Megan, Guest Writer, Twinsomnia
When my husband and I first found out we were going to have twins, we were so overcome by the excitement of it all that our brains stopped working.
That lasted for a few weeks.
After that, we emerged from twin shock and started to think logistics. The first point being – how in the heck were we going to afford all of these kids? And by kids, I mean the still-gestating twins and their already-existing 12 month old big sister.
When it comes to producing offspring, you can’t say we’re not overachievers.
At the time, my husband was running his own home remodeling business, and I was working a 9 to 5 (more like 8-7) gig as a junior associate at a big law firm. We were doing just fine financially, so I had no worries that we’d be able to swing a couple of extra kids, no problemo. But then I got out my calculator and multiplied the cost of Ashley’s weekly daycare by 3. And then I proceeded to freak.
Good grief, the cost of 3 infants in daycare is astronomical! If only my egg had known before spontaneously dividing into two separate babies, I’m sure it would have acted more responsibly.
But what was done was done. So, I started researching alternatives. We flirted with a home daycare for awhile, but frankly that wasn’t much cheaper. We researched nannies, but just found the whole process overwhelming. And then it hit us.
Maybe I should quit my job and stay home with the kids.
And then it hit us again. Me quitting my job would be the most financially foolish thing we had ever done. Even more so than that time we dropped a couple hundred dollars on a Roomba.
I didn’t want to believe it. But you can’t argue with the facts. I was a lawyer. I had job security. I carried the health insurance. I had student loan debt from law school that needed to be paid off.
And, I made more money. And, if we were really trying to do what was best for the kids, we needed to think of our financial future. And, even though we tried to dodge it, it hit us square on the nose this time. Maybe my husband should give up his business and stay home with the kids instead.
I can’t say that the thought of it didn’t hurt. Even with all the facts laid out nicely before me, a huge part of me was silently shouting “But I’m the moooooooooooom! I’m supposed to stay home! I want to stay home!” But life doesn’t always work out the exact way we pictured it to be.
And for that, I’m grateful. Because in these non-stereotypical roles my husband and I have taken on, we’ve challenged ourselves and grown more as individuals, as a couple and as a family than we ever would have if we’d gone down a more comfortably familiar path. And at the end of the day, we’re pretty lucky that one of us is able to stay home with the kids at all, even if it can’t be me.
Plus, my husband rocks the stay-at-home-dad thing. He might not always think so, but I do. And I’m pretty sure our three kids agree with me
Twitter: taxmegan
I’m really jealous that you guys are rockin’ the stay at home Dad gig! Honestly, it’s our ideal situation, but financially we just can’t make it on my salary alone yet. YET. Now that the kids are in school, once we hit that point where we can make it on my income, we may still look at him going to part time, or doing work in the school system, so that we can really enjoy our summers as a family.
As the Big Sister of twin boys (although I was almost 3 when mine showed up), I have a pretty good feel of how things go at your house – good luck! And congrats, nothing like it.
Megan M.´s last blog ..A little bit of this…
I think it’s great that you have Dad at home with the kiddos. Any parent – doesn’t matter which – is better than a daycare where they don’t love your kids.
Ooohhh. I think i just opened myself up to more hate mail. Oh well.
Bethany´s last blog ..On Globes And Pencil Sharpeners
We are so very much in the same position! Our first was just 17 months old when our twins were born! And you made a good decision. ANY parent staying home with the kids, mom or dad, is astronomically better than daycare.
And I totally agree with Bethany – daycare’s do not LOVE the kids like a parent.
Jesslyn´s last blog ..Dress Your Man – Shoelaces!
Hey you! It is great to read the story behind your decision. Great writing, as always!
Steph´s last blog ..Haircut
We made the transition to me working full time and my husband staying home with the kids one year ago. I’d lie if I said it hasn’t been difficult. But it made the most sense, and the feeling of having someone home with the kids instead of them being at daycare is wonderful.
Katherine´s last blog ..Archway
Twitter: BestofFates
Sigh – those silly eggs, never thinking things through.
Well, it worked out great in the end, so you showed them!
I’ve always admired stay at home parents – mom or dad! It’s a hard job, and severely underpaid. I was totally thinking about the health insurance on your end, with the twins coming and all the docs appointments needed when kids are little.
The Roomba? Seriously a Fail? DAMMIT!
Twitter: julialadewski
we are rocking the SAHD gig too!! my husband slowly moved out of his job a few years back and when we had #2, it just worked better. excellent post… it can work and even though I sometimes wish i was home, we are a thriving family!!
Julia
http://www.workwifemomlife.com
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by julialadewski and Lori , OurMommmyhood. OurMommmyhood said: Home is Where Your Husband Is http://bit.ly/biQ79V New Post about a SAH Dad! [...]
My husband stays home, too! It breaks my heart that I’m not home with my kids…it really is the longing of my heart. But God made it very clear when I was pregnant last year that this was right for our family for now.
Thank you for this post that reminded me I am not alone!
Loved it!
Sounds like a great family, and a great husband!
Laura in Cancun´s last blog ..I’m Slowly Turning into a Mexican
Twitter: thehoneyb
We’ve talked about the SAHD thing too, and its definitely on our radar…with the going rates for daycare, Marmot’s salary would cover daycare, but once we have a second baby, its not worth it to have him work!
Honey B.´s last blog ..House Update