World’s Best Lice Picker – The Best Job I Never Knew I Wanted
June 7th, 2010 | 
Author: By Poppy, Guest Writer, Funny Or Snot (@funnyorsnot)
In my high school yearbook when I was asked what I would be doing in 10 years, I was quoted as saying “married with 16 kids, be a housewife, PTA President, drive a station wagon, be spanked when I’m bad, and have to beg whenever I want a new dress”. I was joking. At that point in my life it never occurred to me that I would ever want children, let alone stay home with them full time.
Ten years later, I had one child that was a really easy-going kid. I had a great support system and had no problems working full time and raising her, even though I worked a crazy schedule. Fast-forward to my second kid, who wasn’t nearly as compliant, and I started to get a bit frazzled as I burned through my circle of sitters because the kid seldom slept. My husband and I both worked a late swing shift until 03:00 in the morning. We needed a sitter mostly while the kids slept, which should have been an easy job for very willing grandparents.
The plan was to work until 03:00 a.m. and I’d stay where the kids were until 06:30 a.m. I’d get my daughter ready and drive her to school and hope the baby would take a nap so I could catch another few hours during the school day and before I had to go back to work. More often than not, something would thwart that plan. My personal favorite?
HEAD LICE
Have you ever shuffled into Walgreens sans bra in your best sweats with bedhead carrying an infant in a carseat and holding the hand of a 6 year old in pajamas and have to ask where they keep the Rid? I think my picture is circulating in the Best of Walmart email somewhere, but really I was at Walgreens. Don’t judge me until you have to pick 10,000 nits and their eggs with your hands covered in pesticide while you are breastfeeding.
My husband tried working an opposite day off pattern, but then we didn’t see each other. I wasn’t opposed to paying someone to watch my kids, but I was afraid. There were times I fought the urge to shake my own child so I was afraid someone who didn’t love her might hurt her. We decided that someone who loved her was me. My very supportive co-workers threw me one heck of a going away party that included margarita’s in a fishbow,l and 9 months later I was a full time stay at home mom of 3 children instead of just the two. Then the unthinkable happened. The single event that brought down my MILF status exponentially:
I was handed the keys to my 7 passenger Toyota Sienna minivan.
It has been almost 4 years now that I have been home full time with my kids.
Sometimes I’m embarrassed when someone asks me what I do. Sometimes I long for adult interaction other than the computer. Sometimes I miss having a defined purpose other than laundry.
But most of the time, I feel lucky to be home with them. It was easier to live on one income than I thought it would be.
One of my greatest obstacles that I didn’t anticipate was reminding people in my life that I didn’t quit my job to watch their children. I don’t mind helping out every once in a while, but if I wanted to run a daycare, I would open one and charge for my services.
My question to other stay at home mom’s out there is: Is it everything you expected? Do you ever long to go back to work? Do you find people take advantage of you if you let them?
Those that are working: Do you long to be at home with your kids or do you prefer to work? Would the monotony of playdates and carpool drive you crazy?
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I’m a SAHM and I LOVE it! I’m surprised sometimes how much I love it, and sometimes I feel guilty about not wanting to go back to work and contribute money to the household. I feel so lucky that I don’t have to go to work when so many of my friends have to. I love being domestic and crafty and looking after my kids and my man.
It must be frustrating to have friends taking advantage of you being at home. I don’t have that at all, but then most of my closest friends are either at home too or only working part time and have family in town who take their kids.
I do have days when I yearn for “alone” time and get irritated by the seemingly endless chores, but even that has eased since my younger one started pre-school a couple of days a week.
It took a while for me to form friendships outside of the working world so I seriously think that some people thought I sit around all day and eat bon bons while watching Oprah. Ok, I have spent my fair share of time on the computer lately, BUT it is usually in the early mornings, during nap time, waiting during appts, and after they go to bed!
It took a while to learn to say no, but I’m getting better.
I am dying to be at home with my son. Not only do I miss him but I think many times a day “man, stay at home moms have one over on me.”
Now, I do not think it’s easy for Stay at home Moms. But to be able to tackle emergencies without the guilt of taking time off unexpectedly or trying to multitask? I’ve conducted trainings on my cell with a screaming baby in the back of the car on the way to the doctor’s office for a sick visit. I would have vastly preferred just the screaming baby. I feel like I’m constantly behind….on everything.
One of these days I’ll win the lottery and all will be well.
I completely understand the juggling act as I was a working mom for 8 years before I decided to stay home. I was really hoping that a job share or part time position could be worked out with my employer but there were contractual issues and I was stuck in a holding pattern for over 2 years waiting and hoping. I always felt like I was two steps behind at work and at home and something had to give.
Though I wasn’t crazy enough to try and keep up with 2 blogs and Twitter.
I”m w/ KLZ on this one… i’m a full time working mom and it’s tough. don’t get me wrong, i love working and i (secretly) love to get out of the house when said 17 month old isn’t napping well. i feel like work is my escape route. but 9 times out of 10… ok, 99 times out of 100, i would love to be home more. to put my kids to bed, to eat dinner with them, to teach them more, go on nature walks in the afternoon.
i’m sure being a SAHM is tough… i did it both times when i was on maternity leave. so i know it’s not easy. but sometimes to NOT have the pressure to go to work would be great.
Glad I’m not the only one in this boat. Doctor’s appointments, dishes and making dinner sometimes feel like they will be the death of me.
I do have fantasies of running away sometimes when things go south
I do sometimes miss working and will probably return to the work force when they are a little more self sufficient.
I’m a working mom and would kill to be a SAHM. I’m currently working on 2 at home businesses and trying to get them off the ground so that I can be a sahm. I am flooded with guilt every day. I like my job, I like my coworkers, I even like getting out of the house every day but none of that compares to my desire to be at home with my child. It’s just not feesible right now but hopefully in a year or so it will be. I never thought I’d want to stay at home but it’s all I dream about. I know it will be tough and I’ll probably want to throw in the towel every once in a while but I so envy you getting to be at home.
I did blog about one of my ways I’m trying to be a SAHM if you want to check it out.
SAHM here. Before kids, I worked for a man that could easily be compared to Satan himself. It was a high-stress, long hour, no recognition but great pay kinda gig. Now, I have a high-stress, long hour, no recognition, NO pay gig! But I really love it, and I know how lucky I am to be able to stay home.
Staying home is challenging because it’s often very boring and repetitive. You cook, clean, do laundry, take care of the kids. A friend of mine once mentioned it’s hard because you have to be “on” all the time. I agree. Seriously…it is the HARDEST job I have ever had. My hubby knows how hard it is, and so I’m lucky in that sense. But there’s never any breaks, no hour lunch, and no start and end time. It’s rough, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Laundry never ends which is why I appreciate you flipng it off. My husband is very supportive too because he grew up in a very traditional home and he values the role of the mother at home. He is also glad that he doesn’t have to do nearly as much as he did when I was working too. Though he didn’t have it nearly as rough as I did, he felt the pull too and could tell how stressed I was.
I don’t think I would have liked it nearly as much before the internet
This is a GREAT question and a GREAT post! I am currently in my last year on the job (although nobody but my husband, mom, and I know it!). I never thought I’d want to be a SAHM… I actually used to bash them. I was even fine when my daughter was an infant… but now that she’s a toddler, I miss her more and more while I’m at work; I miss seeing her grow, learn new things, react to things! I should also be a “retired” working mom by March of 2011!
It’s great to have that “secret”. So you have about 9 months to go? It will probably seem forever just like being pregnant. Congrats on your retirement.
I never thought it before… but now, I would love to be a SAHM. I shouldn’t complain, I know that. I work for a large corporation which gives me some advantages. I work from home 2 days a week, 3 days in the office. Little G goes to day care 2 days and grandmas 1 day. It’s the best of both worlds… sort of. My boss hates that I work from home, but company policy allows it… so she makes it difficult for me. While I’m home I have guilt over not doing the work I should, and not spending the time I should with my little guy. When I’m at work I have guilt that’ I’m not with him. When I think about staying home I worry that I wouldn’t be a good SAHM. Ugh! It’s just guilt all around.
I shouldn’t complain, I know that, I have it good and so I put up with all the crap. And someday… when I don’t carry our health insurance… then I’ll quit this mess and stay home!
You don’t have to bake your own bread and do crafts 24/7 to be a good SAHM. I’m completely average, and my kids are clean, respectful, and well mannered despite the content of my blog. The mom guilt is going to hit you at all angles no matter what you decide to do.
I’m glad your company allows a little flexibility in your schedule, but it’s too bad your boss is a pain. I wish I would have had the option to at least try something like that out. I was lucky in that my husband has great health benefits.
Great post, Poppy. I’m about to lose my part-time gig and be full time stay at home. Next week. We’ll compare notes. If I can find mine. And they’re not covered in tomato sauce.
Oh good. Just think of the additional opportunities G will have to antagonize you with your increased presence at home. I am one excited follower.
My husband and I decided before we got married that I would be first and foremost a mother to our children, (once they came). It’s absolutely the most difficult job in the world, not only because you are on duty 24-7 as Natalie said, but because every decision you make, every reprimand you hand out, every example you set will go into shaping the little people you brought into the world and/or agreed to raise lovingly for their entire childhood and beyond. I haven’t worked a day outside the home since our first was born.
Living on one income is insanely difficult sometimes, but when my husband and I look at what we’re sacrificing, (vacations, toys, eating out as often as we’d like…), it is a far more reasonable sacrifice than to leave the raising of our children to someone else.
I remind myself daily that I am not a stay at home housekeeper, but a mother. My primary job is to raise my kids to be good, respectable people, and to be the kind of mother they would choose to have.
It’s definitely something you and your husband have to be on the same page about. I can’t imagine what it would be like if you didn’t have that support. I’m going to tell my husband I’m not the stay at home housekeeper the next time he teases me about something
I worked full-time until my son was two, at a crazy high-stress job where I sometimes worked 12 hours.
Then one day I came home, almost at bedtime, and my two-year-old son yelled at me, “Work! Work! Work! All you do is work.” I gently told him that yelling at other people was not ok behavior then went into my bedroom and broke down into sobs on the bed.
I was able to change to a 4 day work-week at that time, which felt better.
And I’ve managed to stay under 40 hours a week mostly since then.
And it was always my to work – I was going to be POWER MOM. But then I was POWER MOM and I hated it. I missed my son. I was stressed and stained.
I never got to do the stay-at-home thing. My salary was always the breadwinner one.
But I made what adjustments I could, and am grateful for them.
I would love nothing more than to stay at home with my kids. I did it for about 3 years, and I miss it. I was so sad when I had to go to work. Since I have to work, I make the best of it. It’s what our family needs financially right now. But staying at home for the time I did was one of the best things I have ever done.