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This Ain’t Baby Weight
March 31st, 2010 | 
Author: By Stephanie
I woke up a little pissed frustrated this morning because I’m still fat. I’ve been dieting for close to eighteen hours now and nothing is happening. It’s bullshit.
I’m kind of an “immediate gratification” type of a gal, especially when it comes to “not outweighing my husband” or “no longer sweating when I eat”. And really, if I am to be expected to live on spring mix greens, half an apple slice, and a tablespoon of water a day, I should think I’d be down twenty, thirty pounds by now.
I’m not really sure how this “dieting” nonsense works ,as I’ve never been fat before. I was thin my whole life until my body was invaded by many a fetus* and I thought, “Oh! Eating for two!” But I was totally kidding myself about that; it was pretty obvious I was eating for, like, ninety.
And then, to make matters even more weighty (groan), when I was on bed rest in the hospital for several endless weeks, the Gestapo nursing staff watched me like a hawk to make sure I didn’t so much as walk to the ladies room– so there went the exercise**. And (this is so obvious I really don’t even need to mention it) the hospital food was so horrifying and I was so worried about the baby that I really didn’t have a choice but to order pizza every other night. And eat it alone. In the dark. While weeping and berating myself.
Now the time has come to shed the sixty*** pounds of “baby weight” (which is really on the cusp of no longer being able to be legitimately labeled “baby” weight) and I’m not sure how this is all going to go.
Things I’ve never even considered eating before are beginning to make my mouth water. You know; things like fish. Baby food. Wheat germ. The bed spread.
I’ve heard it said that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Unfortunately for me, I’m not so much interested in being “stronger” as I am in “eating some Chinese takeout”.
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*Lest you think I have a quasi-valid excuse here, I was never pregnant with multiples. I have a three year old and an eleven month old. But still.
**Isn’t it cute how I pretend that I actually would have exercised had it been permitted?
***Eighty
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I would give you the cheerleader-in-me side that i usually give most people. The one that says “You can do it! I did! I *did* have multiples, and then another pregnancy after that. Then I lost fifty pounds. You can do it, too!! YAYAYAYYYYY TEAM!!!”
But, I’m afraid you might smack me.
But seriously. Don’t give up on yourself, girl. It’s hard, totally. But worth it. You’re worth it.
I think I love Stephanie! I can totally relate. I didn’t gain too much in the first trimester due to morning sickness, but I made up for it later. I noticed after pregnancy the first 25 lbs dropped off in two weeks (like nothing!) and I thought – oh, this is awesome. I’ll lose all the weight right away and then even lose that other niggling 5 lbs that I’d put on a few years back (I had a cousin who lost an extra 10 while eating whatever she wanted nursing – I figured genetically I was golden). Except I wasn’t. I went to my 6 week check up and only another 2 lbs was gone.
And then it came back.
And then it was gone and I lost a few more – ok, we’re in range now.
And then it came back.
It’s 13 months later and I’m at the same point I was 2 weeks after birth and thinking I probably can’t call this baby weight. It’s not a lot of extra weight – but enough. Enough to make me really worry that if I want to have more children, will I carry this much extra weight after all and be wearing my maternity pants when the next one is 13 months?
So I’m guessing it doesn’t count as “baby wieght” when your only child is 22 months either. Dang it!!
This post made me laugh. I am in your boat too, it’s a constant battle. One I WILL overcome…..eventually.
OMG! I love you! I could have written this entire post myself. Number one, I was JUST thinking this morning about how I’ve been doing the 30-Day Shred for two whole days now and I should be at LEAST fifteen pounds lighter. Damn it. Number two, I’m totally giving you an “amen sista” when it comes to sweating when you eat. I never. EVER. thought that would happen to me, but there was a point when it did. Ugh.
I have three boys: ages four, two, and six months. With son #1 I gained 80 pounds, and managed to lose it all before becoming pregnant with son #2, with whom I gained 90. (I eat for two when I’m pregnant also … two big burly lumberjacks, that is.) I had lost all but ten pounds of THAT baby weight when I got pregnant with son #3, who caused me to pack on another 70 pounds. And here we are, nearly seven months from giving birth, and I’m still 55 pounds from my goal weight.
But dude. I saw a guy on TV last night who lost over FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS – without surgery. So if he can lose that much, damn it, I’m SO losing this 50.
You can definitely do it! It doesn’t have to be all about deprivation, just portion control and moderation. Don’t think of it as a diet, think of it as just a lessening of the foods that you eat anyway. Figure out what your calorie range should be and try to stay within your limits. If you want a scoop of Ben & Jerry’s at night then have one, but only have one, and make up for it by eating a lighter lunch or dinner or not having that extra snack. I don’t believe in feeling deprived, that’s just a recipe for disaster. Besides, who could possibly live without chocolate?
I am certain that 7 years after my son was born…aka today my baby fat is just fat fat and I need to work harder at getting back to my old self…granted I am sure I will never be 125 lbs ever again but I am not meant to be 199lbs ….yep and I have lost 12 lbs …. OUCH
dieting sucks …my tread mill is mean to me and I just have so much other stuff I want to do
I promise you can do it! I was at the doctor’s office, sick.as.a.dog, last October & the nurse asked me how much I weighed. I told her I didn’t know, so she weighed me (I should have just made up a number.) I told her “If I weigh more than [blank amount] I’ll kill myself” (b/c I knew I was already overweight at that number.) I step on the scale & 10 lbs higher than what I thought was already a mortifying weight!!! Enter awkward moment between me & nurse! She said don’t worry, I’ll just lie on your sheet. Great, I’m so fat she had to lie! That did it for me! And it sucked! Until in January I went to Gap and bought jeans 2 sizes smaller than what I normally wore! It was awesome! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT! And like Toni said, you are worth it!
I just posted an inquiry on my blog to see if anyone would be interested in participating in a weight loss challenge on my blog… maybe you would be interested????
I am so here! I loved your post! And I feel your pain. I can not stand to diet. And I’ve been having the same problems, the more I try to diet the more I want to eat! Mine have been the children and the thyroid problem I’m dealing with. It stinks! But you do it! Hang in there! Right? This is what we are suppose to say to each other!
Thanks for sharing and being real! I love it!
I was JUST thinking to myself this morning, (my children will be 2 on Saturday), that the 35 extra pounds I am carrying I can no longer blame on my children. It is MY fault I am this way.
You can do it. WE can do it.
P.S. As I’m writing this, I’m chowing on jelly beans and I know I shouldn’t be, that I should be eating the veggies I packed for a snack…but yet…I continue to eat them.
GREAT POST! I could have written it myself, but in reverse. I did have the multiples – last January. And my first just 17 months before that. The only time in my life I’ve ever done the right thing where weight is concerned has been during those 2 pregnancies. I just keep battling the same weight I’ve battled for years, plus extra pounds I blame on TAKING CARE OF the kids. Good luck! I’m cheering for you AND for me!
I almost peed myself when I read that you’ve been at it for 18 hours! Hysterical!! Hang in there…it’s hard, but it can be done (and I was pregnant with multiples)!
This is hilarious — mostly because I think I had the same exact thoughts!!! I gained 65 and 75 lbs with my pregnancies, and it’s all gone and then some. YOU CAN DO IT! Keep at it for at least another 18 hours!
Damn you’re funny! Are you funny because you are fat or were you funny before that? I hope you know I’m kidding and just trying to make fun of stereotypes. I have to add the disclaimer because tone doesn’t always come across.
My daughter is 19 months old and I’m fat! I hate it! Make it go away.
18 hours is a lot of time to invest without seeing results. I feel your pain.
My daughter will be 3 in September and it has taken me this entire time to lose 75 pounds. AGH! But it’s happened, and it’s still happening, and I know you can do it!!
LMAO! I get so frustrated too when I start a diet and I’m not back in my skinny jeans 2 days later! I mean, what is the point of depriving myself if it takes forever to see results!
I seriously could have written this myself! I gained 70 lbs with Isabella who is 2. I gained 30 with Madelyn who is 8 mos. I still have 30 lbs to go until I am back to my pre-Isabella weight. Ugh!!
I’m typing this after I ate 2 damn pb eggs. These holidays are what kill me with all of the candy, lol!