Our Mommyhood

By Honey B, Contributor, “The Honey B“ (@thehoneyb)

I’m always completely intimidated by people who love to cook.

Our Mommyhood confession: I am not a cook. I hate cooking. And I have had more than my fair share of cooking disasters, a long list that may or may not include something I’ve cooked that made the dog sick.

I have never liked cooking, and consider people who do to be slightly bizarre. But as it is necessary for the survival of the members of my household, and I cannot possibly be the only one out there that hates cooking… here are some things I have learned:

Line every pan with aluminum foil. Nothing is worse than a total kitchen disaster so bad that you have to chip away at the bottom of the pan with a butter knife. I hate cooking almost as much as I hate doing dishes, but the combination is just miserable. Save yourself the suffering and line your pans.

In a pinch, never underestimate the power of sliding a frozen lasagna into your own pan. It will cook perfectly and you will be thought to be an amazing cook. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and serving McDonald’s chicken nuggets because you forgot company was coming is just uncomfortable.

Always have a back-up location to discard the evidence. I fed a particular batch of over-cayenne-peppered deviled eggs to the neighbor’s dog. Marmot would have seen the evidence in the garbage and bonus- if I have to suffer listening to the dog bark incessantly when he’s outside, I might as well smile in the knowledge that he’s outside because his gas is so putrid.

And finally, my last piece of advice…straight from the lips of my mother Queen B.

Set the expectations low. When I met Marmot, the first meal I ever made him was bag salad with fat free ranch dressing and microwaved baked potatoes with fat free sour cream. To this day, he was says it was the most awful meal he’s ever pretended to enjoy. We’ve been married for 2 ½ years and he still thinks my cooking repertoire is limited to frozen pizza, spaghetti, and takeout. This is a good thing, because when I do something special like make a dessert, he is absolutely floored. Who says you can’t have mystery in a marriage?!

And because I’m always looking for ways to make cooking just a little bit less miserable…what is your best cooking tip for the non-cook?

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