ask for them.
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I’m kind of the odd man out but I think infant ear piercing is strange. I think I’m destined for all boys but if I do have a girl I she will need to be old enough to take care of her earlobes to prevent infection.
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First, t think it is a personal decision whether or not to have your baby/infant’sears pierced. Admittedly, I know a lot of people have strong feelings when to pierce a child’s ear. “Let them decide” is being replaced by parental decision when mommy intuition knows, “earlier is better” from either personal or friend’s experiences of unpleasant childhood ear piercing. I think it just depends on your own personal choice whether or not you wish your baby or little girl to have pierced ears. Some feel perceived gender of their child is important while others find it a cultural tradition where all infant girls have pierced ears.
Second, we live in a culture dominate by males and newborn baby girls with earrings signifies they are loved by their family regardless of being a girl. This silent pressue comes from others seeing your little girl without earrings and in their culture norms wondering if she is loved or not. Of course, she is, but to them seeing her without earrings calls this into a question in their minds.
Third, I pierced our oldest daughter’s ears when she was two weeks old and our youngest at just days old. We found an experienced individual where they specialized in infant piercing. My advice is to do them one at a time to insure they are perfectly centered. This may take 15 seconds longer, but will make sure they are not crooked later in life.
Fourth, how early to do it? Well, my mom pierced my ears when I was 2 days old as and I’ve loved it….I think earrings on little girls are adorable! If you don’t know how she’d look at any age, then hold up a pair of your studs to your daughters ear and decide for yourself. Many moms including myself like the look of earrings on babies and little girls for no specific reason, but like how light plays off a simple gold ball on a bald baby girl or small gold hoop poking through the hair of a toddler. Cerebrally, as mothers of girls of all ages, we know it celebrates their femaleness and femininity. After all, they are little girls, right?
Lastly, I think down deep, if you’ve been thinking about it, then your mommy intuition is really telling you earlier is better to pierce your dd’s ears now. I’d say go ahead and have it done soon and not worry about it anymore giving your daughter the “gift of pierced ears” now. She’ll thank you later when all the other girls in see her with earrings and are envious of you being such a smart mommy for doing it when you could care for them and she didn’t remember having them done.
If any moms are thinking about it, then please write me an e-mail and I’ll send you our ped’s suggestions for moms having their dd’s ears pierced.
Amy
amyswor@hotmail.com .