Our Mommyhood

Archive for July, 2010

By Betsy, Contributor, Funky Mama Bird, (@funkymamabird)

I’ve never really had trouble making friends. I’ve met people in school, in work, at the gym. I’ve even made some friends through blogging that became Real Life friends. So I’m not sure exactly what happened, but somehow after I had my son I stopped making friends easily. Part of it is the gap between my old friends and me now. Most of them are childless or have older kids; there isn’t anyone in the got-to-get-home-for-that-nap-or-all-hell-breaks-loose phase, so we don’t relate well anymore. More than likely, part of it is also the fact that I no longer hang out in coffee shops and attend concerts regularly. I mean, it was a lot easier to project an image of Funky Single Girl than it’s become to project Funky Mama with Toddler in Tow. Sure we’re all at the same playground, but not because we chose it for the height of the foam on the lattes, or the abstract art on the walls. And while I’m all about my son making some friends, he’s not at an age where I can drop him off at a friend’s house and go do my own thing. So if he’s hanging with a buddy, chances are I’m hanging with the mom. So I’d really rather make some friends with whom I have things in common, including a toddler, rather than the other way around.

I also know I’m not alone in this. I’ve read tons of blog entries about the making of Mom friends and how hard it is. I’ve even heard one mom go so far as to say she’s contemplating whacking some women over the head and dragging them home with her, she’s so desperate.

So here’s what I’m thinking; we put out some personal ads for Mom friends. Sort of like dating ads, only aimed at other moms. This way, we can weed through potential friends from the comfort of our living rooms and sweat pants without having to drag our kids off to yet another playground while we stand on the fringes of a mom group hoping to find a way in.

Here’s how I think mine would go:

Funky Mama Seeks Friend for Play Dates and Drink Nights

Do you enjoy romping through the splash pad at the park? Perhaps letting your hair down at the bar to gripe about how your husband got out of changing yet another dirty diaper? Maybe you have a child in the toddler age range?

I am the mother of a toddler and enjoy outings at the park, tattoos, SpongeBob and stiff drinks. I’m looking to meet another mom who would enjoy joining us on our outings, or dancing the night away while our husbands stay home with the sleeping tots. Perhaps you’re into extended babywearing, or you know all the words to the Gummie Bears theme song? Whatever your interest, we’d love to meet you at the swings some Saturday afternoon.

Serious inquiries only – we are looking for lasting friendships.

Think it will work? I mean, I’m not above clubbing someone over the head if need be, but I thought a gentler approach might be a better first step. After all, it might be kind of hard to get to know someone if she’s unconscious on your floor and bleeding from her ear. Although think what a conversation starter that would be!

The winner of the Paper to Pearls Necklace giveaway is: Shannon from The Swanson Family!!

Congratulations!

Please send us an email at ourmommyhood@hotmail.com with your mailing information!

Thanks to all who entered!

by Megan M., Contributor, All a Bunch of Momsense (@taxmegan)

I’ve seen it posted on Facebook, especially on Mondays.

“I owe, I owe, it’s off to work I go.”

The reality is we do owe. We owe money to the mortgage lender, the auto lender, the student loans, the credit card company. As a society, we owe. And frankly, it stinks!

I’m ok with certain debt – I didn’t just have the money to plunk down for us to buy our house, so we obtained a mortgage. That’s “ok” debt to me. We’re building equity in property, the interest that we’re paying is at a good rate and is tax deductible* for us, and I’m comfortable with that. Student loan debt doesn’t bother me to much either – again, there’s the tax deductible* aspect, coupled with education being instrumental in obtaining a good job.

But then, there’s the nasty one.

“Unsecured Personal Debt” – often obtained in the form of a credit card.

The interest rates can be astronomical. Annual fees, over-limit fees, late payment fees; even with the recent legislative changes that set limits on these different aspects of credit card usage, they can add up quickly. The key? Moderation. Use a credit card if you know you can pay it off at the end of the billing cycle, or in a reasonably short time frame. Be sure to pay on time, every time. If you can pay more than the minimum payment due, that’s fabulous.

Are you carrying balances on more than one card? Wanting to pay them off? Put as much money as you can towards the one with the highest rate. Once it’s paid off, apply what you’ve been paying on it to the card with the next highest rate.

Finally, be aware that “settling” your debt with these lenders usually results in a taxable* income. The settlements they offer are a cancellation of debt, and a form 1099-C will be issued to you and the IRS. You’ll have to report the part of the debt that they write off as income, unless you are eligible for exclusion.

Even “good” debt can create stress if the payment amounts are more than you can realistically afford, or if your circumstances change. Any time you decide to take on a payment, be sure to evaluate how it will truly fit into your budget. Don’t stretch to far to keep up with the Jones’s – I’ve been known to fall on my face a time or two when reaching for something that’s just out of grasp!

*Check with your tax professional to determine the deductibility of mortgage and student loan interest, and impact of cancelled debt, as applies to your individual tax situation.

Kristi, Guest Writer, Live and Love…Out Loud (@TweetingMama)

Motherhood is a gift. Though extremely taxing, it’s one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have. We spend years unconditionally loving, nurturing and encouraging our children. Our mission? To raise responsible, honest and compassionate adults who contribute their very best to society. Sounds easy, right?

I hate to break it you folks, but somewhere between infancy and adulthood our precious bundles of joy morph into hormonal teenage nightmares. Believe it or not, the teenage years put the “terrible two’s” to shame. Really. Lucky for you I’m here to help. These super awesome tips will take your parenting to the next level and bring you one step closer to surviving the “Terrible Teen’s”. You can thank me later.

1. Get lots of rest, plenty of exercise and eat a well-balanced meal. Parenting teens is a full time job – one that requires a quick wit, stamina and a lot of creativity. Let’s face it, you’ll need all the energy you can muster to keep up with those crazy kids.
2. Invest in a pair of commercial grade ear plugs. Seriously folks, teenagers are loud. Period.
3. Car, cell phone, keeping up with the latest fashions… Providing for your teen’s “needs” requires a lot of moolah. Get a second job. The additional income will come in handy. And the time you’ll spend away from your kid? Score!
4. Teenagers are like cows. They’ll graze all day if you let them. Hide the snacks. Unless you’re on a diet. If that’s the case, never mind.
5. Put an end to your teen’s hour-long showers today! Remember: The water shut-off valve is your friend.
6. Forget bribery. Threats of public embarrassment work best. An impromptu visit to your teen’s school should do the trick. Showing up with a head full of curlers and your ratty old pajamas requires extra effort, but the rewards are tenfold.
7. Grow some thick skin. It’s totally normal for parents and teenagers to butt heads. They’re raging with hormones and experiencing physical and emotional changes. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. Look, it’s about time you “man up” and grow some thick skin. It’s your only defense against the inevitable “I-hate-you’s.”
8. Last but not least, schedule an appointment with your doctor. Pronto. Prescription meds are the way to go! By the way, they’re for you. Not the kid.

Armed with these super awesome parenting tips, you’re sure to survive the “Terrible Teen’s”. Unfortunately I can’t say the same for your teen.

………………………………………

Kristi’s navigating a sea of teenage hormones, dirty diapers and a family with ever-changing needs and finding humor in it all. She blogs her butt off at Live and Love…Out Loud. Oh, and she loves her kids. Really.

by Honey B, Contributor, The Honey B (@thehoneyb)

Sometimes you come across a warning on a post about What Does a Mucus Plug Really Look Like Anyway? and there is the disclaimer at the top about TMI, and a plea to the father of said blogger begging him to please skip this post?? Oh the joys of public blogging…

So it got me thinking… As bloggers, part of the joy we get from blogging is sharing our stories, the things we struggle with, the daily trials of living, the victories- everything! There are many bloggers who share on the web because they can’t share these things elsewhere, and yet we all know that being open with your details (name, kids names, location, etc.) adds a degree of vulnerability to what we do.

It’s always interesting to see bloggers different approaches to the blogosphere, and the amount of transparency they choose to have on the web. So many blogs in the MommyBlogger niche start out as a one-stop shop for putting pictures and videos of the kids online for family and friends to see. The first blog I ever regularly followed belonged to my sister-in-law Belle, keeping in touch with family despite a 1500 mile distance- but as I write this I remember now that the blog was hacked at some point, and is now password-protected. Hmm.

Everyone makes their choice for any number of reasons- I chose to blog anonymously because its an outlet, my diary. I tell very few people about my blog which means that asking permission to use their names would blow my cover- so they have nicknames. My location is probably findable if someone really searched for it, but I definitely don’t advertise where I live beyond the region. But those restrictions allow me to blog what is truly in my heart- the things I wonder about, struggle with, am excited about- which allows me to really connect with my readers.

But everyone makes their choices for certain reasons.

Why do you blog- anonymously or not- the way you do?